April 5, 2026

Ep. 244 Ben O’Brien NSW Police Officer

Ep. 244 Ben O’Brien NSW Police Officer

On today's Zero Limits Podcast host Matty Morris chats with Ben O’Brien NSW Police Officer After graduating from the police academy in 2012, he began his career at Harbourside LAC. Ben moved into plain clothes proactive policing early, working undercover operations across Kings Cross and Oxford Street, and later leading drug dog operations at major festivals. Returning to uniform, he spent years on the frontline attending critical incidents—domestics, suicides, fatal accidents, ar...

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Season 3

On today's Zero Limits Podcast host Matty Morris chats with Ben O’Brien NSW Police Officer

After graduating from the police academy in 2012, he began his career at Harbourside LAC. Ben moved into plain clothes proactive policing early, working undercover operations across Kings Cross and Oxford Street, and later leading drug dog operations at major festivals. Returning to uniform, he spent years on the frontline attending critical incidents—domestics, suicides, fatal accidents, armed offenders, and large-scale public disorder.

His career included secondments to specialist units like the Redfern Region Enforcement Squad and the Criminal Groups Squad within State Crime Command, contributing to major drug investigations and covert operations including police band!


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WEBVTT

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It's time for the Zero Limits Podcast, hosted by an Australian veteran.

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Chatting with high-charging humans with hectic stories from around the world.

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We'll give you the motivation to take on whatever life throws at you in the kick to complete any goal you set your mind to.

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Let's go.

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Zero Limits listeners.

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On today's Zero Limits podcast, joined in the guests by a 14-year New South Wales police veteran.

00:00:50.640 --> 00:00:52.640
Now, his name's Ben O'Brien.

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You may have seen his stuff uh code read on a on Instagram.

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Now, we've recorded once before.

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As you might know as a listener, I do everything.

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I do the editing, I do when I do video, I do the video, I do everything.

00:01:09.840 --> 00:01:16.159
And I'm an inventory guy, want the best with technology, taught myself absolutely everything.

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Anyway, I never never thought it was possible for a uh micro SD card to lose just to die.

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I I I don't know.

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I don't know how that works.

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And if there's a scientist or a tech geek out there somewhere that can tell me how how something of that size can just stop working.

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Please let me know because I went into a rage.

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Anyway, we recorded a podcast previously a couple of weeks ago.

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Card went to shit, lost a couple of podcasts on it.

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And there's a whole story to it as well.

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I was just showing Ben just now.

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There's a little springy device thing in the back of the thing, and it shot out.

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I went home, tested on laptops, didn't work, came back to the studio, put it back in the system, it shot out, and there was this little hole in the studio, and I thought it went down this.

00:02:01.680 --> 00:02:03.920
Oh, it was just a ropeable day.

00:02:08.080 --> 00:02:17.439
Back to Ben's story of 14 years in the uh in the I was about to say the Defense Force, 14 years in the New Stars Police, including a stint at Bandcamp.

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Gotta love Bandcamp.

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It is terrible.

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Everyone loves band camp.

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If it's uh anything like American Pie, it might be good.

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But uh Ben mate, welcome back again.

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No, thanks for having me back again.

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Yeah, mate.

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Uh uh, you know, apologies and appreciation of you coming back up, but also again, like I said, apologies because I don't know.

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Technology, you can't trust it.

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I know, and now for the this is for the first time ever, I've got a backup recording system.

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Sometimes I have used those little road mics you can clip on.

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Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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I've got sound, you know, can sometimes distort and play through the microphone.

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So now it's connected up to the iMac, and hopefully, for whatever reason this crashes, we've got a backup copy.

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Backup's always good.

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Fingers crossed.

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Now, mate, I've spoken about uh 14 years in the New Sales Police and quite a you know a busy time doing all that uh G a lot pr pr predominantly um general duties and uh a lot of plain clothes stuff, which we'll definitely talk about, mate.

00:03:21.599 --> 00:03:29.280
But however, as always, before we start off with your career in New Sales Police, let's get back to young Ben, mate.

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Where did you grow up and run me through that younger life?

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Yeah, young Ben.

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I grew up on the North Shore of Sydney.

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I was very lucky for that.

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Mum and dad had worked their asses off.

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They they came from up Maitland way.

00:03:45.039 --> 00:03:48.479
Well, mum was an army brat, so she moved around a lot.

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And dad's a Maitland boy, so I was very privileged that they're bloody hard workers and got to grow up on the North.

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And to get out of Maitland.

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Yeah, that's where I live.

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Oh mate, if you if you talk to my old man, Maitland's still the place to be.

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It is, mate, it's pretty good.

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I'd take the Maitland out of the boy.

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But yeah, so grew up there with got there's four kids in my family, so busy family.

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Um went to school on the North Shore.

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Um what school?

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Uh I went to a couple, started off as did you?

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Yeah, I did.

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Um some of that maitland rubbed off on you.

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Yeah, me and the old man chalk and cheese.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Went to a school called Barker College to start with.

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Um wasn't my scene.

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Um now I'm older.

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Geez, I really stuffed up a good opportunity there.

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But yeah, in year 10, the end of year 10, got the tap on the shoulder from the principal to move on from the school.

00:04:54.480 --> 00:04:58.319
So it was one of those leave gracefully before you get expelled.

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I think my last five weeks at the school, I had five sad day detentions.

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So I was just we just playing up in class type thing.

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Playing up in class, fighting, fighting a few, yeah, one person in particular.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Because I was I was a tiny little bloke, so people thought they could pick on me because I was so little and my old man gave me the green light eventually.

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He's like, yeah, just unleash.

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It's Maitland genetics.

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Yeah, it is.

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So yeah, that that was kind of like the final straw for the private schools.

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Um, so I left there, did a couple of months at TAFE doing the easiest course you could pick.

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I think it was business administration or something like that.

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It was a certificate three, you just learn how to do spreadsheets.

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Um old man said, gotta get a job.

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I was like, no, I don't want to do that.

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So I'll find another school to go to because I still had 11 and 12 to go.

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So I ended up at a school called Tarumara High, which my folks said they want me to go to any school but Tarama High.

00:06:09.360 --> 00:06:11.279
They have a reputa a reputation, did it?

00:06:11.600 --> 00:06:17.040
Yeah, like it's still the North Shore, but it was the school that where everyone got expelled from.

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The dregs went.

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Yeah, that's where you end up.

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I was like, yeah, stuff it.

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I want to go there.

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So that was good.

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I loved it there.

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I learned absolutely nothing, but had fun, got a good bunch of mates from there, a few of them like I'm still in regular contact with.

00:06:38.160 --> 00:06:43.040
Um finished year 12, didn't get HSE.

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I think they give it called a certificate of attainment.

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So it means you did the time, but you did sweet nothing while you're there.

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So yeah, that's that's where I ended up.

00:06:54.000 --> 00:06:55.839
What uh what years are we talking here?

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Uh so I graduated 07, the Kevin 07 year.

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Oh, yeah, did you?

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That's how I remember it.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:07:02.480 --> 00:07:05.040
So you finished 07, not so good at school.

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Did you have any concept, you know, any uh view on what you were planning to do for the rest of your life, or was it just um I always as a kid wanted to join defence.

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That was my dream job.

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Um I was mad keen on it.

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Um where did that come from?

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Uh well my family's got defense.

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You said your mum's dad was Yeah, mum's dad.

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So going right back, my old man's uncle, so my great-great uncle, he landed on Gallipoli in World War One.

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Oh shit.

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Um then going over to Mum's side, my granddad was World War II.

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Uh he did invasion of Sicily, all of New Guinea.

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He he did absolutely japs up.

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Yeah, oh I think they did a fair bit of toweling as well.

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There's other stories he tells me.

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Um but yeah, he did.

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He served from 39, the 1939 to 1937.

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So he did post-war as well.

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Oh, so th so you said 39 to 37, 39 to 40.

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47.

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It can't even count.

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So he did oh shit.

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So he did a massive stint.

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He did a big stint.

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Yeah, right.

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And then an even like a fun not a funny story, but he was oh I were in Sydney and he got put on HMAS Cuttable to to bunk up, and he went a little A-WOL that night to go see my grandma, and that's when the Japanese midget sumps blew it up.

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Oh, no way.

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So he's come back the next morning.

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Granny said the night.

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Yeah.

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Like, I wouldn't be here today if he he didn't do the little wander off.

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So yeah, we've all been there.

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Oh he told me some funny stories from back in those days.

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But then, yeah, on my dad's side, my granddad, he tried to sign up for World War II, but he was a miner up in the Hunter.

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Oh, so he was uh critical trade.

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Yeah, yeah.

00:09:12.799 --> 00:09:15.759
So they wouldn't let him, and he was not happy about that.

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So he was gonna quit being a miner and join, and they said, nah, that that's not how this works.

00:09:21.360 --> 00:09:25.200
So yeah, only one grandfather went to World War II.

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Um uncle went to Vietnam.

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Um, and my other uncle was an army man up in Brisbane.

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He was a lifer.

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So yeah, a lot of defense backgrounds.

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Yeah.

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So policing, nothing.

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Uh well, granddad, he um he finished up World War II, discharged, and became a minister of religion.

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So he became minister with the Salvation Army.

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I think he might have had a come on a god moment during the war, and he's like, if I can get out of here.

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I'm sure he would have a few times.

00:10:00.240 --> 00:10:00.559
Yeah.

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So he became a minister, and then I think he must have missed the itch of defence, and so then moved over to become a padre based out of Holsworthy.

00:10:11.840 --> 00:10:13.440
So that was through the Vietnam years.

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He was the padre out there.

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Um he moved around a bit, and that's where mum moved around as a bit of an army brat because he just they stayed on bases all over the place.

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But his main posting was Holesworthy.

00:10:28.799 --> 00:10:33.519
And then post that he became a the padre for the police.

00:10:33.759 --> 00:10:34.399
Oh, did he?

00:10:34.559 --> 00:10:34.720
Yeah.

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Yeah, right.

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So he was in the first batch of official New South Wales police chaplains.

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So that was always around.

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And back then he was on call all the time as a chaplain.

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So he had the blue whirly bird in the car, he had a police radio in the car, uniform good to go.

00:10:54.080 --> 00:11:05.279
So I was always hearing stuff from him, and my old man always had police mates, but all his m mates that I would hear stories about are ex-coppers or coppers.

00:11:05.440 --> 00:11:08.879
So really, my surrounding was defence and cops.

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That was always there.

00:11:11.200 --> 00:11:17.919
You can only imagine some young cop coming up to your granddad as a padre going, oh I'm I'm a bit sad.

00:11:19.039 --> 00:11:20.799
Let me tell you about sad, son.

00:11:21.039 --> 00:11:23.120
Let me tell you about the Pacific, mate.

00:11:23.759 --> 00:11:25.600
But they're the kind of people you want as a partner.

00:11:26.080 --> 00:11:26.559
100%.

00:11:27.360 --> 00:11:28.960
Real world experience.

00:11:30.159 --> 00:11:36.639
Yeah, been there, done that, and then you know, uh it probably would have been doing the same thing for the Vietnam, but oh, I got blown up.

00:11:36.720 --> 00:11:38.159
Oh, harden up, young fella.

00:11:38.559 --> 00:11:39.440
I think that's every generation.

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My first time.

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Every generation reckons a new one is softer than they were actually.

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They're different human beings back then.

00:11:47.840 --> 00:11:48.000
Yeah.

00:11:48.159 --> 00:11:53.840
They're just different purebred toxic masculinity, which I love.

00:11:54.159 --> 00:11:54.879
Saving the world.

00:11:55.519 --> 00:11:56.000
Yeah, mate.

00:11:56.080 --> 00:11:57.519
They were just just men.

00:11:57.600 --> 00:12:04.000
You know, like like you said, you know, your your other grandfather pretty much was pissed off that he couldn't go to war because he was a minor.

00:12:04.080 --> 00:12:04.159
Yeah.

00:12:04.320 --> 00:12:04.879
You know what I mean?

00:12:04.960 --> 00:12:08.000
Like he was chomping at the bit to get into it.

00:12:08.240 --> 00:12:12.000
And there were kids lying, 12, 13, 14, saying they're 18, 40.

00:12:15.120 --> 00:12:16.000
Fighting Germans.

00:12:16.320 --> 00:12:17.200
Like fully trained.

00:12:18.080 --> 00:12:20.240
Getting metal gallantries and oh wild.

00:12:20.559 --> 00:12:21.519
It's it's crazy, mate.

00:12:21.759 --> 00:12:24.879
But you know, like I agree, there was the best generation where we had 100%.

00:12:25.440 --> 00:12:29.440
100% compared to what have we got people pretending to be cats now.

00:12:29.679 --> 00:12:31.600
Compared to the unitex tourists now.

00:12:32.080 --> 00:12:40.480
Um, so you've obviously got that history within your your family, both defence and you know, the the around the police as well.

00:12:40.720 --> 00:12:49.600
And you know, you you spoke about having the defence, you know, on your in your vision, however, you know, you end up joining the cops.

00:12:49.840 --> 00:12:50.720
This is 2011.

00:12:50.799 --> 00:12:56.080
So what's happening, you know, that a couple of years you got what you got four years in the civilian world.

00:12:56.159 --> 00:12:58.559
Are you working or you playing up?

00:12:58.960 --> 00:13:00.639
No, I was playing up big time.

00:13:00.879 --> 00:13:04.960
Um, it's a part of my life I am not proud of whatsoever.

00:13:05.120 --> 00:13:08.159
Like I look back on it now and I'm disgusted of who I became.

00:13:08.320 --> 00:13:11.440
So post-high school some Maitland genetics again.

00:13:12.480 --> 00:13:14.399
I'm just gonna blame old man for everything.

00:13:14.639 --> 00:13:15.600
It's just genetics, mate.

00:13:15.759 --> 00:13:17.279
You can't get that dirt out of you.

00:13:19.440 --> 00:13:21.039
Oh, it's yeah.

00:13:21.679 --> 00:13:26.639
He wasn't happy with the way I turned out, but yeah, it was I I was I started rebelling.

00:13:26.799 --> 00:13:30.720
So my family, because a granddad was a minister, was religious.

00:13:30.799 --> 00:13:42.080
I grew up in the the Salvation Army in the church, was a good a good boy for a long time, and then hit high school and went the opposite way.

00:13:42.320 --> 00:13:50.799
And then once I finished high school, I pulled away from my close schoolmates and started hanging out with a pretty shit crowd.

00:13:50.960 --> 00:13:59.440
Um as an understatement, uh, absolute grubs that like later on they'll pop on up on the Intel spreadsheets at work.

00:13:59.759 --> 00:14:00.240
Well were they?

00:14:00.320 --> 00:14:00.720
Shit.

00:14:00.960 --> 00:14:13.279
Oh, they'll we were up to just stuff like street crime, broken innards breaking the cars, drugs, drink, just shit bag teenage behaviour.

00:14:14.720 --> 00:14:23.600
So I I got I got caught into that crowd, and like the main thing back then was the gate crash parties.

00:14:24.480 --> 00:14:25.120
We loved it.

00:14:25.200 --> 00:14:31.919
Like you'd if there was nothing to do, we'd gate crash a party, have a punch on, steal the grog, happy days.

00:14:32.000 --> 00:14:32.480
Yeah.

00:14:32.799 --> 00:14:36.559
And then one night we gate crashed this party.

00:14:37.120 --> 00:14:52.879
It was in Pimble, I think it was, and um there was a punch on, mate was getting flogged, I jumped in through a couple, and I got grabbed from behind, like in this bear hug, and I was like, shit, I'm about to get smashed.

00:14:53.120 --> 00:15:06.480
So I've flown an elbow back and I don't know where I got got old mate, but it was a copper who'd come in to break up the party, and I got f absolutely toweled up.

00:15:06.720 --> 00:15:09.039
Like towed up.

00:15:09.679 --> 00:15:20.720
Anyway, next thing I know, I'm in the back of the paddy wagon, and literally everything in my life had just gone through my head, and I'm like, old man's gonna flog me, my mum's gonna hate me.

00:15:21.200 --> 00:15:22.639
I was just a disgrace.

00:15:23.519 --> 00:15:28.320
And I was like trying to work out how I was gonna explain what was going on.

00:15:28.879 --> 00:15:54.960
Next minute the van pulls over, and um they ditched me in a car park of an oval, and it was like if anyone knows the North Shore, there's like real bushy areas, and it was like this bush track into the car park, and like kicked me out and drove off, and I had no idea where I was, and it was only around the corner, and something about that changed the whole projectory of my life.

00:15:55.279 --> 00:16:12.799
Like I didn't care about anyone else or anything um that happened, and I was like, I really need to switch on like I I'm I think I was about 19, 18, 19 at the time.

00:16:13.440 --> 00:16:16.879
I was like, this is not a life that I've been brought up to be.

00:16:17.039 --> 00:16:17.519
Yeah.

00:16:18.399 --> 00:16:26.639
And like people might criticize old school policing, but that flogging I got changed my life completely.

00:16:28.080 --> 00:16:29.200
Left out in the middle of nowhere.

00:16:29.360 --> 00:16:33.120
Like it was good.

00:16:33.360 --> 00:16:35.759
Like it wasn't it didn't feel good at the time.

00:16:38.639 --> 00:16:43.679
But yeah, I was on a one-way street to nowhere at that stage.

00:16:44.399 --> 00:16:48.879
Um it was just gonna be a one-way street to getting locked up, basically.

00:16:49.919 --> 00:16:55.360
Um so yeah, cut that group away, which wasn't as easy as I thought it would be.

00:16:56.000 --> 00:17:00.879
It was got my car trashed and oh did it?

00:17:00.960 --> 00:17:01.360
They turned hard.

00:17:01.679 --> 00:17:02.960
Yeah, they turned hard.

00:17:03.200 --> 00:17:06.480
Um almost like a little gang type thing.

00:17:06.720 --> 00:17:08.079
Yeah, or wannabe gang.

00:17:08.240 --> 00:17:09.119
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:17:10.079 --> 00:17:12.640
Like back then you would said we we would have said we were.

00:17:12.799 --> 00:17:13.119
Yeah.

00:17:13.279 --> 00:17:14.880
But once you become an adult, you'll listen to it.

00:17:14.960 --> 00:17:16.400
It's all a real gang staunch yeah, yeah.

00:17:17.359 --> 00:17:22.000
Until you actually deal with real gangs, you go, oh yeah, shoot, they're just crappy kids.

00:17:22.559 --> 00:17:27.039
So yeah, after that, I started hanging back out with my schoolmates.

00:17:27.279 --> 00:17:31.279
And like we weren't angels, but they weren't crooks.

00:17:31.920 --> 00:17:33.440
Like we just had a lot of fun.

00:17:33.680 --> 00:17:34.319
Just boys, yeah.

00:17:34.400 --> 00:17:34.559
Yeah.

00:17:34.799 --> 00:17:36.880
Boys doing boys stuff, like muck around.

00:17:36.960 --> 00:17:47.279
We used to just hang out in the bush all time, build build bush bases, yeah, yeah, make guns, and I always slingshots, yeah, yeah.

00:17:47.680 --> 00:17:50.079
Just causing a ruckus on the street.

00:17:50.319 --> 00:17:57.839
Um and then one day one of my mates from school he's he hit me up and he's like, Oh, do you want to come do an open day down at Golden?

00:17:58.160 --> 00:18:00.559
The police are doing an open day.

00:18:01.039 --> 00:18:02.880
And I was like, Yeah, why not?

00:18:03.200 --> 00:18:04.240
Got nothing else going.

00:18:04.880 --> 00:18:09.440
So me, his name was Caleb and Steve his brother.

00:18:09.680 --> 00:18:19.039
We jumped in my car, did a little roadie down to Golden, and they had the open day down there, and it was I loved it being down there.

00:18:19.200 --> 00:18:28.720
Like I didn't like what they showed, they had TOU, they had dog squad, they did all sorts of demonstrations and it was pretty sick.

00:18:28.880 --> 00:18:38.799
So me and Caleb grabbed they had an application envelope with all these questions and paperwork and what what to do.

00:18:39.039 --> 00:18:43.599
So we grabbed that and I went back to Sydney and that night started filling it out.

00:18:44.400 --> 00:18:48.880
And then it was just a change like within a couple of months my life had turned around.

00:18:49.680 --> 00:18:50.640
Complete 180.

00:18:50.880 --> 00:18:51.680
From those cops.

00:18:51.920 --> 00:18:54.720
Yeah, from those Kering guy coppers.

00:18:54.880 --> 00:18:55.119
Yeah.

00:18:55.279 --> 00:18:55.519
Yeah.

00:18:55.759 --> 00:18:56.640
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:18:56.799 --> 00:19:01.440
It's funny you say that because probably about just quickly side story.

00:19:01.680 --> 00:19:05.839
Yeah, 10 something years ago I was with Nitro Circus up on the Gold Coast.

00:19:06.559 --> 00:19:15.279
Uh, two athletes come to me, you know, whenever they got in trouble in town and stuff, they'd all just, you know, they'd call me straight away and tell me what's going on.

00:19:15.359 --> 00:19:18.160
Yeah, because I'd I'd go and fix whatever issue they had.

00:19:18.480 --> 00:19:18.880
The Mr.

00:19:19.039 --> 00:19:19.359
Fixer.

00:19:19.920 --> 00:19:20.079
Mr.

00:19:20.319 --> 00:19:20.799
Fixit.

00:19:21.039 --> 00:19:33.039
And they call me and they end up getting arrested and um put in the back of paddy wagon, driven out to somewhere, and they must have been gobbing off in the back of the paddy wagon as you do.

00:19:33.440 --> 00:19:35.839
You can't do this and fuck you, and blah blah blah.

00:19:36.240 --> 00:19:44.720
So apparently the cops pulled over, uh got out the back, opened the back door, took his belt off, took everything off, and offer offered them out.

00:19:45.039 --> 00:19:46.000
And they were in tears.

00:19:46.079 --> 00:19:48.880
Like when they when they called me, it's like they were just so scared.

00:19:48.960 --> 00:19:51.680
I'm like, I was I was I was warm in the heart.

00:19:51.920 --> 00:19:53.200
Yeah, I started feeling good.

00:19:53.359 --> 00:19:53.839
I was warm.

00:19:53.920 --> 00:19:56.960
I was like, that's how that's what policing should be.

00:19:57.039 --> 00:20:01.039
Yeah, you want to gob off, fucking here's your time to fight a cop.

00:20:01.200 --> 00:20:01.440
Do it.

00:20:01.759 --> 00:20:04.240
It's like that movie uh end of watch where he fights fights that creep.

00:20:04.480 --> 00:20:06.880
And then he takes his belt off and goes for it.

00:20:07.200 --> 00:20:08.720
Yeah, that's I loved it.

00:20:08.880 --> 00:20:22.880
Yeah, like I've I worked with people that were mad keen on the justice system where no matter what happened, throw them in the dock, send them to court, even for little things, like they'll just always we've got to arrest them, blah blah blah.

00:20:23.599 --> 00:20:32.880
The courts do sweet enough innit these days, clogging the system up, and then the cops I worked with when I was junior that dished out a bit of street justice.

00:20:33.200 --> 00:20:34.079
Some kids need it.

00:20:34.480 --> 00:20:36.799
Mate, it's I'm testament to it.

00:20:36.880 --> 00:20:37.920
Like I can say it works.

00:20:38.000 --> 00:20:43.519
Yeah, like there's a there's a fine line between uh pulling someone into line and just being a thug.

00:20:43.839 --> 00:20:47.039
Like I got no time for cops that just want to bash people.

00:20:47.119 --> 00:20:47.920
That's next level.

00:20:49.440 --> 00:20:49.599
Yeah.

00:20:50.000 --> 00:20:54.160
But a good attitude adjustment.

00:20:54.400 --> 00:20:54.960
That's it.

00:20:55.200 --> 00:20:57.759
Mate, it works for wonders for a lot of people.

00:20:58.000 --> 00:21:05.279
I think that's not even just policing, anything in general life, it's parents should be doing some character adjustment on the kids.

00:21:05.440 --> 00:21:06.720
Some people just need a punch in the face.

00:21:07.039 --> 00:21:08.079
That's 100% right.

00:21:08.160 --> 00:21:10.240
You know, it's funny here like again, another story.

00:21:10.400 --> 00:21:15.359
I was 17, snuck into a pub anyway, got found out, bouncer beat the shit out of me.

00:21:15.519 --> 00:21:17.359
I never fucking never did that again.

00:21:17.519 --> 00:21:19.839
Yeah, never snuck into a pub again.

00:21:19.920 --> 00:21:22.799
I remember going back when I turned 18, apologised.

00:21:23.680 --> 00:21:39.200
And then I still get that oh, you know, when I was bouncing in the clock nightclub doors up here in uh Newcastle and you'd flog someone, allegedly, and you know, they'd come back two weeks later and apologize, and they'll be your best friend for the next forever.

00:21:39.519 --> 00:21:41.839
And that's it, their character has been adjusted.

00:21:42.079 --> 00:21:42.640
That's it.

00:21:42.960 --> 00:21:45.200
Attitude adjustments straight away.

00:21:45.519 --> 00:21:48.559
And like it it really varies on person to person.

00:21:48.720 --> 00:21:56.000
Of course, some people's language is communication, and the only way you can get through to them is with logic and talking and communication skills.

00:21:56.240 --> 00:21:56.559
Gay.

00:21:56.880 --> 00:21:57.359
Yep.

00:22:02.000 --> 00:22:04.799
Uh but some people literally just need a clip.

00:22:05.759 --> 00:22:07.839
And then that's the language they speak.

00:22:08.079 --> 00:22:08.559
Yeah.

00:22:08.799 --> 00:22:10.079
So it works.

00:22:10.400 --> 00:22:24.559
So for you, as you said, you've gone out you've gone down to the academy for this open day with your mate, and you both come back home, fill out the application form, submit it, and obviously you get a phone call and they're like, oh, we've got to come in for an interview.

00:22:25.039 --> 00:22:29.599
Back then it was an email, got an email saying you've been successful through the first phase.

00:22:30.160 --> 00:22:39.759
Then there's it was an online thing with the professional suitability stuff, so you had to declare or not declare certain no, no.

00:22:40.079 --> 00:22:41.119
Everything's no.

00:22:42.000 --> 00:22:49.519
Um, and then we went in for our fitness and psych tests, and everything back then it was really rushed.

00:22:49.680 --> 00:22:58.319
Like I only took four or five months from putting filling out the first form to getting down to the academy.

00:22:58.400 --> 00:23:01.359
Like I I don't remember waiting too long.

00:23:02.480 --> 00:23:06.400
And I don't think we had an interview back then, it was all just through paper.

00:23:06.720 --> 00:23:07.039
Was it?

00:23:07.119 --> 00:23:07.519
Yeah, right.

00:23:07.759 --> 00:23:08.880
Because it was just a rush.

00:23:09.119 --> 00:23:13.039
Obviously, they were built trying to build the police force and oh yeah, and we had huge classes.

00:23:13.440 --> 00:23:14.240
Huge class, yeah.

00:23:14.400 --> 00:23:15.039
Yeah.

00:23:16.400 --> 00:23:25.440
So you do all the testing, blah, blah, blah, get accepted in offered your uh Academy date down in uh Golden.

00:23:25.839 --> 00:23:27.119
Yeah, which was Mother's Day.

00:23:27.279 --> 00:23:27.759
Oh, was it?

00:23:27.920 --> 00:23:29.599
Yeah, so poor mum.

00:23:29.680 --> 00:23:29.839
Yeah.

00:23:30.079 --> 00:23:31.440
Dropped me off on Mother's Day.

00:23:31.519 --> 00:23:31.920
Yeah.

00:23:32.079 --> 00:23:34.400
Um, but it was good, me and my mate Kale.

00:23:34.640 --> 00:23:39.039
We both got into the starting together.

00:23:39.119 --> 00:23:41.279
So it was really good having that tight mate down there.

00:23:41.519 --> 00:23:42.240
Yeah, yeah.

00:23:42.480 --> 00:23:46.240
Um there was a huge class when we got down there.

00:23:46.400 --> 00:23:51.839
Like any of New South Wales cops that have been to the Academy, or all have, but the listening.

00:23:52.079 --> 00:24:00.640
We got the basketball auditorium, the whole auditorium was packed, plus the gr the stands up the top, like the grandstands.

00:24:01.200 --> 00:24:03.200
It was full to the brim.

00:24:03.680 --> 00:24:05.680
And it was I loved it.

00:24:05.839 --> 00:24:10.559
There was a sergeant that comes out, the pro head of protocol, senior sergeant Mark Elm.

00:24:11.039 --> 00:24:12.400
And I know him well.

00:24:12.480 --> 00:24:12.720
Yeah.

00:24:12.880 --> 00:24:13.920
We chatted a few times, yeah.

00:24:14.240 --> 00:24:15.519
Absolute legend of a human.

00:24:15.599 --> 00:24:18.400
But he came out and he's he was that drill instructor, wasn't he?

00:24:18.559 --> 00:24:18.720
Yeah.

00:24:18.880 --> 00:24:20.640
He's the drill guy.

00:24:21.119 --> 00:24:22.079
Knife hand man.

00:24:22.160 --> 00:24:22.799
Yeah.

00:24:23.200 --> 00:24:33.519
Like he just told us it was, and like he wasn't brutal in my eyes, but he he set down the law of what's expected of us at the academy, what's expected of us as a cop.

00:24:34.640 --> 00:24:41.759
And I loved it because his mannerisms were so much like my old man that it was like comfortable.

00:24:41.839 --> 00:24:43.359
I was just like, oh yeah.

00:24:43.920 --> 00:24:45.599
My old man's on a on a mish.

00:24:45.680 --> 00:24:47.680
He's just like, Sergeant Hell.

00:24:48.400 --> 00:24:54.240
Anyway, we went to bed that night, came back the next day, and half the grandstand was gone.

00:24:54.480 --> 00:24:57.440
Like the people just packed up their bags and went home.

00:24:58.079 --> 00:25:01.279
I was like, what the f doesn't make sense.

00:25:01.519 --> 00:25:06.240
And so we had our first three or four days of orientation, getting told stuff.

00:25:06.559 --> 00:25:10.880
And each morning there was less and less people in the aitorium.

00:25:11.119 --> 00:25:13.920
They just packed up bags and went.

00:25:14.400 --> 00:25:17.839
Which just baffled me because it wasn't that bad.

00:25:18.079 --> 00:25:18.720
It wasn't that bad.

00:25:19.359 --> 00:25:19.519
Yeah.

00:25:20.079 --> 00:25:24.000
Went through the effort to get down there, and they couldn't even get through a week.

00:25:24.160 --> 00:25:26.319
Like it's prop like props to them.

00:25:26.400 --> 00:25:27.680
At least they didn't go out in the street.

00:25:28.000 --> 00:25:29.039
It's better, it's a better money.

00:25:29.519 --> 00:25:29.680
Exactly.

00:25:29.920 --> 00:25:30.000
Right.

00:25:30.240 --> 00:25:33.759
And that that you know, I guess that's the whole point of the academy is to weed out.

00:25:34.000 --> 00:25:34.319
Yeah.

00:25:34.799 --> 00:25:39.680
Same for the defence force, you know, going through Kapuka's to weed out people that are not suited for the job.

00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:44.799
Like you said, rather than getting to a station doing a week, seeing a dead body and going, oh, that's not for me.

00:25:44.960 --> 00:25:45.599
Yeah, all the resources.

00:25:46.079 --> 00:25:46.799
All that money, yeah.

00:25:46.960 --> 00:25:48.240
All that money's gone, yeah.

00:25:48.480 --> 00:25:50.559
So yeah, everything's it dwindled down.

00:25:50.720 --> 00:25:52.640
We still had a big class.

00:25:53.039 --> 00:26:03.119
And so yeah, we then cracked onto all that theory and and how did you find you speak about theory, how did you find your you know, pretty shit at school?

00:26:03.359 --> 00:26:04.000
Yeah.

00:26:04.559 --> 00:26:11.039
And just on that, you're obviously being shit at school, you only got that certificate attainment of, you know, basically saying, Yeah, you went to school.

00:26:11.119 --> 00:26:11.440
Yeah.

00:26:11.599 --> 00:26:19.119
How did you go getting into the police with that lower grade, or did you do TAFE or could that work and then have the study go in the academy?

00:26:19.359 --> 00:26:30.000
Yeah, so because I did that couple of months at TAFE when I l left the private school, I was able to scrape through with that certificate three of whatever it was.

00:26:30.400 --> 00:26:38.240
That got me over the mark because I finished year 12 and had a certificate three, that somehow accumulated to get me in.

00:26:38.480 --> 00:26:40.400
Which lucky.

00:26:40.559 --> 00:26:49.279
Like I was just doing it to fill time and to get my old man off my back about getting a job, but it got me into the cops, which thank God for that.

00:26:49.519 --> 00:26:56.880
But yeah, I'd I struggled academically, like I'd I'd never studied in my life, I didn't understand it.

00:26:57.200 --> 00:27:00.559
Um I understood everything at the academy.

00:27:00.720 --> 00:27:07.440
It was just getting it sunk in for an exam that was was hard, but I wasn't the only one.

00:27:07.599 --> 00:27:15.279
Like me and my group of mates down there were all pretty similar kind of dudes, all from the same kind of background.

00:27:16.720 --> 00:27:35.119
We all not all of us struggled, but we got to the end of session one and we had all our exams, and I failed lore by one and a half marks, which I think it equated to like one multiple choice question or something, or two multiple choice questions.

00:27:35.599 --> 00:27:36.000
Yeah.

00:27:36.240 --> 00:27:40.880
And back then there was no resits or remarks, it was just fail.

00:27:41.839 --> 00:27:51.039
So I found out I'd failed while I was on my SPO, so when we were out at the station doing your work experience kind of thing, so that was a punch in the guts.

00:27:52.240 --> 00:28:02.480
Um, because of that, we had to go down the next session and do the whole session time frame by just law.

00:28:03.200 --> 00:28:08.319
So our I passed everything else, so that stayed current, it was just law.

00:28:08.559 --> 00:28:16.240
But when we got down there, it was there was 125 of us that had failed that exam.

00:28:16.480 --> 00:28:17.440
Oh shit.

00:28:17.839 --> 00:28:21.839
Which it was it was cool because all your mates were down there.

00:28:22.079 --> 00:28:22.319
Yeah.

00:28:22.559 --> 00:28:28.319
Like I thought I was gonna start having to meet new people again, but yeah, there was a lot of us down there.

00:28:28.480 --> 00:28:38.720
So they started a whole new law class just of the ones that had failed because now that session was chock a block full of people.

00:28:39.359 --> 00:28:49.279
So that that was agonizing because it was just the whole time frame again, but just for one subject, it was painful.

00:28:49.599 --> 00:28:54.960
And so then once we set the one law exam again, then we could move into session two.

00:28:55.279 --> 00:28:55.839
Yep, yep.

00:28:56.079 --> 00:28:59.200
What's it what what's sorry, what's in in an exam?

00:28:59.359 --> 00:29:09.279
Is it just like what are you learning about legislation and legislation, your your powers of arrest, your powers to search, your powers of seizure?

00:29:09.440 --> 00:29:09.759
Yep.

00:29:09.920 --> 00:29:12.640
Um there'd be like a scenario-based question.

00:29:12.720 --> 00:29:19.599
So it's like this, this, this, what, what laws, what power do you have to do this?

00:29:20.160 --> 00:29:28.960
A heap of multiple choice questions about like your powers with your appointments, your firearm, your OC spray, your cuffs.

00:29:30.799 --> 00:29:34.160
Just everything you can throw into there.

00:29:34.480 --> 00:29:39.599
I'm not sure what it's like now, like that's a long time ago, but that's the that's the gist of what the exams were like.

00:29:39.759 --> 00:29:40.000
Yep.

00:29:40.160 --> 00:29:42.000
Then we had different ones for like traffic as well.

00:29:42.079 --> 00:29:47.359
So there was a specific traffic exam, I think there was an ethics exam.

00:29:48.000 --> 00:29:49.759
Morals and ethics.

00:29:50.559 --> 00:29:51.920
Yeah, they all sucked.

00:29:52.000 --> 00:29:53.519
Like, I just hate studying.

00:29:54.000 --> 00:29:54.799
It hurts.

00:29:54.960 --> 00:29:56.240
It hurts so much.

00:29:56.559 --> 00:29:59.039
Can't you just j chat GPT that stuff these days?

00:29:59.119 --> 00:30:02.000
You're sitting in a police car and it's like, oh, what can I book this person for?

00:30:02.319 --> 00:30:02.559
Literally.

00:30:02.799 --> 00:30:03.279
Chat GPT.

00:30:03.440 --> 00:30:08.079
But then once you get out on the streak, it a lot of it goes, but the fundamentals are in your head.

00:30:08.160 --> 00:30:09.759
You know someone's done something wrong or right.

00:30:09.920 --> 00:30:16.640
And you'd probably be using the same legislation or the same you know things over and over again.

00:30:16.720 --> 00:30:20.400
So you especially like your domestic stuff and your powers to stuff.

00:30:20.720 --> 00:30:24.000
It's the same same shit, different day, corner.

00:30:24.160 --> 00:30:24.720
Yeah.

00:30:25.440 --> 00:30:26.319
Yeah, right, mate.

00:30:26.400 --> 00:30:29.519
So as you spoke about, you obviously had to go back and do this session.

00:30:29.599 --> 00:30:33.039
However, during that time you were on your placement, where was this at?

00:30:33.279 --> 00:30:36.160
Yeah, so they sent you to your local station for your placement.

00:30:36.240 --> 00:30:42.720
So I got put on at Chatswood Police Station, and it was pretty non-eventful because it was the middle of winter.

00:30:42.799 --> 00:31:03.839
It just there was domestics, noise complaints, like mobs at the train station, but nothing that stands out as being exciting, or it was good just to get the lay of the land, just like how actual policing is behind closed doors and out of the academy.

00:31:04.079 --> 00:31:08.559
And I was still keen as like I was like, yeah, this is the job I want.

00:31:08.720 --> 00:31:09.119
Yeah.

00:31:09.359 --> 00:31:14.559
So it was good, but I didn't get any good stories or experiences out of it.

00:31:14.640 --> 00:31:18.480
It was more just learning curves of how they operate.

00:31:18.720 --> 00:31:20.559
How how long's that placement for?

00:31:20.720 --> 00:31:22.319
That was two weeks back then.

00:31:22.480 --> 00:31:23.119
So two weeks.

00:31:23.200 --> 00:31:29.519
So at least you yeah, you get to understand the life of a a cop inside a station when they get a call and what they're doing, and blah blah blah.

00:31:29.680 --> 00:31:32.640
And you do the shift works as well, shift works over two days, two nights.

00:31:32.720 --> 00:31:37.359
So you kind of you learn if your body can actually keep up with that or not.

00:31:37.440 --> 00:31:37.680
Yeah.

00:31:38.160 --> 00:31:39.599
And not off-roth it.

00:31:39.680 --> 00:31:39.839
Yeah.

00:31:41.599 --> 00:31:55.119
Yeah, it's funny because I've had a you know a bunch of cops on the podcast, and some have like yourself that have gone for these placements and they've been quite boring and just and then I've had some that have just gone to like three or four fucking murders in a row straight up, just copy.

00:31:55.440 --> 00:31:57.759
It's just blown, get him, he shouldn't be here.

00:31:58.000 --> 00:31:58.799
Doctor Death.

00:31:59.039 --> 00:32:00.079
Uh, yeah, right, mate.

00:32:00.160 --> 00:32:02.799
So you do your placement in regard to the academy.

00:32:02.880 --> 00:32:06.000
I had you find all the other stuff, physical and firearms.

00:32:06.160 --> 00:32:07.519
Yeah, all the other stuff.

00:32:07.680 --> 00:32:08.799
Oh, I ate it up.

00:32:08.880 --> 00:32:09.920
I loved it.

00:32:10.400 --> 00:32:13.359
Firearms, fitness.

00:32:13.519 --> 00:32:16.480
I wasn't an athlete, but I got through.

00:32:16.559 --> 00:32:18.720
It was just another thing.

00:32:19.359 --> 00:32:23.839
Um, your death tack, so your defensive tactics and training.

00:32:24.160 --> 00:32:24.880
Love that.

00:32:25.119 --> 00:32:35.039
Like it was intimidating as hell with they have the red man down there, and that was brutal back then, like actually brutal.

00:32:35.359 --> 00:32:43.279
Um but it was good because it prepared us for what was going out there when when we're going back on the street.

00:32:43.359 --> 00:32:56.640
Like it wasn't softy softy, it was the sergeant we had as our red man was a hard mofo, and he he towed us up something severe, but it was good.

00:32:56.799 --> 00:33:00.400
I still have like red man PTSD now, I think.

00:33:00.559 --> 00:33:05.680
I see things on Instagram, like a someone dressed up, it's like, oh, that was a shit time.

00:33:05.839 --> 00:33:06.240
Yeah.

00:33:06.480 --> 00:33:08.880
But no, the firearms was good, I love that.

00:33:09.200 --> 00:33:10.880
First time shooting a gun?

00:33:11.200 --> 00:33:11.680
Yes.

00:33:12.000 --> 00:33:12.720
Legally.

00:33:15.920 --> 00:33:19.200
Yeah, so that was first time firing a handgun.

00:33:19.279 --> 00:33:19.359
Yeah.

00:33:19.599 --> 00:33:22.559
So it was I loved it.

00:33:22.799 --> 00:33:37.599
I was really good to start with, and then as we got closer to the exams, anyone with firearms knowledge, when little mistakes with a handgun have big differences on target, so the more nervous you got towards exam time, it started going downhill.

00:33:37.839 --> 00:33:46.480
But there were good old school weapons instructors down there that could just I grew on the range a fair bit back then, so yeah, got through it no problem.

00:33:46.720 --> 00:33:49.440
But yeah, I loved it.

00:33:51.440 --> 00:33:55.599
From there, mate, how so how long's the whole academy process?

00:33:55.839 --> 00:34:00.240
So it's meant to be nine weeks, but because I did three sessions, yeah.

00:34:00.480 --> 00:34:03.279
Oh, it's nine, sorry, nine weeks each session.

00:34:03.519 --> 00:34:06.079
So mate, I'm not good at maths.

00:34:06.160 --> 00:34:07.039
I didn't get HSC.

00:34:07.200 --> 00:34:08.000
How many sessions are they?

00:34:08.239 --> 00:34:09.760
So there's meant to be two sessions down there.

00:34:09.920 --> 00:34:10.719
So I did three.

00:34:10.880 --> 00:34:11.199
Yeah.

00:34:11.360 --> 00:34:16.159
And with the gaps in between me and my mates, we ended up being down there for almost a year.

00:34:16.480 --> 00:34:17.119
Shit.

00:34:17.840 --> 00:34:18.480
Yeah.

00:34:19.920 --> 00:34:20.800
Yeah, yeah.

00:34:21.039 --> 00:34:22.000
It's a crap place.

00:34:22.079 --> 00:34:22.239
Yeah.

00:34:22.400 --> 00:34:24.559
No offense to anyone in Golden, but it's just not good.

00:34:24.719 --> 00:34:26.639
Yeah, especially for that amount of time.

00:34:26.880 --> 00:34:30.800
And from there, you obviously get your preferences and what station you want to get posted to.

00:34:30.960 --> 00:34:31.599
What did you put down?

00:34:31.840 --> 00:34:34.400
So we get to put four preferences.

00:34:34.800 --> 00:34:44.320
So I put Northern Beaches, North Sydney, Castle Hill, and Ride, I think it was.

00:34:45.119 --> 00:34:46.159
Oh no, Keringy.

00:34:46.239 --> 00:34:47.360
Kering was the last one.

00:34:47.519 --> 00:34:48.800
Back to the old stomping ground.

00:34:49.440 --> 00:34:52.559
And I got my second preference, which was North Sydney.

00:34:52.800 --> 00:34:54.559
So can't complain with that.

00:34:54.639 --> 00:34:54.880
Yeah.

00:34:55.039 --> 00:34:58.559
Some people got absolutely destroyed with their placements.

00:34:58.880 --> 00:35:00.559
But no, I was a lucky one.

00:35:00.800 --> 00:35:02.000
Yeah, yeah.

00:35:02.559 --> 00:35:06.800
And when we talk placements, this is like New South Wales wide as well, isn't it?

00:35:06.880 --> 00:35:06.960
Yeah.

00:35:07.039 --> 00:35:09.199
So they can send you anywhere they can send you anywhere.

00:35:09.280 --> 00:35:15.039
So you put down four where you want to go, but if there's a need somewhere else, you're gone.

00:35:15.119 --> 00:35:15.280
Yeah.

00:35:15.440 --> 00:35:16.000
You're just out there.

00:35:16.159 --> 00:35:16.480
Yep.

00:35:16.639 --> 00:35:19.039
Which happened to a lot of people, but of course, yeah.

00:35:19.199 --> 00:35:20.320
Yeah, luck of the drawing.

00:35:20.639 --> 00:35:21.920
Scored lucky.

00:35:22.719 --> 00:35:27.679
You do your march out of the academy, mate, head to your station for the first time.

00:35:27.840 --> 00:35:32.400
Run me through this first uh, you know, first walk into the station.

00:35:32.639 --> 00:35:37.039
Oh mate, the walk-in was daunting as hell.

00:35:37.199 --> 00:35:42.800
Um, so we get all our gear and we have to take it up to the station that day, straight from the academy.

00:35:43.280 --> 00:35:55.039
And I walked in and the cop at the front counter was a bloke that I used to go to school with that I broke his nose when I was at the private school.

00:35:55.280 --> 00:36:00.239
Um we had a fair few run-ins, and like the last one was a decent one.

00:36:01.360 --> 00:36:04.480
That pretty much got me out of got me asked to leave the school.

00:36:04.639 --> 00:36:08.480
So I've walked in nervous already, then I'm like, oh shit.

00:36:08.719 --> 00:36:10.800
Like, this is not gonna be good.

00:36:11.039 --> 00:36:13.360
So that that made me even more nervous.

00:36:13.440 --> 00:36:16.960
I'm like, shit, everyone's gonna start knowing about how shit I was as a teenager.

00:36:18.079 --> 00:36:18.880
Yeah, he was a proby.

00:36:18.960 --> 00:36:22.880
So he was two classes, two or three classes in front of me.

00:36:23.119 --> 00:36:24.639
So it's not too bady, not too bad.

00:36:24.800 --> 00:36:26.480
Yeah, he's got no leg over you or anything.

00:36:26.719 --> 00:36:28.400
Nah, thank God.

00:36:28.559 --> 00:36:41.280
Yeah, go yeah, and I'll tell you what, the funniest thing was on my very first day, like I was shitting myself.

00:36:41.440 --> 00:36:54.960
Like, it's like a school kid going into the big bit big boys club, open up the locker, I'm putting all my stuff there, and this older bloke comes out of the shower butt naked.

00:36:55.599 --> 00:37:00.079
And you could tell he like he was a crusty dude, like old school copper.

00:37:00.320 --> 00:37:03.039
I was like, what the f what's going on here?

00:37:03.679 --> 00:37:07.920
Anyway, he gets to the locker next to me, opens up his stuff, and he goes, Oh, g'day.

00:37:08.079 --> 00:37:10.000
I'm blah blah blah.

00:37:10.320 --> 00:37:12.400
And I was like, Oh, hi, I'm Ben.

00:37:12.559 --> 00:37:15.440
He goes, I got two words of advice for you for this career.

00:37:15.840 --> 00:37:17.519
I was like, Oh yeah, what is it?

00:37:17.760 --> 00:37:21.519
He goes, the first one is the greatest enemies from within.

00:37:21.679 --> 00:37:22.480
Remember that.

00:37:22.719 --> 00:37:24.960
I was like, gee, this guy's morbid.

00:37:25.199 --> 00:37:28.800
He goes, number two, always carry a drop knife.

00:37:29.280 --> 00:37:32.719
And I was like, what the frick have I just got myself into?

00:37:32.880 --> 00:37:35.280
And he's like, nice to meet you, have a good one.

00:37:35.519 --> 00:37:37.039
He was just scaring the shit out of me.

00:37:37.119 --> 00:37:40.880
But it worked, like you have a towel on at least.

00:37:41.119 --> 00:37:44.159
No, it was nothing, just but naked.

00:37:45.119 --> 00:37:49.280
Like I was I didn't know what was going on.

00:37:49.519 --> 00:37:51.280
Like in hindsight, that's so funny.

00:37:51.599 --> 00:37:52.639
It's just a stitch up, yeah.

00:37:52.719 --> 00:37:55.199
Yeah, probably were shitting themselves.

00:37:55.599 --> 00:37:58.079
But yeah, at the time that was Daunton.

00:37:58.320 --> 00:38:03.519
But yeah, so we kicked off first couple of days orientation.

00:38:03.920 --> 00:38:05.840
It was boring as hell.

00:38:06.239 --> 00:38:08.320
And then straight into it.

00:38:08.480 --> 00:38:14.400
Like my first proper shift was a night shift, and yeah, off we go.

00:38:14.639 --> 00:38:17.360
And you're uh a third wheel, are you still?

00:38:17.440 --> 00:38:17.840
Or was this?

00:38:18.079 --> 00:38:20.159
Yeah, so you're three up at first.

00:38:20.239 --> 00:38:23.760
I think it's for the first six weeks, pretty sure.

00:38:24.000 --> 00:38:30.400
So have you field training officer, their offsider, and then you and the then you in the back, just soaking it all in.

00:38:30.639 --> 00:38:37.599
Yeah, you're like a kid with your parents, just yeah, don't talk, yeah, just be seen and not heard for that first three up period.

00:38:37.840 --> 00:38:44.000
But yeah, the first night shift we had a we thought it was a murder.

00:38:44.239 --> 00:38:48.880
We rock up, now it was this dude in the wheelchair with a knife through his eye.

00:38:49.119 --> 00:38:49.840
Holy shit.

00:38:50.079 --> 00:38:53.599
He was dead, and so we had to hold a crime scene for that all night.

00:38:53.760 --> 00:38:54.400
He was dead, yeah.

00:38:54.480 --> 00:38:54.880
He was dead.

00:38:55.039 --> 00:39:00.880
Yeah, and um turns out it was a self-harm.

00:39:01.119 --> 00:39:01.920
Oh shit.

00:39:02.079 --> 00:39:04.159
He did himself in through his eyeball.

00:39:04.400 --> 00:39:04.880
Shit.

00:39:05.360 --> 00:39:07.119
That's commitment like again.

00:39:07.199 --> 00:39:11.920
Spoken about this on other podcasts in regards to trauma and blah blah blah, and seeing all that stuff.

00:39:12.079 --> 00:39:15.199
I know for a fact that you know they don't show too much in the academy.

00:39:15.679 --> 00:39:17.760
Yeah, we didn't have any exposure to stuff.

00:39:18.320 --> 00:39:24.719
Pretty wild, because again, they'll go back to the the 90s and the early 2000 cops, and they were going to morgues and had one bloke.

00:39:26.400 --> 00:39:28.079
Well, had one bloke participate.

00:39:28.239 --> 00:39:32.480
They're like the someone didn't turn up, so they're like, Oh, can you just put some gloves on and just hold this stuff?

00:39:32.800 --> 00:39:41.679
He's like, Oh fucking, it's going to be a cop, not a so is this the first time you're seeing trauma and I guess the the real world of policing?

00:39:41.840 --> 00:39:42.559
Like, holy shit.

00:39:42.800 --> 00:39:46.320
Yeah, it's the first time I'd seen that kind of level of trauma.

00:39:46.480 --> 00:39:54.320
It wasn't too bad because another crew had got there first, so everything was crime scened off, so it was kind of watching from a distance.

00:39:54.639 --> 00:40:02.079
And when you think it's a homicide, everyone's super careful about what you touch, what you touch, where you are, who's around.

00:40:02.719 --> 00:40:08.239
So yeah, we got to check it out, but it was it wasn't close to home kind of thing.

00:40:08.400 --> 00:40:13.360
It was being young, like I was end of my 21.

00:40:14.480 --> 00:40:17.119
So it's kind of cool back then.

00:40:17.440 --> 00:40:20.480
You're like, fuck, this is something new.

00:40:20.800 --> 00:40:30.960
So yeah, that one sometimes just escapes my memory because it was your first day, you're so overwhelmed, sensory over sensory overload.

00:40:31.199 --> 00:40:36.480
But yeah, it was the first time I'd seen a trauma-related death.

00:40:36.639 --> 00:40:38.880
Yeah, and self-inflicted too, suicide.

00:40:39.039 --> 00:40:39.920
Yeah, I couldn't believe that.

00:40:40.800 --> 00:40:42.960
I couldn't like when I got told, I was like, no way.

00:40:43.119 --> 00:40:44.800
Yeah, stab yourself in the face.

00:40:44.880 --> 00:40:46.320
Well, the eyeball.

00:40:46.639 --> 00:40:47.119
I know.

00:40:47.280 --> 00:40:49.039
I'm just thinking about now, like, holy shit.

00:40:49.360 --> 00:40:52.480
Yeah, it was that's weird.

00:40:52.639 --> 00:40:53.599
Yeah, that is weird.

00:40:53.840 --> 00:40:55.519
Just I don't know, make it easier.

00:40:55.679 --> 00:40:56.960
I don't know, drown yourself.

00:40:57.280 --> 00:40:59.039
I don't know, but probably don't.

00:40:59.280 --> 00:41:02.320
No, look probably just probably just keep kicking.

00:41:02.719 --> 00:41:03.519
Stay alive, yeah.

00:41:05.440 --> 00:41:06.719
It's gone dark quick.

00:41:08.159 --> 00:41:08.880
Yeah, right.

00:41:08.960 --> 00:41:12.480
So, you know, this is your first what is this first week on the job, would you say?

00:41:12.639 --> 00:41:16.000
Yeah, that'd be my that was my first shift on the road.

00:41:16.800 --> 00:41:18.800
So, yeah.

00:41:19.519 --> 00:41:21.119
Kicked off with a bang kind of thing.

00:41:21.199 --> 00:41:29.760
Yeah, like it wasn't exciting, it wasn't like a wild police chase or something, but that was kind of like, yeah, right, this is what we're doing, kind of thing.

00:41:30.639 --> 00:41:33.199
So yeah, and then everything just kicked off afterwards.

00:41:33.360 --> 00:41:34.880
And what about your first arrest?

00:41:35.119 --> 00:41:36.000
Do you remember it?

00:41:36.239 --> 00:41:40.719
Yeah, my first arrest was graffit for graffiti.

00:41:40.800 --> 00:41:53.599
Oh yeah, yeah, it was it was a funny shit bag, but he was graffiting up the trains when they were parked up down near down near Lunar Park, there's old train tracks that they saw trains down at.

00:41:53.920 --> 00:42:02.719
And um, we got a call in and my partner rock up, and this old this young fella's got, you know, the weed sprayers that you pump?

00:42:02.800 --> 00:42:07.519
Yeah, that full of paint, and he's painting it up with that, and I was like, that's commitment.

00:42:07.679 --> 00:42:14.320
Anyway, flick the lights on, he's done the Harry Holt, and I was I was keen ass.

00:42:14.480 --> 00:42:16.239
I was out of that car as quick as I could.

00:42:16.400 --> 00:42:20.079
Foot photos, got a good wrestle out of it.

00:42:20.320 --> 00:42:32.880
Old mate got absolutely shredded because it was middle of summer, and he was wearing shorts and a singlet, and we had a full-on wrestle on the ground, and he was he was gravelled rash, gravel rash from head to toe.

00:42:33.119 --> 00:42:45.119
Now, I remember one point tried to get into the fetal position, and what offside has ripped his legs out, but his knees, it was just brutal, all for a freaking graffiti, yeah.

00:42:45.679 --> 00:42:52.480
But as a young fella, as your first chuckle cussle on yourself, that was it was a good one.

00:42:53.280 --> 00:42:55.199
I like his name was Thomas.

00:42:55.360 --> 00:42:56.079
Oh, you remember him?

00:42:56.320 --> 00:43:00.159
Yeah, I remember him because he was just a regular was his art good though, nah.

00:43:00.400 --> 00:43:01.119
That was shit, yeah.

00:43:01.199 --> 00:43:15.199
So he deserved to get BMS, yeah, and he never stopped doing stupid crime, just like stupid shoplifting, tried to be a hard bloke and rob people and would end up getting flogged for it by the person he's trying to rob.

00:43:15.280 --> 00:43:22.079
Like he was just a terrible crook, yeah, but we're always dealing with him after that one, so yeah, remember his name well.

00:43:23.199 --> 00:43:27.840
So you obviously arrest him, take him out to the cop shop and run all the paperwork and blah blah blah.

00:43:27.920 --> 00:43:29.280
How'd you find that side of things?

00:43:29.519 --> 00:43:30.960
You know, especially over your career.

00:43:31.039 --> 00:43:33.840
I'm sure you arrested a ton of people over 14 years.

00:43:34.000 --> 00:43:39.039
Yeah, it was like it never for me, the paperwork sucks.

00:43:39.199 --> 00:43:39.519
Yeah.

00:43:39.679 --> 00:43:53.920
Like it's just it's it builds up, especially like I loved my proactivity, like getting out there and hunting crooks, and it's all well and good doing that, but the paperwork just builds and builds and builds.

00:43:54.239 --> 00:43:59.679
And mate, shout out to the current JD's coppers out there at the moment.

00:44:00.079 --> 00:44:13.199
Because I was I was chatting to a couple not long ago about their workload, and it's next level, even compared to when I was in, which wasn't that long ago, their workload is Yeah, everything's outstanding.

00:44:13.440 --> 00:44:14.400
Everything's outstanding.

00:44:14.480 --> 00:44:19.760
They've got jobs lined up, they've still making proactive arrests, they got their DV arrests.

00:44:20.480 --> 00:44:25.760
So I struggled back then, and it was our workload when I started wasn't that big.

00:44:25.920 --> 00:44:26.480
Yeah.

00:44:26.800 --> 00:44:44.239
But you get the hang of it, but still, it sometimes it's good where you've cleared everything off your workload, and sometimes it all just hits, and if someone wants to plead not guilty, you've got to do your brief of evidence and your statements, but then you still got to go out and copy jobs at the same time.

00:44:44.880 --> 00:44:49.440
So yeah, the paperwork's I think in any job, paperwork just sucks.

00:44:49.760 --> 00:44:50.800
Yeah, I'm surprised, eh?

00:44:51.119 --> 00:44:55.840
I know I know there's places in the United States where the cop doesn't do the paperwork.

00:44:56.000 --> 00:44:58.960
They do their statement, they go back to station and it's all offloaded.

00:44:59.280 --> 00:45:00.320
Yeah, onto uh civil.

00:45:00.480 --> 00:45:06.719
There's like some states in the States where the civilians or whoever's in the station, they take care of all that.

00:45:06.960 --> 00:45:10.239
All that and the the boys and girls are back on the street on the street.

00:45:10.480 --> 00:45:10.880
Logical.

00:45:11.039 --> 00:45:11.760
That'd be the dream.

00:45:12.000 --> 00:45:12.719
It is logical too.

00:45:14.480 --> 00:45:15.920
Cost money, it won't happen.

00:45:18.880 --> 00:45:21.280
I'll spend something money on something stupid.

00:45:21.760 --> 00:45:25.679
Who knows with that librarian as a police minister?

00:45:26.239 --> 00:45:26.960
Anyway.

00:45:27.760 --> 00:45:31.599
Now mate, uh was this your first uh first week on the job.

00:45:31.760 --> 00:45:35.199
How'd you go over the next how long how long are you at the station for?

00:45:35.519 --> 00:45:43.519
Uh I was at I was at that station for five years.

00:45:43.840 --> 00:45:45.199
Five years, yeah shit.

00:45:45.599 --> 00:45:50.400
So but I so I came in and out of plain clothes, went to an honest.

00:45:51.679 --> 00:45:54.800
So I was around the place, but on paper.

00:45:55.280 --> 00:45:56.480
I was there for the five.

00:45:56.639 --> 00:45:57.119
Yep.

00:45:57.920 --> 00:45:58.719
But yeah.

00:45:59.119 --> 00:46:03.199
But no, the the first year was that was pretty full-on.

00:46:05.519 --> 00:46:06.639
It was pretty funny.

00:46:06.800 --> 00:46:09.679
It's you say it's funny, it's probably not funny.

00:46:10.400 --> 00:46:20.719
People would give us shit when we got posted to North Sydney saying, Oh, the latte sippers, you're not gonna have any work, or enjoy early retirement, all that kind of crap.

00:46:21.119 --> 00:46:23.679
It wasn't crap, it was lattes are good out there.

00:46:24.320 --> 00:46:32.800
Can confirm, but one of my mates I graduated with, he got bottled at a shoplifter job.

00:46:33.039 --> 00:46:34.239
Well, three months in the cops.

00:46:34.320 --> 00:46:41.199
He went to a shoplifter and this guy had a wine bottle, just smashed his head open and made the claret and the blood everywhere.

00:46:41.440 --> 00:46:43.840
Poor Craig, he copped it good.

00:46:44.960 --> 00:46:48.079
And then that was a Friday, I'm pretty sure.

00:46:48.239 --> 00:46:53.280
I was working the day shift Sunday, and as we do, we all went for coffee in the morning.

00:46:53.760 --> 00:46:57.840
So he says, Yeah, three months in the cops, and the supervisor, there's two cars on.

00:46:58.079 --> 00:47:01.760
Supervisor said, Oh, guys, it's a bit weird that Craig got bottled.

00:47:01.840 --> 00:47:05.920
We all need to watch out for our officer safety, yada yada yada.

00:47:06.079 --> 00:47:07.039
We're like, yeah, whatever.

00:47:08.159 --> 00:47:11.679
Um urgent domestic comes over.

00:47:12.800 --> 00:47:17.039
One of the first car crew gets there, and they're they're talking to the suspect.

00:47:17.440 --> 00:47:20.880
So we're like, oh, we'll swing past, have a little geeze.

00:47:21.519 --> 00:47:24.559
Went up there, and there was this bloke.

00:47:24.960 --> 00:47:30.960
He was iced off his tent, like sweating, the foaming, all that kind of stuff.

00:47:31.440 --> 00:47:37.440
And I heard one of the cops there say, Oh, mate, you're under arrest, gave him the caution.

00:47:37.760 --> 00:47:42.480
So I'm like, hell yeah, I'll go slap the cuffs on this blow.

00:47:42.800 --> 00:47:45.039
Being the keen little probationer I was.

00:47:45.280 --> 00:47:57.280
Got the first cuffed on on the first wrist, then I've pulled his second hand down, and as the metals touched his wrist, I almost just exploded and just cut free.

00:47:58.159 --> 00:48:01.119
And it was on like Donkey Kong.

00:48:01.599 --> 00:48:07.679
So he's striked out and kicked one of the female cops who had a taser and dislocated her knees.

00:48:07.760 --> 00:48:11.360
So she's dropped like a sack of shit.

00:48:11.840 --> 00:48:27.360
We've got into a wrestle, got him on the ground, he swung out and punched my offsider, who was another female senior constable who she had a taser as well, and punched her in the arm, and it snapped her arm in half, like it just went flop.

00:48:28.400 --> 00:48:29.119
Fuck around.

00:48:29.280 --> 00:48:34.320
So he's on that super super ice power, yeah, super junky.

00:48:35.039 --> 00:48:37.760
But that was cooked because that was our two tasers out of play.

00:48:37.840 --> 00:48:43.280
So they're rolling around on the ground, understandably, like they'd been knocked up.

00:48:43.840 --> 00:48:48.000
So me and another bloke were trying to wrestle mate on the ground.

00:48:48.079 --> 00:49:06.000
There's a loose handcuff flying around, got a good little puncture hole in my hand from the swinging arm, and then I could hear the other cop was like on my shoulder, and I could hear him making weird noises and yelling, and I've swung my head across and he was getting choked out with his radio cord.

00:49:06.320 --> 00:49:12.960
So old mate had it was the old vest that had a zip, and then there would be a couple of buttons that clip it over.

00:49:13.119 --> 00:49:15.280
So we used to run our cord up that middle bit.

00:49:15.360 --> 00:49:21.760
Somehow we'd unclipped it, and he was just choking old mate out with his own cord.

00:49:22.000 --> 00:49:24.719
So that turned into a big dust up.

00:49:25.280 --> 00:49:28.719
Like we're punching the daylights out of him.

00:49:28.960 --> 00:49:36.559
He ended up latching onto me, biting onto my hand and just mauling my hand, which that sucked.

00:49:36.960 --> 00:49:42.320
Um ended up un opened up a whole can of OC spray onto him.

00:49:42.719 --> 00:49:45.519
But this was the inexperience straight up.

00:49:45.679 --> 00:49:50.559
I had him down on the like his throat on the ground by my forearm.

00:49:50.800 --> 00:49:54.000
So I was only what three, four inches from his face.

00:49:54.159 --> 00:49:58.960
I pulled the can out, unleashed it, and it's just come straight back on me.

00:49:59.119 --> 00:50:01.920
I was just dosed in it.

00:50:02.559 --> 00:50:15.039
Um looked like it was getting a bit compliant, so I've tr tried to get up and get his arm behind his back, and he's tried to jump up, so I've laid in laid into him again.

00:50:15.280 --> 00:50:18.800
And then by that stage, back up had turned up, which was great.

00:50:18.960 --> 00:50:26.320
Because what we didn't realise is all of us had called urgent on the radio, but we didn't know each other had called urgent, and then there was just radio silence.

00:50:26.480 --> 00:50:30.400
So I had four urgent calls with no response.

00:50:30.480 --> 00:50:35.199
So we had cops from all over the place, like literally everywhere, just coming.

00:50:36.400 --> 00:50:42.159
That was the best relief hearing those sirens coming, because we were gassed by the end of it, yeah.

00:50:42.400 --> 00:50:47.599
Like both with the actual gas and energy of it.

00:50:48.639 --> 00:50:59.440
But that that was the first real tassel, proper punch on where you realise things actually don't always go the cops' way.

00:50:59.599 --> 00:50:59.920
Yeah.

00:51:00.480 --> 00:51:02.880
Because you feel invincible as a young cop.

00:51:03.280 --> 00:51:11.119
And you think you know, most people would comply because there's cops, yeah, but obviously my's junked up and don't give a fuck about life.

00:51:11.360 --> 00:51:12.079
He was good to go.

00:51:12.159 --> 00:51:19.199
He broke broken his miss' arm upstairs, kicked the door in, and he was just a genuine piece of shit.

00:51:21.039 --> 00:51:22.320
Well, that's what people are saying.

00:51:22.480 --> 00:51:25.199
I remember going back to the stage, like you were justified in shooting him.

00:51:25.360 --> 00:51:27.519
I was like, that's the last thing that crossed my mind.

00:51:28.719 --> 00:51:29.840
Yeah, I would have plugged in.

00:51:30.400 --> 00:51:33.840
Maybe they should give cops uh knuckle dusters or something.

00:51:34.079 --> 00:51:36.320
I really I think that should be legal for cops.

00:51:36.480 --> 00:51:38.159
Or even those um knuckle dusters.

00:51:38.480 --> 00:51:40.719
Those gloves that you get, like the motorbike gloves.

00:51:40.960 --> 00:51:42.000
Yeah, yeah.

00:51:42.559 --> 00:51:44.960
Like Oakley have a good pair of yeah, they do, mate.

00:51:45.039 --> 00:51:46.960
They're there's a pair in the Amarok.

00:51:47.280 --> 00:51:49.519
I use them for mechanical work though for anyone listening.

00:51:49.679 --> 00:51:51.039
Yeah, you don't want to graze your knuckles.

00:51:51.199 --> 00:51:52.719
I just don't want to graze my knuckles.

00:51:55.440 --> 00:51:55.840
Yeah, right.

00:51:55.920 --> 00:52:01.360
So obviously that's your first, you know, rough and tough with it with a a cream junkie.

00:52:01.920 --> 00:52:02.320
Yeah.

00:52:02.559 --> 00:52:06.320
And i is there a bit of a a debrief on that?

00:52:06.480 --> 00:52:08.000
Like w how do you go from there?

00:52:08.079 --> 00:52:10.880
Do they Oh there there wasn't an official debrief.

00:52:10.960 --> 00:52:11.920
I remember I got home.

00:52:12.000 --> 00:52:13.199
So we had to go to hospital.

00:52:13.440 --> 00:52:14.239
Of course, yeah.

00:52:14.559 --> 00:52:20.480
Get decontaminated, and then I had to start that whole AIDS testing because I got bitten by a fucking junkie.

00:52:20.639 --> 00:52:21.119
Yeah, shit.

00:52:21.199 --> 00:52:21.840
How long was that?

00:52:22.000 --> 00:52:23.440
It was six months.

00:52:23.679 --> 00:52:24.559
I think it was six months.

00:52:24.960 --> 00:52:25.920
That's wild, isn't it?

00:52:26.079 --> 00:52:30.880
I had to get regular testing and then you're clear by the end of it.

00:52:30.960 --> 00:52:37.280
But the stress of it and being a probationer, you're just like just being a young bloke and someone goes, Oh, it's got to do these tests for six months.

00:52:37.440 --> 00:52:43.599
You're like, oh, what does this piece of shit have that's making me get tested?

00:52:43.920 --> 00:52:48.719
Um, but yeah, so I went home after that and my phone rang.

00:52:48.880 --> 00:52:55.119
It was a private number, picked up and it was uh commissioner, Andrew Scipioni.

00:52:55.679 --> 00:53:01.519
And he was like, Oh, I heard about the job at Mossman, and I was like, what the why the hell is the commissioner calling me?

00:53:01.679 --> 00:53:04.159
He's like, Oh, I want to thank you for what you did, blah blah blah.

00:53:04.559 --> 00:53:06.639
Gonna put you off accommodation, blah, blah, blah.

00:53:06.960 --> 00:53:07.760
Yada yada.

00:53:09.119 --> 00:53:10.880
Anyway, that blew my mind.

00:53:12.239 --> 00:53:24.559
I didn't I don't know, I guess I didn't understand the processes of when commissioners found out about stuff, and I didn't understand how bad it was when that many cops go to hospital kind of thing.

00:53:24.639 --> 00:53:25.679
Like, I was just naive.

00:53:25.840 --> 00:53:29.039
A young naive bloke was just like it's punch on, we'll go home.

00:53:29.519 --> 00:53:32.400
Um so I got pretty chuff with myself.

00:53:32.480 --> 00:53:37.920
I was like, it's pretty cool that the commissioners putting us up for an award.

00:53:38.079 --> 00:53:45.440
And then a week later, ended up with a complaint from the cops for excessive force against old mate.

00:53:45.679 --> 00:53:47.760
I did oh because he put it in, did he?

00:53:47.920 --> 00:53:51.679
Yeah, he's his legals put it in, and so that trumped any good work.

00:53:51.920 --> 00:54:00.320
So got investigated for the rest of my probation period for excessive force on this absolute rap bag.

00:54:01.360 --> 00:54:02.880
There's joys of policing.

00:54:03.039 --> 00:54:10.159
Yeah, you know, I've had that a a million times, and I'm sure there's a few purple folders out there to fill to the brim.

00:54:10.559 --> 00:54:15.360
Oh, the on my pigeonhole by the end, I think I'd only been like 12 months.

00:54:15.519 --> 00:54:21.280
Someone had put on my pigeonhole one of those printed things saying insert complaint file here.

00:54:21.679 --> 00:54:24.000
So they just kept especially been on the north shore.

00:54:24.079 --> 00:54:24.559
Yeah.

00:54:24.800 --> 00:54:28.559
A lot of it's got a lot of good people, but there's a lot of entitled pricks out there.

00:54:28.800 --> 00:54:30.239
They'll complain about everything.

00:54:30.400 --> 00:54:34.159
Like I got one for malicious damage for knocking on a door too hard.

00:54:34.480 --> 00:54:37.920
Uh intimidation as well for yelling at someone to get off the road.

00:54:38.079 --> 00:54:38.480
Yeah.

00:54:38.719 --> 00:54:48.800
So yeah, the complaints on the north side, they're through the roof because everyone, everyone's dad's a lawyer or cousin or uncle or yeah.

00:54:49.519 --> 00:54:50.239
But no, it's good.

00:54:50.320 --> 00:54:51.920
I've got a good little collection now at home.

00:54:52.159 --> 00:54:53.280
I'm sure you're not the only one.

00:54:53.440 --> 00:54:59.679
I've kept them all and they're all in a folder that I can just flick through and little history of my complaints.

00:55:00.079 --> 00:55:02.159
Now you spoke about the plain clothes stuff.

00:55:02.239 --> 00:55:04.000
You move into that plain clothes.

00:55:04.159 --> 00:55:04.960
What is this?

00:55:05.039 --> 00:55:06.719
Like a proactive policing type thing?

00:55:06.880 --> 00:55:08.159
Yeah, it's the proactive crime team.

00:55:08.239 --> 00:55:10.480
So the harborside PCT.

00:55:10.960 --> 00:55:18.239
Um, I was lucky enough in my pro towards the end, I got to do a rotation up with that squad, and it was really good.

00:55:18.400 --> 00:55:25.199
I the supervisor in charge of the team, he was a UC supervisor as well, so undercover.

00:55:25.360 --> 00:55:40.880
So we got to jump in on a whole lot of undercover jobs all around Sydney that we could jump into and do internal security for the UCs doing work and did a lot of work in King's Cross back when it was King's Cross.

00:55:41.840 --> 00:55:42.480
Good times.

00:55:42.639 --> 00:55:43.360
That was amazing.

00:55:44.320 --> 00:55:47.360
And as a probationer, I was like, this is the best job ever.

00:55:47.519 --> 00:55:56.079
Like we're cruising around in nightclubs, we're getting paid to get on the cans while we're like it was just a whole nother world.

00:55:56.159 --> 00:56:04.480
So I was like, this is great, and I loved the proactive side of policing, like it was just I clicked to it really well.

00:56:04.639 --> 00:56:15.039
I was we used to joke it takes one to know one, like we were able to pick where grubs would be or what how they'll do certain things and hide certain things.

00:56:15.599 --> 00:56:36.159
So towards the end of my probation period, a spot came up, a full-time spot in the proactive crime team, and so I I'd been working my ass off proactively, and it managed so pretty much as soon as I got my hook, I got hookers in your first stripe from firm constable.

00:56:36.320 --> 00:56:38.719
I got a spot up in the plain clothes team.

00:56:39.440 --> 00:56:40.480
So that was awesome.

00:56:40.559 --> 00:56:48.719
Like I that was the kind of policing I wanted to do, and that I loved, so I just I was amongst it, and I had good mates in the team.

00:56:49.039 --> 00:56:53.119
We were a small team, there was only five of us all up, including the supervisor.

00:56:53.360 --> 00:56:57.440
So we're a tight-knit team, and we just got amongst it.

00:56:57.519 --> 00:56:58.559
It was good fun.

00:56:59.039 --> 00:56:59.679
Loved it.

00:56:59.840 --> 00:57:12.880
Yeah, and I guess the you know, the positive of being that proactive, you're not stuck to a schedule like the GDs where they're you know responding like you know, we talked, we spoke about outstanding jobs, you're just going from job to job, whereas you're not a slave to the radio, yeah, yeah.

00:57:13.039 --> 00:57:22.639
Yeah, and we we ran our own as long at that time, as long as our end-of-month stats statistics were good, the bosses kept off our back.

00:57:23.039 --> 00:57:28.639
So we could just have a lot of fun and then work our ass off for two weeks, get those numbers up.

00:57:28.880 --> 00:57:39.760
As long as the searches, charges, and stuff were uh at a higher number than general duties, we're pretty much left alone.

00:57:39.920 --> 00:57:40.239
Yeah.

00:57:40.559 --> 00:57:41.119
Which was good.

00:57:41.440 --> 00:57:44.079
We had the unmucked car, we dressed like how we want.

00:57:44.880 --> 00:57:45.760
That was good fun.

00:57:45.840 --> 00:57:47.360
I I enjoyed that.

00:57:47.679 --> 00:57:51.119
So I was up there for about three years.

00:57:52.880 --> 00:57:56.400
Yeah, it was about three years, and went back to uniform.

00:57:57.440 --> 00:58:09.599
We got a new supervisor in, he was an asshole, and we had a conflict, and choice was well, there was no choice, you're back on the truck, so went back on the road straight after that.

00:58:09.840 --> 00:58:10.320
Yep.

00:58:10.639 --> 00:58:14.159
Is that proactive stuff 24-7 or is it Monday to Friday?

00:58:14.719 --> 00:58:18.719
No, so we're on a roster, so days shifts, night shifts.

00:58:18.880 --> 00:58:30.239
We'd try and do as many night shifts as the command would let us because we had main thoroughfares through the command, like the main freeways, the main road from the northern beaches.

00:58:30.400 --> 00:58:37.119
So we were able to get a lot of drug supply charges of couriers just running drugs at night.

00:58:37.519 --> 00:58:39.920
So yeah, we enjoyed the night shifts a lot more.

00:58:40.000 --> 00:58:42.960
But yeah, we worked on a needs basis.

00:58:43.039 --> 00:58:51.039
So if we had to spike in breaking edges in a certain area, we'd start doing taskings at certain times just on that.

00:58:51.119 --> 00:58:58.320
Or if we had operations we're running like controlled ops, it would always vary, but yeah, it was kind of like Jet E's, we'd cover as much as we can.

00:58:58.480 --> 00:58:59.119
Yeah.

00:58:59.519 --> 00:59:00.480
So yeah, it was good.

00:59:00.719 --> 00:59:02.400
What do you cruise around in just those?

00:59:02.960 --> 00:59:09.199
We had well, we had pretty free rain to muck around with our car, which was good.

00:59:09.760 --> 00:59:14.559
So when I started, we had a dark green VE Commodore.

00:59:15.599 --> 00:59:25.039
We put 5% window tin on it, which it was good, except at night time we couldn't patrol without the windows down because we couldn't see out.

00:59:26.079 --> 00:59:33.840
And then someone at work had a connection with this company that did emergency light bars for cars.

00:59:34.239 --> 00:59:45.199
So we were able to get a sleek one put into the front top of the front windscreen, and then we got the front windscreen the top half tinted so you couldn't see the light bar.

00:59:46.079 --> 00:59:51.280
And then we took all the antennas off the the car, and it was it was stealth ass.

00:59:51.599 --> 00:59:55.039
It just looked like a Bogan VE Commodore.

00:59:55.440 --> 00:59:56.400
That's how it should be, isn't it?

00:59:56.480 --> 00:59:58.159
Yeah, I don't think they're allowed to.

00:59:58.639 --> 01:00:00.400
No, they're quite strict these days, aren't they?

01:00:00.719 --> 01:00:01.440
We weren't back then.

01:00:01.679 --> 01:00:02.559
Yeah, of course.

01:00:02.880 --> 01:00:03.760
But that's how it should be.

01:00:03.840 --> 01:00:08.639
That's the whole point of blending into the populace and yeah.

01:00:08.800 --> 01:00:12.480
Like it that's yeah, that's playing clo that's the whole reason for playing clothes.

01:00:12.639 --> 01:00:13.440
Yeah, literally, yeah.

01:00:13.599 --> 01:00:15.039
Like just find yourself up.

01:00:15.360 --> 01:00:17.039
Because there's nothing like I do it all the time.

01:00:17.199 --> 01:00:22.719
You'll you'll be in traffic and you see a car behind you, like you can see the lights and the windscreen.

01:00:22.880 --> 01:00:24.079
You're like, what are you doing?

01:00:24.159 --> 01:00:26.559
I'm not I'm I'm not gonna get on my phone now.

01:00:26.800 --> 01:00:27.360
Yeah.

01:00:27.679 --> 01:00:32.320
I guess like the wouldn't you the command level plain clothes?

01:00:32.559 --> 01:00:36.800
Because you they're not undercover, they're just plain clothes.

01:00:36.960 --> 01:00:39.920
Like, there's no special training to be a proactive cop.

01:00:40.800 --> 01:00:50.639
I guess it's meant to just be a bit more subtle, general duties, but we would take it to the next level and we'd just be unrecognizable.

01:00:50.880 --> 01:00:53.679
It was yeah, we had a good team, yeah.

01:00:53.840 --> 01:00:56.639
Yeah, everyone was pretty young.

01:00:57.280 --> 01:01:02.480
There's nothing like seeing a 50-year-old wearing Nikes and cargo pants.

01:01:02.800 --> 01:01:05.119
And what what you you wearing pretty much what you mean now?

01:01:05.280 --> 01:01:07.519
TNs and Yeah, yeah, I was rocking the TNs.

01:01:07.679 --> 01:01:12.079
Well, and for the listeners, yes, I am wearing TNs, I don't care what you think.

01:01:13.599 --> 01:01:15.920
If I cared what you think, I wouldn't be wearing TNs.

01:01:16.880 --> 01:01:21.119
But no, I'd started wearing them for the plain clothes work in the cops.

01:01:21.599 --> 01:01:24.159
And then I realised how good they were as shoes.

01:01:24.320 --> 01:01:26.239
Yeah, yeah, the lads are under something.

01:01:26.559 --> 01:01:27.360
Like I rate them.

01:01:27.760 --> 01:01:29.360
I wear these Vapormax.

01:01:29.599 --> 01:01:32.159
Yeah, not like Vapo's.

01:01:32.239 --> 01:01:33.519
Yeah, yeah, I rate TNs.

01:01:33.760 --> 01:01:34.239
Yeah.

01:01:34.480 --> 01:01:41.760
Yeah, which you know that's again, that's what the SJ bars are, and and all the islanders, and that's what they're all wearing out in those.

01:01:42.320 --> 01:01:43.599
It's good and it makes sense.

01:01:43.760 --> 01:01:46.159
Generally, if you're a criminal, it's what you're doing.

01:01:46.320 --> 01:01:48.000
They crooked shoes like and red ones.

01:01:48.079 --> 01:01:50.239
If you've got the red ones on, you're a hundred percent a criminal.

01:01:50.480 --> 01:01:52.320
Well, my other pair, they're crooked shoes for sure.

01:01:52.400 --> 01:01:54.079
They're black with the red line down the front.

01:01:54.400 --> 01:01:54.880
Yeah.

01:01:55.840 --> 01:01:57.360
See, I'm not trying to impress anyone.

01:01:57.599 --> 01:01:59.679
I've got an amazing missus, I got my kid.

01:02:00.079 --> 01:02:02.320
Yeah, no, it's just it goes for comfort there.

01:02:02.639 --> 01:02:08.079
I've you know, I I do see plain clothes cops out there a lot, and you're just looking going, You're a cop.

01:02:08.320 --> 01:02:09.599
What are you doing?

01:02:09.920 --> 01:02:15.599
Or the the plain in the plain clothes cops that who wears a Billabong fucking t-shirt anymore?

01:02:16.559 --> 01:02:17.760
Plain clothes cops do.

01:02:18.000 --> 01:02:18.239
They do.

01:02:18.480 --> 01:02:19.519
I saw one not long ago.

01:02:20.000 --> 01:02:23.280
No cunt wears a Billabong t-shirt except for my fucking dad.

01:02:23.760 --> 01:02:25.920
Literally, I didn't even think of that, but you're right.

01:02:26.239 --> 01:02:27.920
I'm just like, no one wears that no more.

01:02:28.320 --> 01:02:28.719
You're a cop.

01:02:29.039 --> 01:02:37.679
What pissed me off the most is when you see pla young plain clothes cops out there, and if you're listening, this is to you not hiding their belt their gun.

01:02:37.920 --> 01:02:38.239
Yeah.

01:02:38.480 --> 01:02:41.519
It's like, look at me, look at me, but don't look at me.

01:02:41.760 --> 01:02:43.679
If you're gonna be covert, be covert.

01:02:43.760 --> 01:02:44.159
Yeah.

01:02:44.400 --> 01:02:48.239
If you want everyone to see your gun, go put your uniform on and be high visibility.

01:02:48.400 --> 01:02:49.039
Yeah.

01:02:49.360 --> 01:02:53.039
Like I'm not not down for the show on off your appointments if you're in plain clothes.

01:02:54.800 --> 01:03:00.400
I know, I think plain clothes and can you can you wear a IWB in the waistband?

01:03:01.440 --> 01:03:02.559
No, no.

01:03:02.800 --> 01:03:03.840
But people did.

01:03:04.079 --> 01:03:04.800
Yeah, I did.

01:03:04.960 --> 01:03:11.119
I'd especially when I moved into other sections, like when I went to Redfern Res or State Crime Command.

01:03:11.360 --> 01:03:14.639
We all most of us had the inside holsters.

01:03:15.039 --> 01:03:16.719
And that was brilliant.

01:03:16.960 --> 01:03:17.760
Yeah, of course.

01:03:18.000 --> 01:03:24.239
And because when I ended up going to State Crime, we got the smaller Glocks because we did more surveillance and covert kind of work.

01:03:24.480 --> 01:03:28.480
So I had a smaller Glock with an in-pan holster.

01:03:29.840 --> 01:03:30.480
Never see it.

01:03:30.559 --> 01:03:30.880
Yeah.

01:03:31.039 --> 01:03:32.639
It was just in there, just gone.

01:03:33.599 --> 01:03:41.920
So yeah, that I think at the time they were running training for you could do a ankle holster.

01:03:42.000 --> 01:03:42.639
Yeah.

01:03:43.280 --> 01:03:45.679
Which is pretty pointless with a Glock.

01:03:46.000 --> 01:03:46.639
It's too big.

01:03:46.800 --> 01:03:46.960
Yeah.

01:03:47.199 --> 01:03:49.519
Unless you got the small 42 or 43.

01:03:49.920 --> 01:03:52.159
Yeah, the the real little handbag one.

01:03:52.639 --> 01:03:55.599
And then they also had, I think they still rocket.

01:03:56.320 --> 01:03:58.480
The what's it called?

01:03:58.639 --> 01:04:00.159
Yeah, the cowboy one.

01:04:00.320 --> 01:04:00.960
Yeah.

01:04:01.360 --> 01:04:02.800
I don't know what the name of it is.

01:04:03.039 --> 01:04:04.320
What are they called?

01:04:05.920 --> 01:04:06.800
Shoulder holster.

01:04:06.960 --> 01:04:07.760
Shoulder holster.

01:04:08.000 --> 01:04:08.639
That's it.

01:04:08.880 --> 01:04:10.159
But you just look like a wanker.

01:04:10.559 --> 01:04:10.639
Yeah.

01:04:10.880 --> 01:04:13.440
Like it's that's another look at me, look-at-me, corner.

01:04:13.840 --> 01:04:14.480
Yeah, yeah.

01:04:14.639 --> 01:04:15.440
There's only.

01:04:16.719 --> 01:04:21.760
Unless you're like from, you know, a cop from the if you're a cop and you're like 65, 100%.

01:04:22.159 --> 01:04:23.360
And you've got a moustache, yeah.

01:04:23.440 --> 01:04:24.400
You've got to have the chop emotion.

01:04:24.800 --> 01:04:25.119
Done.

01:04:25.280 --> 01:04:25.519
Done.

01:04:25.679 --> 01:04:27.440
Or you're a tanky for the defense force.

01:04:27.519 --> 01:04:27.760
That's it.

01:04:28.000 --> 01:04:30.159
They're the only two people that can wear shoulder holsters.

01:04:30.320 --> 01:04:31.280
Other than that, you're a wanker.

01:04:31.519 --> 01:04:32.079
You're a wanker.

01:04:34.639 --> 01:04:34.960
Yeah.

01:04:35.119 --> 01:04:37.599
But yeah, definitely IWB inside the waist.

01:04:37.840 --> 01:04:39.920
I wore, I wore that a lot in Iraq.

01:04:40.079 --> 01:04:40.400
Yeah.

01:04:40.639 --> 01:04:43.599
A lot of places in Iraq could take, you know, ambassador for meetings.

01:04:43.679 --> 01:04:46.000
They wouldn't allow us to take in any fire.

01:04:46.159 --> 01:04:46.880
I was like, yeah.

01:04:47.119 --> 01:04:47.760
No fucking chance.

01:04:47.840 --> 01:04:48.719
I'm not a chance.

01:04:48.880 --> 01:04:51.360
This is the seven ends going straight down there.

01:04:51.599 --> 01:04:53.280
It's also like a bit of a comforter.

01:04:53.440 --> 01:04:53.679
100%.

01:04:54.079 --> 01:04:55.360
You got it in there, you're like, I'm good.

01:04:55.440 --> 01:04:56.480
If this goes to to share.

01:04:56.800 --> 01:04:57.679
Got something at least.

01:04:57.920 --> 01:04:58.559
Like I love it.

01:04:58.639 --> 01:05:03.519
Like I did the surveillance once through was it, Banksdown Centro?

01:05:04.079 --> 01:05:05.519
Like Gaza Strip.

01:05:05.679 --> 01:05:06.719
The Gaza Strip, yeah.

01:05:07.440 --> 01:05:09.920
I was so glad I had the impan holster in there.

01:05:10.000 --> 01:05:11.920
I was like, I don't want to get caught out here.

01:05:12.079 --> 01:05:12.400
Yeah.

01:05:12.800 --> 01:05:16.559
So yeah, that that's the plainclothes work if you can get one of those holsters.

01:05:16.800 --> 01:05:17.280
That's it, yeah.

01:05:17.360 --> 01:05:20.079
And no bilbong t-shirts or rip curl.

01:05:21.119 --> 01:05:22.800
Just wear what you wear on the weekend.

01:05:22.960 --> 01:05:25.280
Like, don't be nor yeah, be normal.

01:05:25.440 --> 01:05:27.840
Like people try too hard to Yeah.

01:05:27.920 --> 01:05:30.320
And if you're clean shaven, don't wear a bum bag.

01:05:30.559 --> 01:05:31.119
Don't do it.

01:05:31.280 --> 01:05:32.320
Because you don't do it.

01:05:33.039 --> 01:05:33.519
You stand out.

01:05:33.760 --> 01:05:35.840
If you're not used to wearing a bum bag, it stands out.

01:05:36.079 --> 01:05:36.639
Don't, yeah.

01:05:36.719 --> 01:05:38.000
Unless you've got TNs on.

01:05:38.800 --> 01:05:41.119
And it's a Jordan bum bag from Footlogger.

01:05:41.440 --> 01:05:46.800
And what I loved, I got to work, buy all these TNs and bumbags and stuff, and then put it on tax.

01:05:47.519 --> 01:05:47.840
Yeah.

01:05:48.400 --> 01:05:48.800
So good.

01:05:49.039 --> 01:05:49.440
Yeah.

01:05:49.679 --> 01:05:51.920
I don't think you I don't know if you can do it on tax anymore.

01:05:52.079 --> 01:05:54.800
Remember the last time I tried to do it, they said, Oh, you get an allowance.

01:05:54.960 --> 01:05:56.559
I was like, I don't get an allowance.

01:05:56.800 --> 01:06:01.920
And then somehow Proactive wasn't a specialised role, so it Rules against everything.

01:06:02.159 --> 01:06:02.320
Yeah.

01:06:02.719 --> 01:06:03.840
Just dressed like a normal person.

01:06:04.320 --> 01:06:07.519
Now, as you spoke about, you went back to doing general duties.

01:06:07.760 --> 01:06:08.079
Yeah.

01:06:08.400 --> 01:06:17.039
And how did you find going back from you know free range, free range policing to now back to outstanding jobs?

01:06:17.440 --> 01:06:18.400
Yeah, it was shit.

01:06:18.559 --> 01:06:18.880
Yeah.

01:06:19.039 --> 01:06:19.360
Yeah.

01:06:19.599 --> 01:06:22.400
I had like I I had a good team.

01:06:22.480 --> 01:06:28.719
Like I was put back on a pretty decent team straight off the bat.

01:06:28.880 --> 01:06:35.360
And my first shift back, I hit the ground running as well with a double suicide that hit me for six.

01:06:35.679 --> 01:06:36.239
Oh shit.

01:06:36.480 --> 01:06:36.719
Yeah.

01:06:37.360 --> 01:06:38.239
That was unexpected.

01:06:38.639 --> 01:06:41.599
I was put on station for my first shift back on station shift.

01:06:41.679 --> 01:06:44.000
So you were at the counter answering the phone.

01:06:44.480 --> 01:06:48.320
And we had a new boss, like an inspector, come to the station.

01:06:48.400 --> 01:06:49.199
He goes, We had a chat.

01:06:49.280 --> 01:06:50.400
He goes, Oh, you from Proactive?

01:06:50.480 --> 01:06:51.039
I was like, Yeah.

01:06:51.199 --> 01:06:54.000
He's like, I'll take, let's go for a drive and I'll show you.

01:06:54.880 --> 01:06:58.239
He said, You show me around where you'll get stats.

01:06:58.400 --> 01:06:59.199
I was like, Yeah, sweet.

01:06:59.280 --> 01:07:00.639
So I jumped in the car.

01:07:00.960 --> 01:07:05.599
Sunday night on the North Shore, nothing's going.

01:07:06.000 --> 01:07:08.719
Went to one of the spots we usually go to.

01:07:08.960 --> 01:07:11.039
I knew it was the car all fogged up.

01:07:11.360 --> 01:07:18.639
And um I remember clearly saying to the boss, I was like, oh you boss, we're on.

01:07:18.800 --> 01:07:21.679
Like, looked like they were punching billies in the car.

01:07:21.920 --> 01:07:29.599
And as we got closer, there was um a hose coming out from the exhaust pipe up into the back window.

01:07:30.320 --> 01:07:39.199
And I jumped out of the car, bolted, turned the car off, little green Mazda.

01:07:39.679 --> 01:07:46.559
And um I've looked over my shoulder and there was this lady out for the count in the back of the car.

01:07:46.960 --> 01:07:55.760
And um so I ran round to the passenger side, opened the door, ripped her out, and started doing CPR on her.

01:07:56.320 --> 01:08:06.559
Um the boss was between kept coming to the car, then back to his car because he didn't know the area.

01:08:06.719 --> 01:08:10.800
So back then we had A4, A3 maps of the command.

01:08:10.880 --> 01:08:12.960
It wasn't like you could look it up on Google.

01:08:13.440 --> 01:08:16.000
And then I was in such an adrenal rush, he's like, Where are we?

01:08:16.079 --> 01:08:17.199
I was like, I can't remember.

01:08:17.359 --> 01:08:22.720
I gotta remember what this park's called, and so he's trying to find where we are.

01:08:23.119 --> 01:08:31.520
And as I'm yelling back to the boss, because I didn't have a portable on me either, because I was just on station shift, so he's doing all the transmissions.

01:08:32.479 --> 01:08:38.960
I've looked and noticed there was a second person in the back seat of the car as well.

01:08:39.600 --> 01:08:40.399
I was like, shit.

01:08:40.479 --> 01:08:41.840
So I remember I yelled out to the boss.

01:08:41.920 --> 01:08:43.520
I was like, we've got another one.

01:08:44.000 --> 01:08:50.159
So I jumped up, tried to drag him out, but he was a pretty big fella, so the boss has helped me drag him out.

01:08:50.479 --> 01:08:54.800
So the boss started working on the bloke, and I was working on the woman.

01:08:55.199 --> 01:09:02.960
Um the woman came to but wasn't awake, like she was breathing, so happy days.

01:09:03.279 --> 01:09:10.640
I've gone over to the bloke, so the boss went back to do more transmissions to give comms.

01:09:11.439 --> 01:09:19.199
I've started working on the bloke, and I was I was just going through the motions just to say I did everything I did.

01:09:19.279 --> 01:09:22.960
Like in my head, he was like completely gone.

01:09:23.600 --> 01:09:30.159
And then as I'm going down to give him a breath, he it came to like a horror movie.

01:09:30.399 --> 01:09:42.079
Like eyes open, mouth open, it made it scared, and for years, like I still sometimes as I'm drifting off to sleep, see that.

01:09:42.560 --> 01:09:48.159
If I'm super relaxed, old mate, oh I was like, fuck.

01:09:49.439 --> 01:09:50.399
Like that.

01:09:50.560 --> 01:09:52.239
Yeah, that stuck with me hard.

01:09:52.399 --> 01:09:59.760
And I was like, I'm back in GDs, like this is not a good omen for my first shift back.

01:09:59.920 --> 01:10:00.560
Yeah.

01:10:00.880 --> 01:10:02.560
And then just didn't stop after that.

01:10:02.800 --> 01:10:04.720
That's epic though, they both survived.

01:10:04.960 --> 01:10:08.000
Well, uh whether if they're dead or not now, who knows?

01:10:08.239 --> 01:10:20.640
No, so the woman she made a full recovery, and the bloke, he passed away not long after his lungs just gave way.

01:10:21.119 --> 01:10:21.680
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:10:22.079 --> 01:10:24.079
The carbon monoxide.

01:10:24.399 --> 01:10:25.119
Monoxide, yeah.

01:10:25.439 --> 01:10:25.760
Yeah.

01:10:25.920 --> 01:10:27.840
Yeah, he just had too much in him.

01:10:28.159 --> 01:10:30.479
But she had just not enough.

01:10:30.640 --> 01:10:33.199
It was there were seconds in it.

01:10:33.439 --> 01:10:33.680
Really.

01:10:33.840 --> 01:10:39.680
We're talking to the doctors, and they're like, Yeah, there's not a big time frame for that to be fatal.

01:10:39.760 --> 01:10:40.880
So we're lucky.

01:10:41.119 --> 01:10:43.359
Did you get any answers or questions out of it?

01:10:43.439 --> 01:10:48.319
Like so it's because obviously you got an interviewer, don't you?

01:10:48.560 --> 01:10:53.199
Is that is that the process or well, because he ended up dying.

01:10:53.840 --> 01:11:00.079
I I was confused because it should have been a coroner's matter, but the hospital put it as a natural death.

01:11:01.600 --> 01:11:02.319
Yeah, right.

01:11:03.119 --> 01:11:04.800
I I don't know how that works.

01:11:04.880 --> 01:11:05.520
Yeah.

01:11:05.840 --> 01:11:21.439
Um, but what we found out because the family made contact with us afterwards and we got thank you letters, and it was pretty touching to get letters from the children of these this couple saying thank you for saving our mum's life and whatnot.

01:11:21.760 --> 01:11:35.680
Um, but long story short, he were they were both very wealthy people that lived, is what I've been told, but it was extremely wealthy life, their whole life revolved around money.

01:11:35.920 --> 01:11:42.640
And back then they got one of those scam Nigerian emails saying you've lost your super and everything.

01:11:42.800 --> 01:11:43.199
Yep.

01:11:43.359 --> 01:11:44.560
But they hadn't.

01:11:44.800 --> 01:11:46.159
But they panicked so much.

01:11:46.399 --> 01:11:50.000
Oh shit, they couldn't live without their super.

01:11:51.119 --> 01:11:52.319
That was enough for them.

01:11:52.560 --> 01:11:53.039
Wow.

01:11:53.199 --> 01:11:57.520
And they just went and did a tried to do a double suicide deal.

01:11:57.920 --> 01:11:58.399
Jesus Christ.

01:11:58.479 --> 01:11:59.840
It was extreme, isn't it?

01:12:00.399 --> 01:12:01.279
Very extreme.

01:12:01.359 --> 01:12:01.680
Yeah.

01:12:01.920 --> 01:12:04.399
Like and then yeah, they hadn't lost anything.

01:12:04.479 --> 01:12:07.039
So goddamn Nigerians.

01:12:08.319 --> 01:12:09.279
I undercapped.

01:12:09.520 --> 01:12:10.159
Yeah, it's yeah.

01:12:10.319 --> 01:12:13.199
I've yeah, I've become a billionaire a few times now.

01:12:13.439 --> 01:12:16.880
Yeah, or the amount of lotto's I've won except for my junk box.

01:12:18.720 --> 01:12:21.119
Uh yeah, I made so back to that GD life.

01:12:24.319 --> 01:12:29.600
And how'd you go in the last you know, year or so at that station?

01:12:29.840 --> 01:12:32.319
Busy just GD life every day.

01:12:32.720 --> 01:12:34.159
Every day, just GDing it.

01:12:34.319 --> 01:12:35.680
Just but I was loving it.

01:12:35.840 --> 01:12:36.239
Nonstop.

01:12:36.479 --> 01:12:47.840
It was non-stop, but I was young, so it was in your first five years, you're learning something new every day and seeing something new, but like there was some shockers.

01:12:48.479 --> 01:12:50.640
Jobs where I just was unlucky.

01:12:50.800 --> 01:13:00.319
Like, listeners will know some cops have a kissed on the tip with having a career where they can get through unscathed.

01:13:00.479 --> 01:13:05.840
Like, I worked with a bloke who didn't get his first deceased until he was eight years in the cops.

01:13:06.159 --> 01:13:06.960
Holy shit.

01:13:07.199 --> 01:13:10.399
And it wasn't he wasn't avoiding them, he just never was on when it happened.

01:13:11.359 --> 01:13:20.079
And then me, I just caught every everything major that could have gone wrong in that time frame.

01:13:20.720 --> 01:13:23.279
I was either there or the first car off.

01:13:23.439 --> 01:13:25.680
Like we had a horrendous one.

01:13:25.760 --> 01:13:41.840
I talked about this on another potty, so I won't go into too much detail, but domestic, we were the closest car, so we're pulling in, and there was reports of a bloke getting pinned up glass window, glass window of an apartment block.

01:13:43.039 --> 01:13:50.560
And as we pull in, old mates come through the window and splatter in the car park on the ground in Camaro.

01:13:50.720 --> 01:13:55.439
And it was one of those ones where the driveway I'm trying to show my hands, we're on a podcast.

01:13:55.680 --> 01:14:06.960
The driveway goes up and goes straight into the courtyard area, and he was there just completely mangled and still alive.

01:14:07.199 --> 01:14:08.399
How high was the drop?

01:14:08.560 --> 01:14:10.399
I think that one was the tenth story.

01:14:10.640 --> 01:14:11.439
10th stories.

01:14:12.239 --> 01:14:12.880
Yeah.

01:14:14.239 --> 01:14:21.680
Like literally his ankle was at his ear, his hip was in his chest, it was all it was a mess.

01:14:21.920 --> 01:14:24.880
But old mate was still alive when I ran over to him.

01:14:25.279 --> 01:14:33.600
And I tried everything to to keep him going, but like in hindsight, there's nothing we could have done.

01:14:33.920 --> 01:14:44.800
But it was I've that when you're with someone alive and you watch them die, it's a lot harder than just rocking up to a deceased.

01:14:45.119 --> 01:14:47.119
Like if they're already dead and you rock up and they're there.

01:14:47.359 --> 01:14:48.159
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:14:48.319 --> 01:14:48.960
Yeah.

01:14:49.680 --> 01:14:54.560
They're still bad to go to, but sometimes you have the forethought to disconnect.

01:14:54.640 --> 01:15:00.399
But when you're with someone trying to keep them alive and then they die in front of you, you feel useless type thing.

01:15:00.640 --> 01:15:03.920
Yeah, and it's just every detail is ingrained in your head.

01:15:04.000 --> 01:15:06.000
Like, could you overthink it?

01:15:06.079 --> 01:15:06.880
What if I did this?

01:15:06.960 --> 01:15:08.159
What if I did that?

01:15:08.479 --> 01:15:12.960
And so, yeah, that that was pretty fresh back on the truck again.

01:15:14.560 --> 01:15:19.920
And then not long after that, had a critical incident with another bloke over a balcony.

01:15:20.880 --> 01:15:23.199
So me and Heights aren't friends.

01:15:24.479 --> 01:15:27.840
It's had a shit run.

01:15:28.319 --> 01:15:28.880
That's for sure.

01:15:29.279 --> 01:15:29.920
Yeah.

01:15:31.039 --> 01:15:32.239
Jesus Christ.

01:15:32.479 --> 01:15:35.840
Yeah, it's like just talking about suicides.

01:15:36.000 --> 01:15:41.600
Look how many of these in your 14 years actually outside of the one year at uh band camp.

01:15:42.159 --> 01:15:44.800
Uh, you know, how many suicides do you reckon you dealt with?

01:15:45.039 --> 01:15:49.600
Just to highlight the successful suicides or just attempts?

01:15:49.840 --> 01:15:51.119
Just attempts in general.

01:15:51.359 --> 01:15:52.880
Well, you'd be going a couple a day.

01:15:53.119 --> 01:15:53.760
No way.

01:15:53.920 --> 01:15:54.239
Yeah.

01:15:54.479 --> 01:15:55.760
And all age groups?

01:15:56.079 --> 01:15:56.960
All age groups.

01:15:57.119 --> 01:16:02.960
Like I had the double suicide, they were in their late 80s.

01:16:03.279 --> 01:16:03.840
Yeah.

01:16:04.159 --> 01:16:16.159
And down to the point where I had a 12-year-old girl trying to jump off into the freeway.

01:16:16.239 --> 01:16:17.359
So that's sad.

01:16:17.760 --> 01:16:18.960
That's sad, yeah.

01:16:19.359 --> 01:16:23.119
Like another one young kid in year 12.

01:16:24.159 --> 01:16:27.039
This is when I was in my pro, I nearly shot his dad.

01:16:28.560 --> 01:16:32.479
Thinking he was a suspect, but he was stabbing himself in the stomach.

01:16:33.520 --> 01:16:39.039
So yeah, it's just rife and it's it's just a huge societal problem.

01:16:39.520 --> 01:16:41.119
Yeah, it sounds it.

01:16:41.359 --> 01:16:42.239
Sounds it.

01:16:42.479 --> 01:16:44.399
That who knows the answer to it?

01:16:44.560 --> 01:17:00.960
Because it's yeah, like GDs now, I reckon they're dealing with a lot more of it than when I was doing a couple of shift, like the just seems, yeah, especially social media and all that bullshit now that's online bullying, emphasized, all that stuff, yeah, exactly.

01:17:01.199 --> 01:17:07.760
Fuck man, like I get on social media and I see people dissing people and trying to fight online fight people.

01:17:07.840 --> 01:17:10.960
You're like, just live your life, why?

01:17:11.920 --> 01:17:12.640
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:17:12.880 --> 01:17:13.520
It's just yeah.

01:17:13.680 --> 01:17:21.119
So, like in go down to the kids' level where they got less of a filter than adults should have, they must be brutal on each other.

01:17:21.600 --> 01:17:23.520
It's like everyone wants everyone to feel bad.

01:17:23.760 --> 01:17:24.399
Yeah, I don't know.

01:17:24.560 --> 01:17:24.960
I don't get it.

01:17:25.520 --> 01:17:26.960
Definitely times have definitely changed.

01:17:27.039 --> 01:17:30.239
I I you know I dealt with my first suicide 16.

01:17:30.319 --> 01:17:32.960
One of my good friends committed suicide.

01:17:33.600 --> 01:17:39.439
And that was just a shock because everyone was just like, like it just wasn't this is the 90s.

01:17:39.600 --> 01:17:41.199
Yeah, 90s, late 90s.

01:17:41.520 --> 01:17:43.680
And just like, I don't know, it just didn't exist.

01:17:44.079 --> 01:17:48.399
Felt like it didn't exist, but now it just feels like every second kid's talking.

01:17:48.560 --> 01:17:49.600
Yeah, it's suicide.

01:17:49.760 --> 01:17:53.119
But I get I guess there's so much more on the news now.

01:17:53.279 --> 01:17:57.760
You know, every time you see something on the news now, like call fucking lifeline or call.

01:17:58.239 --> 01:18:00.640
So it's almost like throwing in your face as well now.

01:18:00.960 --> 01:18:17.039
It's such a touchy topic because you don't want to say people don't have the feelings they got because everyone's entitled to their own emotions and feelings, but then I feel like people are told to feel too much.

01:18:17.279 --> 01:18:17.840
That's what I mean.

01:18:17.920 --> 01:18:29.520
Like the the the yeah, like with my son, he'll he'll fall, he'll ax himself on something, and I'll wait for him to see if he's actually hurt or not.

01:18:29.680 --> 01:18:31.760
And if he's not, I'm like, You alright, man?

01:18:31.840 --> 01:18:32.960
He's like, Yes, yes, sweet.

01:18:33.439 --> 01:18:34.720
He keeps continuing.

01:18:34.960 --> 01:18:42.720
But then even the other day, I went to we had a doctor's appointment and he he smashed his head, and it was it's pretty funny.

01:18:42.800 --> 01:18:46.159
Like he ran into this war and he looked at me and laughed.

01:18:46.239 --> 01:18:48.800
And the doctor was like, Alright, let's unpack that feeling.

01:18:49.520 --> 01:18:50.079
No, he's good.

01:18:50.239 --> 01:18:50.560
He's good.

01:18:50.640 --> 01:18:52.960
He goes, No, no, no, but we need to.

01:18:53.199 --> 01:18:54.560
That was a big thing that happened.

01:18:54.880 --> 01:18:56.079
And I was like, nah.

01:18:57.359 --> 01:19:02.880
Like taking resilience away from people is dangerous to society.

01:19:03.119 --> 01:19:03.760
Yeah.

01:19:04.079 --> 01:19:09.520
Like resilience is what keeps us punching through in society.

01:19:10.000 --> 01:19:16.079
And if people are told not to well, that the thing is they're not being told not to have it, they're being trained not to have it.

01:19:16.159 --> 01:19:28.880
Yeah, everything's someone else's fault, or someone else can fix it, or I guess it changes for each person individually, but yeah, things are a lot softer.

01:19:29.359 --> 01:19:30.640
Oh, no doubt about it.

01:19:30.880 --> 01:19:31.840
No doubt about it.

01:19:31.920 --> 01:19:34.000
And I've you know I've seen it with my own kids.

01:19:34.640 --> 01:19:41.279
You know, they like you said, they'll stub their toe or something, or if you give them the attention, then they ball their eyes out.

01:19:41.359 --> 01:19:41.600
Yeah.

01:19:41.760 --> 01:19:43.119
And want all the attention in the world.

01:19:43.199 --> 01:19:45.119
And if you go, oh, just you'd be right, mate.

01:19:45.279 --> 01:19:45.520
You're right.

01:19:45.680 --> 01:19:46.720
I do it all the time, mate.

01:19:47.039 --> 01:19:53.199
And especially my younger one now, she'll she used to do it a lot because my wife used to pander to her and hug her and pick her up and blah blah blah.

01:19:53.359 --> 01:19:55.119
Now doing the mum, she'll do something.

01:19:55.199 --> 01:19:57.279
She did something the other day, hurt herself.

01:19:58.239 --> 01:20:00.479
And I just looked at her and just walked off.

01:20:00.720 --> 01:20:00.880
Yeah.

01:20:01.119 --> 01:20:01.920
And she was fine.

01:20:02.000 --> 01:20:04.159
Then she just continued on playing.

01:20:04.239 --> 01:20:10.800
But I knew for a fact if I was to go panda to her and just go, Oh, you okay worked up baby, and she would have cried, no doubt.

01:20:10.960 --> 01:20:11.279
Yeah.

01:20:11.520 --> 01:20:22.239
Like I'll give my son the op like if it's something really bad worth cry like I let him cry it out if if something you know when it's legit, yeah, exactly.

01:20:22.479 --> 01:20:29.119
Like you don't want emotionless humans going around, but you don't want them turning into Pussies.

01:20:29.279 --> 01:20:29.520
Yeah.

01:20:30.319 --> 01:20:33.039
Legit pussy cats, because there's plenty of them these days.

01:20:33.279 --> 01:20:36.960
I watched I I gotta tell I watched the funniest thing I'll send it to you after this.

01:20:37.039 --> 01:20:41.039
This woman was out at a shopping centre pretending you now they think the dog was the dog attacked her.

01:20:41.199 --> 01:20:41.840
The dog attacked us.

01:20:42.800 --> 01:20:44.000
I thought it was AI, but it wasn't.

01:20:44.159 --> 01:20:45.199
It was real, yeah.

01:20:45.359 --> 01:20:46.880
Yeah, well deserved.

01:20:47.279 --> 01:20:50.640
I saw barking in a shopping center saying you're a dog.

01:20:50.880 --> 01:20:51.920
The dog attacked.

01:20:53.119 --> 01:20:53.600
Big doll.

01:20:55.600 --> 01:20:56.960
Fucking good, good.

01:20:57.119 --> 01:20:59.439
But uh anyway, off track now.

01:21:00.720 --> 01:21:03.600
Yeah, so you're job to job.

01:21:04.159 --> 01:21:06.800
Just seeing things, doing things, yeah.

01:21:06.960 --> 01:21:13.600
Again, suicides to car crashes to arresting some junkie for stealing a hundred bucks worth of fucking tens.

01:21:13.840 --> 01:21:14.479
Yeah.

01:21:14.720 --> 01:21:15.920
Boy, they're more than a hundred bucks.

01:21:16.000 --> 01:21:17.039
180, 180 bucks.

01:21:18.560 --> 01:21:19.680
That's all they can stolen.

01:21:20.000 --> 01:21:23.039
Yeah, but yeah, so it it was starting to catch up on me.

01:21:23.199 --> 01:21:31.359
I had a critical incident where I was negotiating with a bloke on a roof and it all went to shit.

01:21:31.680 --> 01:21:33.039
He was off his rocket.

01:21:33.199 --> 01:21:37.520
I've gone in to to grab him because he was just incoherent.

01:21:37.760 --> 01:21:47.439
As I've gone in, a probationist tasered him, but the tasers malfunctioned, and it delayed about three seconds from when he pulled the trigger.

01:21:47.600 --> 01:21:51.920
And old mate, as I went in, he'd swan dived off the roof.

01:21:52.399 --> 01:21:58.800
But because it was a penthouse apartment, there was like 20, 30 witnesses that it looked like he got tasered off the roof.

01:21:59.119 --> 01:21:59.520
Yeah.

01:22:00.159 --> 01:22:03.199
In every point, it looks like he got tasered off the roof.

01:22:03.359 --> 01:22:07.359
So that that was a shit critical incident to go through.

01:22:07.680 --> 01:22:14.720
Um the interviews getting error like critical incidents just suck.

01:22:15.279 --> 01:22:17.039
Draining, it takes it out of ya.

01:22:18.000 --> 01:22:24.399
Um that started to really wear me down.

01:22:24.880 --> 01:22:34.640
And then after that, had another job of it was a bloke on a balcony with a knife threatening to kill his family.

01:22:35.039 --> 01:22:41.680
Had him at gunpoint, then he's dropped the knife, and then we got hands-on and he belted the crap.

01:22:41.840 --> 01:22:47.439
He was a big fella, like bodybuilder bloke, and he he he mucked us all up pretty good.

01:22:48.159 --> 01:22:58.960
And after that, one of my best mates was a sergeant out at Marubra at the time, and I used to work with him in the early days, he was like one of my main mentors, Tyrone.

01:22:59.439 --> 01:23:09.920
And um he's like, How about you come out to Marubra, get away from because at that stage I think I'd had three people off balconies, punch-ons non-stop.

01:23:10.000 --> 01:23:13.600
He's just like, you need to get out of that environment to sustain yourself.

01:23:13.760 --> 01:23:19.760
I was like, Yeah, it's and I think as a mate, he was just trying to get me closer to him so he could keep an eye on.

01:23:20.239 --> 01:23:24.000
He never said that, but I think he he was just looking after me.

01:23:24.159 --> 01:23:32.960
Went out to Marubra, and made that was a next level busyness that I hadn't experienced before.

01:23:33.199 --> 01:23:37.920
That was different different crimes or different scenarios?

01:23:38.319 --> 01:23:40.960
Same crime, but at a bigger level.

01:23:41.279 --> 01:23:44.960
So the house were more house.

01:23:46.720 --> 01:23:58.960
Um the alcohol-related crime at the pubs, like at Coodie Bay, there's a lot more, everything was just intensified, so it was very busy, but it was a good station.

01:23:59.039 --> 01:24:01.439
Like I made some amazing friends there.

01:24:02.159 --> 01:24:04.800
The culture there was really good at the time.

01:24:05.199 --> 01:24:11.199
It was a more old school, like it felt like you'd walked back in time going into that station.

01:24:11.279 --> 01:24:14.399
Everyone backed each other, the bosses backed the crews.

01:24:15.920 --> 01:24:20.720
It was it was fun, but I was just at my wits' end.

01:24:21.680 --> 01:24:24.159
Mental health had picked up on me.

01:24:24.239 --> 01:24:44.640
Like, there's lots of stuff we haven't talked about that's on there that's just I thought I was just fatigued, and then all these emotions, and I was starting to get panic attacks on my way to work, and I'd sit in the car opposite the police station and just physically not be able to get out of the car.

01:24:45.680 --> 01:24:48.640
And I was like, nah, that's I'm just tired.

01:24:48.720 --> 01:24:54.720
Like, I've I've only been in five years, like I can't have seen that much stuff, it's bad.

01:24:54.960 --> 01:25:06.560
Um and then I finally came to a head where I um had a breakdown in between night shifts when I was at home.

01:25:07.039 --> 01:25:11.279
And I went into it was something really minute that set it off.

01:25:11.439 --> 01:25:31.119
It was someone poured off milk down the sink, and something about that triggered something in my brain, and I had a blackout rage attack, and all I remember is crying on the ground of the kitchen and that was that was scary.

01:25:31.359 --> 01:25:38.479
I've never soberly blacked out before and like things were smashed all around the place.

01:25:39.119 --> 01:25:59.039
Um so word got out about that to colleagues, and I got put off sick leave to to get better, and that that was the hardest thing being five years in being told you got PTSD, and I didn't accept it.

01:25:59.119 --> 01:26:03.039
I was like, I I don't, it's just an excuse, I gotta get back to work.

01:26:04.159 --> 01:26:20.479
Um it wasn't until like a couple of sergeants I worked with came and visited me at home one day, and we're running through why I was off work, and one of them, he's like, You've seen more in your five years than I have in 25 years.

01:26:20.560 --> 01:26:22.640
He's like, You were a shit magnet.

01:26:23.359 --> 01:26:26.560
And I just thought it was normal, but I was just unlucky.

01:26:27.039 --> 01:26:31.359
Or too keen to be the first person at everything.

01:26:32.159 --> 01:26:38.000
Yeah, like I just love working, working, like I just love being a police officer, yeah.

01:26:38.159 --> 01:26:40.479
Like it was Yeah, that's the job, isn't it?

01:26:40.640 --> 01:26:44.640
Yeah, I couldn't believe I was getting paid to do this shit.

01:26:44.720 --> 01:26:49.279
Yeah, it was it was I didn't realise how damaging it could be.

01:26:49.520 --> 01:26:51.199
It's just cup overflowing, isn't it?

01:26:51.359 --> 01:27:00.800
It is, it just building and building, and then somehow off milk was like the final straw for that.

01:27:01.760 --> 01:27:09.119
So I spent about six months off work and I had to go to group therapy, one-on-one therapy.

01:27:10.000 --> 01:27:12.720
The group therapy was good and bad.

01:27:12.960 --> 01:27:39.039
Um it was a first responder group, and like those those are hit and miss because sometimes you support each other, or like some cops, it's a dick measure and competition on who's seen the worst thing compared to this person, or I should be here and you shouldn't, or if we start talking in the group environment, something you'd hadn't even thought of.

01:27:39.279 --> 01:27:42.239
Someone would talk about their experience and it would trigger another.

01:27:43.119 --> 01:27:44.640
So that was good and bad.

01:27:44.800 --> 01:27:51.039
I got some some good coping mechanisms out of it, but all I wanted to do was be back at work.

01:27:51.439 --> 01:27:55.199
Like I was bored, like I wasn't used to being bored, I'm not good at being bored.

01:27:55.520 --> 01:28:00.880
So just quickly, this six months off, this is all a police induced uh You know, they're paying for it.

01:28:00.960 --> 01:28:04.319
This is all part of first responding and that was under work work covered.

01:28:04.479 --> 01:28:05.600
Under work cover, yep.

01:28:05.840 --> 01:28:15.279
Um which I never had an issue with the insurance company or work cover because everything was documented pretty thoroughly.

01:28:15.359 --> 01:28:21.199
Like I had a good detective mentor when I was in my probation period.

01:28:21.760 --> 01:28:23.119
Um Shibble.

01:28:23.279 --> 01:28:26.640
She didn't she was really knowledgeable, she'd been the cop forever.

01:28:26.880 --> 01:28:29.600
She's like, just document everything you ever go do.

01:28:29.920 --> 01:28:31.760
I remember thinking she was nuts when she told me.

01:28:31.840 --> 01:28:37.920
I was like, why you why she's like, just have a book, just make sure you keep tabs of everything.

01:28:38.159 --> 01:28:44.479
And so when I did get crooked, I had proof of everything that had happened over the years.

01:28:44.720 --> 01:28:47.279
Even though it was five years, it was a lot.

01:28:47.760 --> 01:29:01.439
So yeah, straight up, it was just work cover dealing with insurance companies, and and it wasn't too bad because I from the start I just wanted to get back to work, so I didn't have any issues with that side of things.

01:29:01.760 --> 01:29:15.119
Um got cleared by the doctor, but he said um cleared to have my firearm but not do general duties.

01:29:16.239 --> 01:29:18.079
And I was like, I don't even know what that means.

01:29:18.239 --> 01:29:20.960
Like I'm a GD's cop.

01:29:21.760 --> 01:29:30.880
Um but through some connections, I was able to get a spot at the at State Crime Command at the Gang Squad.

01:29:31.119 --> 01:29:37.920
And when I got there, it was right at that time, it had converted over from gang squad to criminal group squad.

01:29:38.159 --> 01:29:48.640
Um, it merged a whole lot of units, like Asian crime, Middle Eastern crime, all that kind of stuff into the one big umbrella of criminal group squad.

01:29:49.039 --> 01:30:00.319
And I jumped in onto a strike force called Strike Force Kindra, which was one of the biggest jobs I think I'd it was the biggest job I ever worked on in my career.

01:30:00.640 --> 01:30:18.159
Um it was huge, it was cross-state operation with huge pseudo-ephagent importation, um Asian crimes, outlawed motorcycle gang, like everything you could think of was sprinkled into this one operation.

01:30:18.239 --> 01:30:19.920
It was it was bigger than Ben Hur.

01:30:20.640 --> 01:30:28.000
And I got to learn some absolutely amazing investigative skills from working in the team.

01:30:28.399 --> 01:30:30.239
So that that was amazing.

01:30:30.319 --> 01:30:36.399
And then the more I was there, the longer I the more I was like, this is what I always thought the cops would be.

01:30:36.880 --> 01:30:44.399
Like would be installing tracking devices, be helping the tech guys put in their cameras and their microphones.

01:30:44.560 --> 01:30:46.399
Like it was just the cool movie shit.

01:30:46.479 --> 01:30:50.319
It was the movie shit, yeah, and I was like, this is it, I love it.

01:30:50.479 --> 01:31:11.359
And then the longer I was there, the different strike forces I would get involved in, and it was just the next level of policing that you'd heard about, but you hadn't experienced, and it was in-depth investigation, so it was it's not like GDs where you lock them up, quickly put a fact sheet together and kick them off.

01:31:11.439 --> 01:31:15.279
This was deep digging, lots of surveillance.

01:31:15.600 --> 01:31:21.920
It was it was slow, but when shit hit the fan, hit hit the fan big.

01:31:22.000 --> 01:31:28.319
Like if we had a like a resolution day, it would wrap up the operation.

01:31:28.399 --> 01:31:28.960
It was crazy.

01:31:29.119 --> 01:31:33.920
There was doors getting kicked in, search warrants left, right, and center, and that was great.

01:31:34.000 --> 01:31:46.640
I was there for about a year, and then um it came down to having a full-time spot at the unit, and someone else got picked, which fair play.

01:31:47.039 --> 01:31:56.000
They had what the super wanted at the time, but I was gutted because that was yeah, that would that was the cool shit.

01:31:56.319 --> 01:31:56.880
That was the cool shit.

01:31:58.479 --> 01:31:59.680
That's what I'd aimed.

01:32:00.079 --> 01:32:04.800
That was like the end goal kind of position in your career, and I got there pretty quick.

01:32:05.920 --> 01:32:09.760
And it would just so yeah, wrapped up there.

01:32:09.840 --> 01:32:24.319
I think it was Christmas Eve, and like it was sad to go, but the team put on shindig to go, and I got presented Thai and farewell gift and all that kind of stuff.

01:32:24.399 --> 01:32:30.159
So it was good to be appreciated by the team, which you don't get in General Duties.

01:32:31.359 --> 01:32:38.560
Like General Duties are the most underappreciated squad, of course, because they're just expected to be there, yeah.

01:32:38.800 --> 01:32:41.680
As long as there's blue there, there's no face to it.

01:32:41.920 --> 01:32:43.199
They're the most important squad, too.

01:32:43.279 --> 01:32:46.560
They're the first at everything, they cop the most amount of shit.

01:32:47.039 --> 01:32:52.319
But yeah, so it was one of those other times where it's like, yeah, you're back on the truck.

01:32:52.640 --> 01:33:00.880
So Christmas Eve, I finished at State Crime, and New Year's Eve was my first shift back in uniform.

01:33:01.039 --> 01:33:04.000
So this is first time back as uh GD officer?

01:33:04.239 --> 01:33:08.800
Yeah, so first time back in uniform for nearly two years.

01:33:08.960 --> 01:33:09.600
Yep.

01:33:10.640 --> 01:33:13.520
And New Year's Eve was pretty uneventful for me.

01:33:14.479 --> 01:33:20.000
I was just the supervisor assist, so I just cruised around with the sergeant.

01:33:21.039 --> 01:33:28.720
And then had a couple of days off, and then first day shift back, I went in early.

01:33:28.800 --> 01:33:33.279
No, so my first shift on team was a night shift again.

01:33:34.000 --> 01:33:48.239
And I went in early because I had paperwork to wrap up from state crime, and over the radio it came over as an active shooter at Westfield at Chatswood, and back then that was pretty unheard of.

01:33:48.319 --> 01:33:56.560
It wasn't as well trained for as it is now and knowledgeable, and I was like, that doesn't happen, so I'm just sitting there doing my work.

01:33:56.960 --> 01:34:19.039
Anyway, a few more jobs come in from different informants that three Middle Eastern men had been seen with handguns running through Westfield, and then security at Westfield came called over, and they've got footage of the blokes running around with guns, so like, geez, it's game on, like, no duff.

01:34:19.520 --> 01:34:32.880
So Westfield's just around the corner, so and I didn't know anyone that was on that team, so I just ran across the road, ran to the shops, and I was lucky enough to team up with the car crews that turned up.

01:34:32.960 --> 01:34:35.680
We've run in and we're getting updates.

01:34:36.399 --> 01:34:50.479
We'll manage to corner these absolute little dickheads, but they had it painted toy guns to make them look like real guns, and we're running around Westfield pretending they were real small arms.

01:34:51.039 --> 01:34:53.600
I don't know how nobody got shot.

01:34:53.840 --> 01:35:13.760
Like you look even look at the CC TV, and I came around one end, and my mate Scotty McVicar came around the other side, and on the footage, one of the kids is so scared he turns around and nearly points it directly at I just would have been fucked.

01:35:14.079 --> 01:35:16.640
Yeah, I remember seeing on uh on the news.

01:35:16.880 --> 01:35:21.920
Yeah, yeah, it was all over the place because it was just unbelievable.

01:35:22.319 --> 01:35:24.079
What did they say after they got arrested?

01:35:24.319 --> 01:35:24.720
Nothing.

01:35:24.880 --> 01:35:28.000
They just they'll they'll from Just thought it was normal.

01:35:28.239 --> 01:35:36.319
They were out Westy Boys, they'd dealt with cops a heap of times, closed lip, and they're all kids, so they got a huge caution.

01:35:37.520 --> 01:35:40.159
Like that police response, that chaos.

01:35:40.399 --> 01:35:48.800
Yeah, plus there was families around like it was the afternoon trauma of all these people seeing cops sc screaming in the house.

01:35:49.039 --> 01:35:54.000
We were screaming, like it was yeah, there's no friendly gets on the ground kind of thing there.

01:35:54.720 --> 01:35:55.520
That's what again.

01:35:55.600 --> 01:35:57.520
I was like, oh, back to GDs.

01:35:58.640 --> 01:36:00.319
Shit's happening again.

01:36:02.399 --> 01:36:06.880
That was fun, like it was a it was fun because it was a good result in the end.

01:36:07.119 --> 01:36:08.319
Yeah, of course, yeah.

01:36:08.479 --> 01:36:11.680
Yeah, you get the adrenaline rush, you get the guns out.

01:36:11.920 --> 01:36:12.640
That's it, mate.

01:36:12.720 --> 01:36:15.039
That's fucking the novelty, you know.

01:36:15.680 --> 01:36:19.840
The last few months we've had uh Bondi, and you know that's that's changed the game on everything.

01:36:20.159 --> 01:36:21.039
See how bad it can be.

01:36:21.199 --> 01:36:22.319
Yeah, exactly right, mate.

01:36:22.479 --> 01:36:23.439
Exactly right.

01:36:24.479 --> 01:36:32.399
Now, back to your first week, so you straight chip magnet straight back into it.

01:36:32.880 --> 01:36:41.439
Uh back into the regular jobs, and then uh not only you do a bit of policing, you do a bit of uh a bit of firefighting, some would say.

01:36:44.079 --> 01:36:47.279
I'd tell you what, I'd I should have been a firery.

01:36:47.680 --> 01:36:49.279
Yeah, that's the best gig.

01:36:49.359 --> 01:36:49.520
Yeah.

01:36:49.760 --> 01:36:52.159
Any young players out there if you're tossing up between the two.

01:36:52.399 --> 01:36:53.520
Yeah, the recruiting out too.

01:36:53.600 --> 01:36:55.199
I'm actually in New South Wales, yeah.

01:36:55.359 --> 01:36:56.000
Definitely apply.

01:36:56.239 --> 01:36:56.880
Go for fires.

01:36:57.279 --> 01:36:59.680
Tick that you wear a dress on the weekend, you'll get the job.

01:37:01.520 --> 01:37:02.319
Diversity.

01:37:02.479 --> 01:37:02.800
Yeah.

01:37:02.960 --> 01:37:06.079
Um, but yeah, it was a night shift.

01:37:06.399 --> 01:37:08.640
Done a quiet, it was a winter night shift.

01:37:08.800 --> 01:37:09.199
Remember it?

01:37:09.279 --> 01:37:11.439
Because I was still wearing my leather jacket back then.

01:37:11.920 --> 01:37:15.439
And a job comes over, nursing home on fire.

01:37:16.159 --> 01:37:17.920
Like, ooh, that's not good.

01:37:18.880 --> 01:37:24.319
Anyway, I grabbed my partner, I was like, we need to get out to this nursing home at Linfield.

01:37:25.119 --> 01:37:29.039
We flew up there, and the jobs were coming over thick and thin for it.

01:37:29.119 --> 01:37:30.800
It was getting bigger and bigger.

01:37:31.840 --> 01:37:35.840
And we rock up, no fire is on scene.

01:37:36.079 --> 01:37:37.600
We were the first car on scene.

01:37:37.760 --> 01:37:38.960
I was like, shit.

01:37:39.760 --> 01:37:59.199
Bolted up this long driveway, and you could see which building it was coming out of because it was just bellowing black smoke out the entry, and I've got no fire training or fire experience, so I've tried to run in, and it was the thickest smoke you could think, like it just hurt and was hot.

01:38:00.880 --> 01:38:11.680
I've backed out, and two other officers had just rocked up as well, um, Chris and Amelia, and credit to them.

01:38:11.760 --> 01:38:24.000
All three of us tried to go in another two times together, which good on them, like they could have easily done what my partner did and stayed further down.

01:38:24.079 --> 01:38:25.840
It's probably a smart idea.

01:38:26.880 --> 01:38:37.359
I believe should have stayed with my partner, but um so we couldn't get in the front, so we've run around the back and we couldn't see two inches in front of us, it was so thick.

01:38:38.880 --> 01:38:47.039
And I've smashed a window that someone was screaming out of.

01:38:47.119 --> 01:38:49.039
So I've smashed that in with my batten.

01:38:49.600 --> 01:38:51.920
I remember another cop had turned up, so they dealt with that.

01:38:52.000 --> 01:38:58.399
I've run round the other side and the flames were just pissing out.

01:38:58.720 --> 01:39:09.039
Um one of the offsiders grabbed a ladder from over the fence, started grabbing an old bloke out top level, so we managed to get him down.

01:39:09.520 --> 01:39:15.119
Um I started working on the fire with this garden hose.

01:39:15.680 --> 01:39:17.680
It was just the body worn.

01:39:17.840 --> 01:39:19.279
I remember watching it, it was hilarious.

01:39:20.720 --> 01:39:38.159
Watching this cop trying to put out a building fire with a hose, and then the fires had rocked up, and they didn't know I was on the other side, and they've blown their jet through the window, and I got absolutely shrapneled with glass, like it just shattered out all over me.

01:39:38.720 --> 01:40:00.239
Um, we've run back around to see if there's anyone else that needs help, and Amelia, my offsider, could hear someone upstairs screaming for help, and it was a 93-year-old bloke who was blind and stuck in his bathroom, and I was he was close to gone.

01:40:00.479 --> 01:40:04.800
So we managed to get the fireys up there to get him out.

01:40:05.199 --> 01:40:24.319
I then got another bloke out of another window through the with a ladder, and I'd I hate heights after all the the the height jobs before, but somehow got up there, and once I was at the top of the ladder, I was sort of shot myself, I'll be honest.

01:40:24.479 --> 01:40:27.199
Like, I hate fire and water and heights, yeah.

01:40:27.520 --> 01:40:31.439
And there was two of them in one, so that that was not fun.

01:40:32.399 --> 01:40:40.399
Uh so we got them out, fire is then got the fire out, cleared the building, were able to count how many people would saved.

01:40:40.960 --> 01:40:43.279
And like the team did an amazing job for that.

01:40:43.439 --> 01:40:45.199
Like, everyone had a part.

01:40:46.079 --> 01:40:49.359
There were people doing stuff I didn't even know were there on the day.

01:40:49.760 --> 01:40:55.840
There's also people there that claimed they did stuff on the day that did jack shit on the day, but it is what it is.

01:40:56.079 --> 01:41:00.800
Um it wasn't long after the fire actually got out.

01:41:00.960 --> 01:41:03.760
Amelia turned to me, she's like, I'm feeling pretty crook.

01:41:04.079 --> 01:41:06.560
I'm like, Yeah, I don't feel too well either.

01:41:06.880 --> 01:41:09.359
I was like, let's let's walk out the front.

01:41:09.680 --> 01:41:15.680
And as we got out the front, Amelia's just collapsed, passed out, and then it's hit me and Chris as well.

01:41:15.840 --> 01:41:32.319
Like, I the smoke inhalation sickness is something it's really I'd never had it before, and I've never had it after, but it's like this shock and feeling like it was we all got struck down with it almost at the exact same time.

01:41:32.399 --> 01:41:48.239
So it showed we'd got there at the same time to the job, and we're lucky because there was ambulances lined up ready for all the residents, and we just got bottled into an ambulance, gassed up, flushed out, spent the night in hospital for that.

01:41:48.880 --> 01:41:59.760
And that one that went bigger than Ben Her on the media, which was pretty embarrassing because it was I don't know, it was a media hype up.

01:41:59.840 --> 01:42:02.000
I think the cops just needed some good publicity, yeah.

01:42:02.079 --> 01:42:11.680
Of course, it was it wasn't as big as the media says it was, it never is, but it was good money.

01:42:11.760 --> 01:42:17.279
We got called in for a cancelled rest to be interviewed, so I only did it because cancelled rest is good money.

01:42:17.439 --> 01:42:17.760
Yeah, yeah.

01:42:18.000 --> 01:42:19.520
Like, oh, there's gonna be a news crew.

01:42:19.600 --> 01:42:20.000
Can you come in?

01:42:20.079 --> 01:42:22.560
I was like, nah, like, oh, it's cancelled rest.

01:42:22.720 --> 01:42:27.359
I was like, I'll see you in 20 minutes, and all of us turned up, which was good.

01:42:27.600 --> 01:43:14.640
So we got interviewed there on channel 10, channel 9, channel 7, and then a couple days later, we had another call saying that we're gonna get interviewed on 2GB with Ben Fordham, and it kind of turned into a media circus, like we kind of just felt like pawns for recruitment kind of thing, and it it didn't sit well because a couple of months before our team had had a similar job where the guys did the exact same thing, and there was no recognition, there was no nothing, it was just get on with the job, so it felt bad having that much attention, and then it was at local papers, and then people started sending stuff to the I don't know, it got ridiculous.

01:43:14.880 --> 01:43:40.319
It was nice to be the acknowledgement that we did something, but there's a point where it goes too far, yeah, it's embarrassing, it turns political, yeah, and we could see at first it wasn't, but then when it started getting shared for days on end by different media outlets, like it went for days, and we're like, nah, it's a political level.

01:43:40.479 --> 01:43:44.079
There's shit happening in the world a lot bigger than a Linfield Nurse and Home Fire.

01:43:45.039 --> 01:43:48.079
But yeah, so that one went pretty nuts.

01:43:48.960 --> 01:43:53.279
So yeah, that was my little firefighter the whole time.

01:43:53.760 --> 01:43:58.079
Yeah, I don't know where I ended up after that.

01:43:58.239 --> 01:43:59.680
The thing's kind of all blurred.

01:44:00.000 --> 01:44:01.359
What station are you at at this stage?

01:44:01.520 --> 01:44:04.800
So there I went to Chatswood station after state crime.

01:44:04.960 --> 01:44:05.600
Yep.

01:44:05.920 --> 01:44:09.680
So North Sydney and Chatswood ended up merging together as one.

01:44:09.840 --> 01:44:14.319
So that's why I picked to go back there because I knew the area.

01:44:14.560 --> 01:44:16.399
I knew most of the people there.

01:44:16.800 --> 01:44:21.039
So it seemed like a logical place to go.

01:44:21.439 --> 01:44:22.079
Yeah.

01:44:22.560 --> 01:44:24.319
But shit just kept happening.

01:44:24.640 --> 01:44:26.640
And yeah, how long are you in the police now?

01:44:26.800 --> 01:44:27.840
This six, seven years?

01:44:28.079 --> 01:44:30.479
Probably about seven years at that stage.

01:44:30.880 --> 01:44:34.800
And you're uh senior constable, yeah, yeah, senior Connie.

01:44:36.079 --> 01:44:45.680
So by that stage, I just started doing like relieving acting sergeant role.

01:44:46.000 --> 01:44:50.560
Um at that stage it was very here and there, not all the time.

01:44:50.640 --> 01:44:51.119
So it was good.

01:44:51.199 --> 01:44:55.760
I got to be on the road and do supervising stuff on the road at the same time.

01:44:56.399 --> 01:44:58.560
Um, then COVID hit.

01:44:59.439 --> 01:45:02.000
We got the spicy flu then came in, I'm pretty sure.

01:45:02.239 --> 01:45:05.439
Yeah, so that comes what 2021, 21.

01:45:05.680 --> 01:45:08.560
Yeah, so in between that, it was just GD's life.

01:45:08.720 --> 01:45:09.119
Yep.

01:45:09.359 --> 01:45:25.840
Just like JDs are doing now, just job to job, working their their ringer off as best they can, dodging politics, copping politics, brawls, domestics, suicides, just the regular GD life.

01:45:26.000 --> 01:45:35.119
The JD life, like it's it's wild that you would you know, we call this well, you know, for you guys, you could you call it a regular regular shift life.

01:45:35.520 --> 01:45:36.640
It's just the regular shift.

01:45:36.880 --> 01:45:41.600
I think in that time I had I did three separate CPRs on people.

01:45:43.039 --> 01:45:48.319
So two were suicides and one was a heart attack.

01:45:49.199 --> 01:45:52.000
So that that hit pretty hard, those ones.

01:45:53.279 --> 01:45:56.880
But yeah, it kind of just blends into that's GDs.

01:45:57.520 --> 01:46:01.199
You know, I mean, like you get a call, you get a job, you're like, oh fuck, not again.

01:46:02.239 --> 01:46:04.880
The last one that I cannot be like on.

01:46:04.960 --> 01:46:10.000
I'll I was sitting there in the car, I was by myself as an alpha unit, and I've just gone again.

01:46:10.319 --> 01:46:10.880
Another one.

01:46:10.960 --> 01:46:11.279
Yeah.

01:46:11.520 --> 01:46:15.199
And I was literally in the street where it happened, so I was like, I can't avoid this one.

01:46:15.439 --> 01:46:15.600
Yeah.

01:46:15.840 --> 01:46:19.039
What's a what's a what's a just a side quest here?

01:46:19.359 --> 01:46:22.560
Like the wildest job that's come over.

01:46:22.720 --> 01:46:23.279
I don't know.

01:46:23.760 --> 01:46:24.640
Wildest.

01:46:24.880 --> 01:46:29.359
Naked dude run down the street that's ice junky or which I don't know.

01:46:29.520 --> 01:46:32.319
Well, it's been a fair dude running around.

01:46:32.560 --> 01:46:33.119
I don't know.

01:46:33.279 --> 01:46:34.239
Just something weird.

01:46:34.399 --> 01:46:35.920
Weird and just like, what?

01:46:36.479 --> 01:46:37.359
Never heard that before.

01:46:37.439 --> 01:46:39.039
That's a boat jacking.

01:46:39.199 --> 01:46:40.399
Instead of a carjacking.

01:46:40.640 --> 01:46:41.279
A boat jacking.

01:46:41.439 --> 01:46:47.199
This bloke pulled up to this boat one night on a tinny and robbed the bloke who was driving the boat.

01:46:47.279 --> 01:46:50.079
It was like a Yeah.

01:46:50.239 --> 01:46:50.640
Yeah.

01:46:50.800 --> 01:46:53.279
And it was good because we didn't have to deal with it because it's water.

01:46:54.399 --> 01:46:57.199
Oh, we went down there and I was like, boat jacking.

01:46:57.439 --> 01:46:58.960
Never heard of a boat jacking.

01:47:00.399 --> 01:47:03.119
That was weird, but it all blends into one.

01:47:03.359 --> 01:47:24.479
Like people, once you think you're surprised and you've seen the weirdest thing, something else pops up, some other rando will come along and just trump trumpet with something weird, like we had a woman in custody once that pulled a discman, like CD discman out of herself while she was in the dock.

01:47:25.119 --> 01:47:28.079
She just for some reason stored it up in there.

01:47:28.720 --> 01:47:32.640
That's a big that's a big like it's the old CD discman.

01:47:34.000 --> 01:47:36.880
Like that's something you just go, what the f that's talent.

01:47:37.199 --> 01:47:38.159
What would you think of that?

01:47:38.319 --> 01:47:40.720
Like it just doesn't even cross your logical mind.

01:47:40.960 --> 01:47:42.640
Yeah, yeah, well exactly right.

01:47:43.119 --> 01:47:44.000
What would you like?

01:47:44.079 --> 01:47:45.359
I'm sure it doesn't work anymore.

01:47:45.520 --> 01:47:45.760
Yeah.

01:47:45.920 --> 01:47:46.399
I don't know.

01:47:46.479 --> 01:47:48.319
I don't know how that whole thing works.

01:47:48.479 --> 01:47:54.079
And watched the bloke throw a Zimmer frame over the front counter at the front counter staff.

01:47:55.119 --> 01:48:03.920
That was he threw a carton of eggs and then ran out of eggs, pelting the cop, but he picked up his zimmer frame and chucked it over.

01:48:04.720 --> 01:48:08.720
He was he actually he ended up getting tasered by TOU.

01:48:10.239 --> 01:48:11.920
Even though he had a Zimmer frame.

01:48:12.159 --> 01:48:14.000
Shout out to TOU, it was hilarious.

01:48:14.159 --> 01:48:14.800
Yeah.

01:48:15.760 --> 01:48:20.159
Now as he spoke out, 2021, this is where the spicy flu come in.

01:48:20.399 --> 01:48:20.640
Yeah.

01:48:20.880 --> 01:48:27.279
Some Chinese bloke ate a bat ate a bat and uh destroyed the world.

01:48:27.600 --> 01:48:29.840
And yeah, we know that the police.

01:48:30.319 --> 01:48:33.520
I know the police took things too way too fucking far.

01:48:33.760 --> 01:48:43.920
I know there's uh there's a little line when you get told what to do and how you gotta do it, but Jesus Christ, there's there's there's some cops that just go way too far.

01:48:44.319 --> 01:48:53.840
I agree with that, and there's always one that it's like I was saying for some people, cops just the letter of the law is the letter of the law.

01:48:53.920 --> 01:49:00.800
Yeah discretion has to come in to be if you want to be respected in society, you've got to treat people fairly.

01:49:00.960 --> 01:49:06.479
And there's sometimes that things can be sidelined.

01:49:06.640 --> 01:49:10.319
Sometimes you can't, but that's the main thing for being a cop.

01:49:10.479 --> 01:49:11.840
It's just be a decent person to people.

01:49:12.000 --> 01:49:12.239
Yeah.

01:49:12.399 --> 01:49:14.880
There's no need to be an asshole to someone you've never met.

01:49:15.119 --> 01:49:23.199
And if you know it's comical, like if you can sit down at a pub and you can take your mask off, but if you stand up, better put it back on.

01:49:23.520 --> 01:49:25.119
But the rules were You know what I mean?

01:49:25.199 --> 01:49:29.680
Like you just gotta think and go, fuck, that's this is this is stupid.

01:49:29.840 --> 01:49:32.800
I'm not gonna I'll make it look like I'm enforcing it, but I'm not.

01:49:32.960 --> 01:49:34.239
I don't fucking care.

01:49:34.479 --> 01:49:39.680
Yeah, I only gave out two COVID tickets, and that's because they're absolute arseholes.

01:49:39.920 --> 01:49:40.560
Yeah, yeah.

01:49:40.720 --> 01:49:45.520
Like they failed the attitude tests up and severely out.

01:49:45.760 --> 01:49:48.880
It could have been hundreds, but two people.

01:49:49.199 --> 01:49:51.520
But COVID was I like COVID.

01:49:52.000 --> 01:49:53.119
I enjoyed it.

01:49:53.359 --> 01:49:54.000
Yeah, so did I.

01:49:54.159 --> 01:49:56.079
I thought it was I wasn't expected to be anywhere.

01:49:56.319 --> 01:50:02.319
Lockdown was great, yeah, it was forced rest for me, and you Know I'm like I'm I'm busy.

01:50:02.479 --> 01:50:04.720
I'm busy every day, like non-stop.

01:50:04.800 --> 01:50:05.600
There's something new.

01:50:06.159 --> 01:50:07.840
But here they're overseas.

01:50:08.239 --> 01:50:13.199
I was lucky to stay at home for a month and just kick back and Call of Duty.

01:50:13.279 --> 01:50:13.439
Yeah.

01:50:13.680 --> 01:50:14.479
The wife of kids.

01:50:18.319 --> 01:50:21.039
We'd go to work and we'd just do our usual patrols.

01:50:21.600 --> 01:50:22.319
Less people out.

01:50:22.640 --> 01:50:23.039
No one out.

01:50:23.119 --> 01:50:24.319
And if they were out, they were crooks.

01:50:24.479 --> 01:50:25.840
So you got to lock them up anyway.

01:50:25.920 --> 01:50:26.239
Yeah.

01:50:26.560 --> 01:50:30.319
And then I'd go home and not be expected to be anywhere.

01:50:30.640 --> 01:50:38.960
And then in between that, I was doing some volunteer work with the Salvation Army in the city doing homeless feeding.

01:50:39.119 --> 01:50:41.199
So we'd feed the homeless guys and girls.

01:50:41.439 --> 01:50:42.399
Because everything was shut.

01:50:42.479 --> 01:50:43.119
There was no one out.

01:50:43.199 --> 01:50:44.399
They were just out.

01:50:44.560 --> 01:50:46.800
A lot of people forgot about the homeless community.

01:50:46.880 --> 01:50:48.239
They were just stranded.

01:50:48.479 --> 01:50:48.960
Yeah.

01:50:49.199 --> 01:50:49.600
Yeah.

01:50:49.840 --> 01:50:51.920
So I was going into I got a permit.

01:50:52.000 --> 01:50:55.920
You'd get have to get a permit to say you could travel outside your 4K bubble.

01:50:56.239 --> 01:50:56.399
Yep.

01:50:56.560 --> 01:50:57.359
So I had that as well.

01:50:57.439 --> 01:51:01.600
So on my days off, I was going into the city to do stuff with that.

01:51:02.640 --> 01:51:04.640
So yeah, COVID didn't.

01:51:05.760 --> 01:51:06.720
It wasn't shit.

01:51:06.960 --> 01:51:07.199
No.

01:51:07.439 --> 01:51:09.840
Plus, there was extra shifts going because of all those hotel.

01:51:10.399 --> 01:51:11.680
Yes, for you guys, yeah.

01:51:12.319 --> 01:51:18.239
There were copper's making absolute bank doing overtime and user pays.

01:51:18.319 --> 01:51:20.479
There was shifts for days for everyone.

01:51:20.640 --> 01:51:26.399
So then we got to do those border closure deployments, which I loved.

01:51:26.640 --> 01:51:28.159
Heading out bush.

01:51:28.399 --> 01:51:35.119
Where I went, we were blocking one bridge, which never had any cars go over it anyway, over the Murray River.

01:51:35.439 --> 01:51:37.760
So it was just like a boys' camping trip.

01:51:37.920 --> 01:51:38.079
Yeah.

01:51:38.399 --> 01:51:40.079
We had a bonfire going every night.

01:51:40.159 --> 01:51:44.960
We'd just sit around eating food and playing card games.

01:51:45.119 --> 01:51:47.600
It was yeah, I enjoyed it.

01:51:47.680 --> 01:51:49.840
I'm sure there's some people that had terrible fire.

01:51:50.079 --> 01:51:51.119
I'm not underestimating how much.

01:51:51.359 --> 01:51:51.840
No, no, 100%.

01:51:52.079 --> 01:52:00.000
Like I had friends that are destroyed a lot of businesses and yeah, they struggled big time during COVID because their livelihood got taken away from them.

01:52:00.159 --> 01:52:04.479
But from a cop perspective, it was a pretty decent time to be policing.

01:52:05.359 --> 01:52:06.560
I enjoyed it.

01:52:06.800 --> 01:52:17.439
And then we had a short gap where the numbers went right down in um cases, and they let people start to go to the pub again.

01:52:17.840 --> 01:52:19.760
And I think it was the first weekend of that.

01:52:19.840 --> 01:52:21.680
No, it was the first weekday of that.

01:52:21.920 --> 01:52:24.239
I had this probationer with me.

01:52:24.640 --> 01:52:25.680
I was his FGI.

01:52:25.920 --> 01:52:29.600
Mate, this bloke should never have got through the handwritten application test.

01:52:30.079 --> 01:52:33.279
Just the worst of the worst.

01:52:33.680 --> 01:52:43.600
We're in the pub talking to the security guard, the head of security, and the doorman was out the front, and we see this group of blokes come up.

01:52:44.079 --> 01:52:48.079
And obviously, fresh out of COVID, they got to see the boys again, they're on the cans.

01:52:49.199 --> 01:52:51.760
Security at the front said, no, you can't go in.

01:52:52.000 --> 01:52:55.840
And the biggest bloke of the groups just punched the secchi square in the head.

01:52:55.920 --> 01:52:58.720
Just like straight up bushka.

01:52:59.439 --> 01:53:01.439
We're standing there looking through the glass windows.

01:53:01.520 --> 01:53:02.880
I was like, oh shit.

01:53:03.600 --> 01:53:07.279
So I've run out and it was pretty funny.

01:53:07.520 --> 01:53:12.319
I had people messaging me from all around the state that the footage got out somehow.

01:53:12.800 --> 01:53:17.359
I've run in with this flying coat hanger because the bloke, like I'm no big fella at all.

01:53:17.520 --> 01:53:30.000
I had the jump to try and get this bloke in a headlock, and it's just like this flying headlock, get him down, and he gets up, so I flick him over my shoulder, jump on top, having a bit of a punch on.

01:53:31.039 --> 01:53:35.600
He's going to town, so I'm giving him a few elbows in the head.

01:53:35.920 --> 01:53:42.319
My offsider was too scared to jump in, and so I had all his mates around us.

01:53:42.479 --> 01:53:43.920
It was like a schoolyard fight.

01:53:44.000 --> 01:53:59.920
We're going for it in the middle, the mates are around, and there's this useless constable standing outside the circle watching everything go down, and finally was able to call for back up, and my realmates turned up.

01:54:00.000 --> 01:54:01.760
We wrapped him up pretty quick.

01:54:02.560 --> 01:54:12.319
Anyway, I ended up getting a scolding for it because on my body worn camera I screamed out his name and then said, Help me, you cunt.

01:54:12.960 --> 01:54:25.279
And I got a scolding for talking down to a junior officer that did nothing, that did nothing and admitted that he was scared, and he was just protect at that time.

01:54:25.760 --> 01:54:32.479
We had a real spate of just questionable applicants coming in, and he was just one of them.

01:54:32.800 --> 01:54:34.640
Yeah, no, I made I've seen them.

01:54:34.800 --> 01:54:40.880
There was a whole I've seen them when I'm when I've worked at pubs over the last you know 15, 20 years.

01:54:41.199 --> 01:54:45.039
There's always been special cases, but they got to this point.

01:54:45.199 --> 01:54:51.119
Like it used to be like you would pick there's one bad one out of a group of 10 yeah.

01:54:51.439 --> 01:54:53.439
Now it's like we get one not now.

01:54:53.520 --> 01:54:58.880
Like I know in the last 18 months, a bit more, the quality's definitely gone up.

01:54:58.960 --> 01:55:04.560
I don't know what's happening at recruiting, but the quality of guys and girls coming through has stepped up big time.

01:55:04.640 --> 01:55:14.159
And I think the more I get to know some of the young coppers through the Instagram page, I think things are turning around in that retrospect.

01:55:14.399 --> 01:55:15.199
Like they're keen.

01:55:15.359 --> 01:55:16.560
Like the young cops are keen.

01:55:16.880 --> 01:55:24.960
People listening to podcasts are seeing Instagram accounts now showing the real policing and people like us telling them it's good to see.

01:55:25.039 --> 01:55:28.000
Like I've we yeah, don't want shit cops.

01:55:28.079 --> 01:55:29.760
No, and they don't want to be known as shit cops.

01:55:30.159 --> 01:55:31.039
And it's good, they're keen.

01:55:31.119 --> 01:55:35.039
It's just and if you're out there and you think you're a shit cop, you probably are.

01:55:35.199 --> 01:55:35.840
You probably are.

01:55:36.079 --> 01:55:38.880
So fucking just question question what you're doing.

01:55:39.039 --> 01:55:42.399
Yeah, but by all means, go work behind the counter somewhere.

01:55:42.720 --> 01:55:43.680
Happy days.

01:55:43.840 --> 01:55:46.000
Don't be out in the street and don't dog your mates.

01:55:46.239 --> 01:55:47.600
There's a job for everyone in the copy.

01:55:47.760 --> 01:55:48.159
Exactly right.

01:55:48.239 --> 01:55:49.359
There is hand camp.

01:55:49.680 --> 01:55:51.199
Oh yeah, we'll talk about that soon.

01:55:51.840 --> 01:55:52.560
Let's get there.

01:55:53.600 --> 01:55:55.359
That's the most exciting one I had.

01:55:55.600 --> 01:56:03.680
Um, but yeah, there's a job for everyone, and if you know you're not suited to a role you're in, change your role or change a job.

01:56:03.920 --> 01:56:05.920
Like people's lives are at stake.

01:56:06.399 --> 01:56:07.520
That's the biggest thing, isn't it?

01:56:07.600 --> 01:56:09.359
It's it's not a fuck around job.

01:56:09.520 --> 01:56:12.560
Like, because I'm I'm a small fella compared to most.

01:56:12.720 --> 01:56:16.720
If that guy had got one decent crack on me, out cold.

01:56:16.880 --> 01:56:17.840
I would have been out cold.

01:56:18.560 --> 01:56:24.079
There was a that means a free gun, who knows what his level of psycho was.

01:56:24.640 --> 01:56:38.079
Just but then I've I've worked with absolutely tiny petite female constables that have thrown down harder than some of the biggest guys on the team.

01:56:38.239 --> 01:56:45.920
Yeah, it's incredible that like a lot of people focus on size, but it's all in the heart.

01:56:46.000 --> 01:56:52.479
Like I I had a real shit lockup once as a drink driver gone to shit.

01:56:53.119 --> 01:56:55.119
I've got a face that everyone wants to punch.

01:56:55.199 --> 01:56:56.399
I swear to God.

01:56:57.119 --> 01:56:58.319
I got hit so many times.

01:56:58.479 --> 01:56:59.840
I said, mate, you're under arrest.

01:57:00.000 --> 01:57:01.680
Boom, straight in the face.

01:57:03.199 --> 01:57:06.319
We're going on like we're going hit for hit.

01:57:06.399 --> 01:57:07.520
It was pretty good.

01:57:08.239 --> 01:57:13.199
I got him on a good tussle, and then we're trying to wrap him up.

01:57:13.359 --> 01:57:19.760
And this girl I was working with, small as anything, she knew that if she could just get a limb, she would help.

01:57:19.840 --> 01:57:24.319
And she was in there straight away, wrapped the legs up, done, perfect.

01:57:24.399 --> 01:57:25.359
We're able to lock him up.

01:57:25.520 --> 01:57:26.319
Simple as that.

01:57:26.479 --> 01:57:32.640
But then you got big fella like this bloke that left me out to drive, is apparently some black belt and kung fu.

01:57:34.079 --> 01:57:34.399
Yeah.

01:57:34.640 --> 01:57:36.800
He can fight ghosts, but not freaking real people.

01:57:37.279 --> 01:57:39.439
Fucking PlayStation 1, Mortal Kombat.

01:57:41.199 --> 01:57:45.680
And like everyone I've worked with will know that story, and he's saying his name right now.

01:57:45.760 --> 01:57:46.159
Yeah.

01:57:46.399 --> 01:57:47.520
So shout out.

01:57:48.560 --> 01:57:49.760
Haven't forgotten about him.

01:57:49.920 --> 01:57:50.159
Yeah.

01:57:50.800 --> 01:57:51.119
The dog.

01:57:51.520 --> 01:57:53.920
Again, mate, like you said, there's there's a job for everyone.

01:57:54.000 --> 01:57:55.680
You don't have to be a Jedi's cup.

01:57:55.760 --> 01:57:58.960
You don't have to be a heavy hitter or a hard hitter.

01:57:59.119 --> 01:58:03.199
Go work, I don't know, fucking the accounting IT dog.

01:58:04.159 --> 01:58:04.560
Yeah.

01:58:04.880 --> 01:58:05.600
Not the military.

01:58:05.680 --> 01:58:06.720
You don't have to be an infantry guy.

01:58:06.800 --> 01:58:08.880
You don't have to be a commander or special forces.

01:58:08.960 --> 01:58:12.479
You can just, I don't know, be a fucking big player on a clerk or something.

01:58:13.119 --> 01:58:13.840
You know what I mean?

01:58:14.079 --> 01:58:16.000
Or just tap out your job at the future.

01:58:16.319 --> 01:58:17.199
Yeah, exactly.

01:58:17.359 --> 01:58:17.760
Exactly.

01:58:17.920 --> 01:58:24.399
Because again, you're putting people's lives at risk, not only the police officers next to you, but still doing that there.

01:58:24.880 --> 01:58:25.199
Yeah.

01:58:25.359 --> 01:58:25.840
Yeah.

01:58:28.000 --> 01:58:29.600
And uh yeah, right.

01:58:29.680 --> 01:58:32.720
So from there, this is where you get a bit of surgery though.

01:58:32.880 --> 01:58:40.479
Because obviously, this, you know, again, this is frontline policing can be fucking hard and rigorous on the body, no doubt.

01:58:41.520 --> 01:58:44.399
It really can be, and it was for me.

01:58:44.720 --> 01:58:51.359
So I'd for a while I'd had shoulder pain, but I thought I'd just pull the muscle in my shoulder.

01:58:52.479 --> 01:58:54.960
Boys being boys, you're like, it'll get better.

01:58:55.119 --> 01:58:56.880
I'll just keep doing my thing.

01:58:57.119 --> 01:59:04.079
Um, I had a few big pranks in the in the work car over the years.

01:59:04.159 --> 01:59:11.359
I think there was three or four big ones, and then the usual punch-ons and wrestles and whatnot.

01:59:11.840 --> 01:59:18.880
Um after that big one at the pub, I lost feeling in my in my thumb and my index finger.

01:59:19.279 --> 01:59:21.920
And I was like, that's that's not great.

01:59:23.680 --> 01:59:26.479
Um, so I went to the GP, got the scans.

01:59:26.560 --> 01:59:28.800
He was like, you need to go see a neurosurgeon.

01:59:29.039 --> 01:59:37.680
I was like, what the f So went to neurosurgeon, and he looked at the scans and booked me in for emergency spine surgery the next week.

01:59:37.920 --> 01:59:41.119
And at this stage we'd gone back into COVID.

01:59:42.239 --> 01:59:46.159
Not we didn't go back into a full lockdown, but it was like really strict.

01:59:46.640 --> 01:59:48.560
And he's like, You're not working.

01:59:48.800 --> 01:59:49.279
Are you?

01:59:49.359 --> 01:59:49.920
You're off work.

01:59:50.000 --> 01:59:52.159
And I was like, No, I've got night shift tomorrow.

01:59:52.319 --> 01:59:54.399
He's like, mate, don't move.

01:59:54.479 --> 01:59:57.840
He's like, You ruptured your disc and it's crushed your spinal cord.

01:59:58.560 --> 02:00:00.960
I was like, what do you mean?

02:00:01.119 --> 02:00:08.319
So what had happened over the years, it just bulge, bulge, bulge, and that's when it finally went.

02:00:08.399 --> 02:00:13.920
And it when it went, I it felt like I'd been stabbed in the neck.

02:00:14.000 --> 02:00:15.359
Like I thought I'd been stabbed.

02:00:15.439 --> 02:00:18.720
It was just this instant bomb.

02:00:19.600 --> 02:00:31.039
So went in for surgery for that, which has left me like all the nerves got crushed and index finger and thumb still non-existent.

02:00:31.520 --> 02:00:38.159
Um ended up being in hospital for it was about five days.

02:00:38.640 --> 02:00:46.880
And because it was COVID, I you weren't allowed visitors or anything, so you just relied on doctors and nurses and all that kind of stuff.

02:00:47.680 --> 02:00:56.159
And when I was in there, every four hours I'd come in with two big tablets and they'll give them it to me, and I was like, sweet, sweet.

02:00:56.319 --> 02:00:57.439
Got discharged.

02:00:58.079 --> 02:01:04.720
They gave me all these packets of endone, and so I figured they were what they were giving me for the every four hours.

02:01:04.960 --> 02:01:08.800
So I started dumping two endones every four hours.

02:01:09.680 --> 02:01:14.399
Turns out I was only getting endone at night time, the rest was just panodol.

02:01:14.800 --> 02:01:20.960
So I was on four times, four to five times the dosage of endone that I was meant to be on.

02:01:21.199 --> 02:01:22.640
Totally unintentionally.

02:01:22.800 --> 02:01:27.359
I just don't read instructions or like most blokes.

02:01:27.439 --> 02:01:29.359
I was like, I just got addicted.

02:01:29.520 --> 02:01:32.640
Yeah, I got absolutely hooked on the endone.

02:01:32.800 --> 02:01:41.600
I like and to top it off, I got out of hospital and my son was born the next uh two days after I got discharged.

02:01:41.840 --> 02:02:01.840
So I was high as a child on endone and post-surgery pain, and then baby comes along, then take a couple more just to ease the pain, so I had to go up to the hospital, and I was taking them like like jelly beans, and um I didn't know anything about endone at the time.

02:02:01.920 --> 02:02:09.760
I just thought it was a painkiller, and the doctor called me after a couple of weeks of it, and he's like, Oh, I want you off the endone by Wednesday.

02:02:10.239 --> 02:02:11.520
I was like, no problem.

02:02:13.760 --> 02:02:14.880
Easy, yeah.

02:02:14.960 --> 02:02:21.119
It turns out not easy, it was full on junky withdrawals.

02:02:21.760 --> 02:02:36.399
I didn't know what was going on, it was like the movies, like the convulsions, the vomiting, the opiate fucking addiction just dry off it, and I I honestly thought I was dying because I still didn't put two and two together, it was the endone.

02:02:37.840 --> 02:02:49.920
And we had a family member in the family, we had a family member at the time who was a doctor, and he got called up and he goes, When did Ben stop taking his endone?

02:02:50.560 --> 02:02:52.640
I was like, oh 24 hours ago.

02:02:52.720 --> 02:02:54.479
He's like, get him endo now.

02:02:54.800 --> 02:03:01.840
And I took one tablet and I was like, Oh shit, I'm hooked on opioids.

02:03:02.880 --> 02:03:08.000
And that was that was a shit feeling being a cop.

02:03:08.319 --> 02:03:14.399
And um I went to the doctor the next day and he's like, Yeah, we're gonna put you on an opioid treatment program.

02:03:15.760 --> 02:03:22.079
And like the the feeling of being told that was just next level.

02:03:22.159 --> 02:03:40.560
So that was a very painful time to wean off the drugs, still try and keep it a secret, because you don't want anyone knowing that you're a junkie, knowing you're a junkie on opioid unintentional, so you're either a junkie or you're an idiot.

02:03:40.720 --> 02:03:44.239
I was one of them, and I was both of them at the same time, yeah.

02:03:44.479 --> 02:03:50.880
Because no one believed I'd unintentionally was taking that many, but I'd I'm just an idiot.

02:03:51.119 --> 02:04:12.000
So it took me a long time to get cleared to go back to work because of the the endone, and that took a massive toll on my ego and pride, really, because like you pride yourself in being a cop, you're clean, you know, you don't get addicted to stuff.

02:04:12.079 --> 02:04:29.520
Yes, it was just it was the weirdest thing to come out of nowhere, and then during that time, I'm trying to navigate being a new father and failing it that miserably, like it just wasn't natural to me, and I didn't take to it like most people do.

02:04:30.479 --> 02:04:34.000
So I got to the point where I was like, I need to get off this, I need to get back to work.

02:04:34.159 --> 02:04:38.159
Like, I need that chaos to feel normal again.

02:04:38.399 --> 02:04:44.960
Being at home was just recovery, it was boring, there was no adrenaline.

02:04:45.359 --> 02:04:57.199
It's slow, it was slow, I wasn't enjoying my life as a father, a new father, like there was the PTSD and then the endone stuff.

02:04:57.279 --> 02:05:05.439
It really fucked with my head to try and be a present human in a newborn's life was really hard for me at the time.

02:05:06.239 --> 02:05:16.079
So I just did everything I could to it probably helped me as well to get off all the pain meds and whatnot.

02:05:16.239 --> 02:05:24.239
I had a motivation to really get in there and get back to work, get my gat stuck, broken necks again.

02:05:24.640 --> 02:05:25.279
Yeah.

02:05:25.520 --> 02:05:35.600
So that was I think that took about six months, all up, with the neck recovery and then also the the opioids on top.

02:05:36.479 --> 02:05:41.039
About yeah, I'd say about six months, got back into it, and it was the same shit.

02:05:41.119 --> 02:05:46.960
As soon as I got back, just the grind non-stop.

02:05:47.039 --> 02:05:54.239
I was doing a lot of relieving sergeant at that stage, it was mainly that, which I love doing that.

02:05:54.399 --> 02:05:58.399
That was like a bird to water for that.

02:05:58.720 --> 02:06:05.840
Because I always wanted to finish my career as a sergeant, so that was my career goal by the end of it.

02:06:05.920 --> 02:06:11.760
So I was enjoying doing that kind of stuff, but everything had taken its toll at that stage.

02:06:11.840 --> 02:06:19.840
I was I was burnt out even though I'd just come back, the old stuff had never gone away.

02:06:20.399 --> 02:06:39.359
And for most Jedi's cops, it's like that that cup, they don't have time to empty the cup because every day it's just something new, and if it's not something traumatic, it's some internal bullshit that's going on with a shit boss or shit management, things just kept going and building, building, building.

02:06:39.520 --> 02:06:47.119
So I was like, I need to find another another place to get to that's less stressful.

02:06:47.760 --> 02:06:49.199
So one time at band camp.

02:06:49.359 --> 02:06:54.720
So this one time at bandcamp, I've I've put in a um I've put a flute up my bum.

02:06:56.000 --> 02:07:01.600
So for the listeners, I ended up going to the New South Wales police band as a second.

02:07:03.840 --> 02:07:06.960
Maddie loves that I went to band camp in the police force.

02:07:08.079 --> 02:07:08.640
Yeah, dog.

02:07:09.920 --> 02:07:20.239
But no, so I the police band comprises of there's about 32 civilian musicians in it and two police sergeants that run it.

02:07:20.319 --> 02:07:40.640
So it's run out of the public affairs division, so yeah, that's run out of headquarters, but they were the police band's out at Stanmore, and they do all the community engagements, they do awards days, funerals, school visits, nursing home visits, academy stuff, all the graduations.

02:07:40.880 --> 02:07:41.359
Yep.

02:07:41.680 --> 02:07:54.079
Um I heard that one of the sergeants had gone off sick on long-term sick leave, sick leave, and I knew a few people in the band through social connections.

02:07:54.239 --> 02:07:54.960
Now tell me about it.

02:07:55.199 --> 02:07:58.720
I was like, That sounds like a pretty good gig.

02:07:59.039 --> 02:08:02.399
So I put in and the bosses thought it was a joke to start with.

02:08:02.640 --> 02:08:05.520
Yeah, like they literally came down and they're like, Is this real?

02:08:05.760 --> 02:08:06.159
Is he right?

02:08:06.319 --> 02:08:08.399
This is right, is this the end ain't talking?

02:08:08.960 --> 02:08:10.960
Like, this guy's still off his rocket.

02:08:11.279 --> 02:08:12.720
I was like, no, no, it's legit.

02:08:12.800 --> 02:08:13.600
I want to get out there.

02:08:13.760 --> 02:08:18.399
So I went out there and mate, I was absolutely blessed.

02:08:18.720 --> 02:08:32.239
The other sergeant there, who's a full-time sergeant, um, Dan, he'd just got there because he got a new position there, and me and him were on the exact same page with everything.

02:08:32.399 --> 02:08:38.319
We'd worked at pretty much the same units throughout our career, but at different times.

02:08:38.560 --> 02:08:45.680
So we we understood each other, and I was able to like I was just up front with him with about my mental health.

02:08:45.760 --> 02:08:48.479
I was like, mate, I'm struggling, that's why I'm here.

02:08:48.960 --> 02:08:59.840
And I tell you what, he him and the members of that band helped me big time as a as was kind of just a a reset period.

02:09:00.239 --> 02:09:06.720
Um, a lot of people give the band shit, which is understandable, it's an easy target for a joke.

02:09:06.800 --> 02:09:08.880
Like it's of course yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:09:09.359 --> 02:09:10.640
I'm the first to admit that.

02:09:10.720 --> 02:09:11.039
Yeah.

02:09:11.199 --> 02:09:21.920
Um, but the I didn't understand or appreciate the role they had in the police force that no one, even the members of the band don't see it.

02:09:22.159 --> 02:09:31.119
Um they're the public relations, they're top of top of the pile, if you ask me.

02:09:31.199 --> 02:09:38.079
You got TikTok cops that are embarrassment, you got Facebook posts where they're doing statuses that are just embarrassing.

02:09:38.159 --> 02:09:42.239
Yeah, they're trying to be relevant, but it's like it's just cringy.

02:09:43.920 --> 02:09:53.119
Like it's there's just so much bad publicity that made by the police that's meant to be good, that's just makes us look like a joke.

02:09:53.359 --> 02:10:32.960
Where the police band would be going to all public engagement, like communities, events, they'd go out rural, there'd be events where there's indigenous communities out there, they're professional, they play world-class music that it's not embarrassing to be around, like they're professional musicians, and I was able to relate to the community more when I was at the police band than I could being in general duties because we were coming at people not to arrest them, not to tell them that someone in their family's died.

02:10:33.199 --> 02:10:42.800
We were there for enjoyment, and I was able to positively reflect the police force to people better than I ever could.

02:10:43.039 --> 02:10:52.239
Like they talk about community policing and trying to get Judy's cops to be everyone's best friend, and you can't have it both ways.

02:10:52.319 --> 02:10:58.079
You're a you're everyone's friend, or you you're the cop because you can't be both at the same time.

02:10:58.239 --> 02:11:04.640
But when I was at the band, it was people wanted to talk to the cops, it was incredible.

02:11:04.960 --> 02:11:16.880
And like not only because I could I enjoy world-class music every day, still call myself a cop, but I wasn't dealing with the day in, day out.

02:11:17.119 --> 02:11:20.239
It's good luck reset, it was a great reset, yeah.

02:11:20.399 --> 02:11:22.000
And like, we'll do it.

02:11:22.800 --> 02:11:37.039
Like, I one of my favourite challenge coins I got is from the governor because I helped organise when um the queen died, the police band was the band in charge of playing at the announcement of the new king.

02:11:37.600 --> 02:11:54.239
So I got a challenge coin from the governor out of that, which sits pride of joy and got to meet all sorts of celebrities and officials and politicians, and had a fair bit to do, like a fair bit of contact with Mal Lanyon, the new commissioner.

02:11:54.399 --> 02:11:58.239
He was a deputy at the time, and he was at a lot of the engagements we went to.

02:11:58.640 --> 02:12:02.960
So Had a lot to do with him, so I got a lot of time for him.

02:12:03.199 --> 02:12:04.159
Big mouth.

02:12:04.800 --> 02:12:07.680
Um but just the people there.

02:12:07.760 --> 02:12:09.760
They like I still talk to a lot of them.

02:12:09.840 --> 02:12:10.800
Like I made good friends.

02:12:11.039 --> 02:12:12.319
And they're all civvies too, aren't they?

02:12:12.800 --> 02:12:14.000
They're just two full-time cops.

02:12:14.159 --> 02:12:16.800
The rest are just all the band members are civvies.

02:12:16.960 --> 02:12:17.199
Yeah.

02:12:17.279 --> 02:12:17.520
Yeah.

02:12:17.680 --> 02:12:21.520
And um, but they wear police uniforms, so they need actual police with them.

02:12:21.600 --> 02:12:28.239
So if someone out in the park thinks they're police to go on, we were there to stick playing the triangle.

02:12:28.720 --> 02:12:37.359
Yeah, I'm just like I've had I got one of my dad's good mates, Mick, he was in the police band years ago.

02:12:38.159 --> 02:12:41.600
And he was ex-TIG back in the day.

02:12:41.680 --> 02:12:43.119
He was a he was a cop cop.

02:12:43.600 --> 02:12:50.079
He went to the band as a bit of a stress release in the 80s and ended up getting his bravery medal whilst in the band.

02:12:50.720 --> 02:12:52.800
He jumped on top of Prince Charles.

02:12:52.960 --> 02:12:53.359
That's true.

02:12:53.439 --> 02:12:53.760
Yeah.

02:12:54.079 --> 02:12:54.960
Down in the opera house.

02:12:56.399 --> 02:12:57.199
We spoke about this last time.

02:12:57.680 --> 02:12:58.319
That was on the last one.

02:12:58.720 --> 02:13:00.399
You need to connect me with this this bloke.

02:13:00.640 --> 02:13:01.680
I'm trying to get it working on it.

02:13:02.319 --> 02:13:04.159
I had a chat with him last week about it.

02:13:04.399 --> 02:13:06.239
We'll talk off air that one.

02:13:06.479 --> 02:13:11.279
But yeah, everyone gives everyone in the band shit, but he jumped on a guy with a gun.

02:13:11.680 --> 02:13:15.760
He put his tuber down and ran across ran across the stage.

02:13:16.079 --> 02:13:17.760
Like you couldn't you couldn't script it.

02:13:17.840 --> 02:13:18.399
Yeah.

02:13:18.640 --> 02:13:19.760
So things do happen.

02:13:19.840 --> 02:13:23.039
But I was getting the itch because I love being a cop.

02:13:24.000 --> 02:13:28.479
It was great being there, but I was getting the itch to get back into it.

02:13:28.800 --> 02:13:30.239
Back into policing, yeah.

02:13:30.560 --> 02:13:36.960
Yeah, which I probably shouldn't have been so keen to get back in, but that's life.

02:13:37.199 --> 02:13:39.760
You learn, you learn from your mistakes.

02:13:40.000 --> 02:13:45.760
So I was there for six, I think it was six or seven months.

02:13:46.079 --> 02:13:52.560
Then got called, went back to JD and went straight back into relieving sergeant again.

02:13:52.880 --> 02:13:57.119
Uh and like things just went downhill pretty quick.

02:13:57.359 --> 02:13:57.920
Yeah.

02:13:58.239 --> 02:13:59.199
At that stage.

02:13:59.439 --> 02:14:05.279
So if you this is where you kind of see the end of the police, you're like, fuck.

02:14:05.680 --> 02:14:07.680
Is it is that creeping into your mind?

02:14:10.560 --> 02:14:18.720
I never had a thought that I was gonna leave the cops but I knew I couldn't keep doing it.

02:14:19.199 --> 02:14:33.199
Um we had a few heavy jobs that I was a supervisor at that being a supervisor, you're pretty much doing welfare on your troops.

02:14:34.159 --> 02:14:40.960
Not from an official capacity, but if you actually give a shit, you're a supervisor, you check on your crew.

02:14:42.479 --> 02:14:49.439
And we had a shock and suicide um going off the 20th balcony.

02:14:49.600 --> 02:14:50.159
Oh fuck.

02:14:50.720 --> 02:14:52.880
It was one of the big ones and splat.

02:14:53.279 --> 02:14:54.640
Yeah, that was splat splat.

02:14:55.600 --> 02:15:05.840
And I I went all out for welfare for the guys for that one because the crew that was on that night, I don't think there was anyone over the age of 27.

02:15:06.159 --> 02:15:10.560
Like they're all kids, probationers, and then FTOs were even young.

02:15:11.600 --> 02:15:27.359
So I put together a debrief session for everyone and called in the police chaplain there, I had a psych come in, and then we just did a proper because there's no debriefing in the cops.

02:15:27.439 --> 02:15:32.720
There was there's no I'd never had one before, and I witnessed it years ago.

02:15:32.880 --> 02:15:38.960
The ambo the Ambo's doing, and we'd had a shit job where I was doing CPR on this bloke.

02:15:39.199 --> 02:15:43.920
We got him back to the hospital, and uh Ambo goes, Oh, do you want to sit in on our debrief?

02:15:44.159 --> 02:15:45.520
I was like, What's a debrief?

02:15:45.680 --> 02:15:46.720
Like, what do you mean?

02:15:46.800 --> 02:15:51.439
And I sat down, I saw how they did it, and I was like, that's fucking incredible.

02:15:51.760 --> 02:15:58.319
And so I pulled that one out because I was thinking in that by that stage of my career, I'm like, something's got to change.

02:15:58.560 --> 02:16:03.600
Like, we're just gonna have more people as broken as me.

02:16:03.680 --> 02:16:09.680
Like, I don't I don't know what I can do, but if I can help one person in my team, I'll be happy.

02:16:09.920 --> 02:16:16.000
Um then not long after that, we had a critical incident where it was police involved shooting.

02:16:16.399 --> 02:16:34.799
That that was a big emotional, like a lot of the guys probably didn't see what I did, but like I went out of my way to make sure the guys were alright for that one because that's pretty brutal watching well, especially for the shooter at the stage.

02:16:34.959 --> 02:16:46.319
He landed two two center mass, put the bloke down, and the got the shooter bloke, like the cop was the most loveliest, softly spoken bloke on the team.

02:16:46.399 --> 02:17:12.079
You wouldn't have expected him to be capable of what he did, and so I went out of my way to tell him that he would he's a bloody legend, like his response time, his drills was amazing, and then we had new probationers that were there, and I put everything at that stage aside to be a decent supervisor.

02:17:12.319 --> 02:17:20.079
Um my relationship had broken down with my son's mother, so I was out of home for that one.

02:17:20.559 --> 02:17:24.559
Still trying to navigate how to be a good dad.

02:17:25.120 --> 02:18:09.040
Um, it was easier to focus on the cops than my real life, and then that started taking a toll like mentally, emotionally, lots of old stuff started really catching up to me, and um it got to a stage that I was making s silly decisions, being absolutely reckless, not doing things that the supervisor should be doing, like done things that I was kind of hoping would kill me, so I didn't have to do it myself.

02:18:09.840 --> 02:18:21.680
Um and then that didn't work, so I got to the stage one night where I drove down to a spot that I used to sit at at the beach down at Bow Morrow.

02:18:22.639 --> 02:18:25.840
And I'd I'd planned to take my life that night.

02:18:26.159 --> 02:18:31.840
I was in a really shocking way that with your service pistol, yeah, yeah.

02:18:32.000 --> 02:18:35.360
I'd which isn't it's not uncommon, is it?

02:18:35.600 --> 02:18:36.319
It's not, mate.

02:18:36.559 --> 02:18:39.360
No, it's happened, it's happened a fair few times.

02:18:39.920 --> 02:18:42.799
It and that that is stations too.

02:18:42.879 --> 02:19:23.600
I've you know there's been one that's been in stations, it's been in cars, it's been they've gone in and got it and gone somewhere else, and that's why I decided to do what I'm doing on Instagram and do the podcast is because I realised that we don't talk about it, and so many of cops all around the country and the world think that the struggle that they have is their own and that no one else will understand what they're going through, and it's a battle that cops don't need to hold in.

02:19:24.479 --> 02:19:33.760
Because we we never talk about it, really, like cops are killing themselves left, right, and centre, and the media aren't allowed to talk about it.

02:19:34.639 --> 02:19:39.440
We're not really spoken to about police, or it's too morbid, I don't I guess.

02:19:39.600 --> 02:19:44.799
Um but a lot of cops are out there right now thinking about it.

02:19:45.040 --> 02:19:53.520
Oh, no doubt, it's no doubt about it, and they don't have to actually do it, but having that thought there is the first step of it, just digging into that head.

02:19:53.680 --> 02:19:56.559
Like I never thought it would ever cross my mind.

02:19:57.440 --> 02:20:17.280
So I'm sitting down there, I pulled my Glock out of the holster, had it right there on my right leg, and I was trying to think through what what I was doing, and I could I I said it to people before, I I couldn't finish a thought.

02:20:17.520 --> 02:20:21.680
Like I'd trying to be justifying why am I holding my gun?

02:20:23.360 --> 02:20:25.360
What are people gonna think?

02:20:27.280 --> 02:20:43.600
Shit, the car crew's gonna turn up and see this, and then so years before, my best mate Nathan Sharp, he killed himself, and um sorry, the reason I talk quick is because I don't want to cry, so I'm just trying to pump through it.

02:20:43.840 --> 02:20:52.799
Um Nathan Sharp, he took his own life and he was one of the like the happiest dudes I'd ever met, not a single enemy ever.

02:20:53.520 --> 02:21:02.159
And the effect he had on our lives, his death had on me and my mates' lives, especially Caleb, who we signed up together down at Golden.

02:21:02.319 --> 02:21:04.879
We were all in the same group as teenagers.

02:21:06.079 --> 02:21:13.680
If my mate Sharpie knew the impact he would have had on us for the rest of our lives, he would never have done it.

02:21:14.079 --> 02:22:08.159
And for some reason, when I was sitting there and I'd pumped myself up to do it, I'd it was like I don't know if it was a God moment or I call it a Sharpie moment, it was his nickname, his face literally came into the front of my head, like I could see him, and I just I didn't have the balls to do it, and I put the gut away, and I sat there crying for I can't even tell you how long I sat there crying for, and then and the shift was come and went back up to work to D gun, and the shame I had no one had any idea that I'd done that or was thinking that, or that I'd ever contemplated that kind of action.

02:22:09.200 --> 02:22:13.440
But the shame I had walking back into the station, you have to line up to take your gun off.

02:22:13.680 --> 02:22:20.079
There I am with three stripes on my shoulder, and all the young guys laughing and joking about the shift.

02:22:20.559 --> 02:22:22.319
I was like, I'm an embarrassment.

02:22:23.600 --> 02:22:28.559
How can I call myself a supervisor where I can't even control my own life?

02:22:28.719 --> 02:22:38.799
Like the home life had been destroyed, and then sitting there with my gun out, like I don't I'm not a cop, like I shouldn't be here, I'm not good enough to be here.

02:22:40.639 --> 02:22:45.920
So it wasn't even a relief that it didn't happen because it brought on this whole other kind of guilt and shame.

02:22:47.520 --> 02:22:51.120
So that was the end of that block.

02:22:51.200 --> 02:23:02.000
So I I kind of just went into hermit mode, didn't tell anyone, and came back to work the next week and just plodded it along, doing the absolute bare minimum.

02:23:03.200 --> 02:23:14.079
And one of my mates, Sankey, he was telling me he had a secondment out to this task force out western suburbs that he really didn't want to go to.

02:23:14.159 --> 02:23:16.639
And I was like, mate, I'll do it.

02:23:16.879 --> 02:23:18.559
I was like, I'll take it.

02:23:19.360 --> 02:23:24.239
And I think he was a bit shocked that I took it because he didn't want to go.

02:23:24.479 --> 02:23:38.639
Like he's he's one of those young blokes that is just I call him the heavy hitter of GDs, he just lives for general duties, is he's he's a gun at it, but um he was like, Yeah, I'll swap with that.

02:23:38.799 --> 02:23:51.760
I don't want to travel all the way out there, and so made a few phone calls and I was out on this second, which I thought naively of myself, I was like, this this will change everything.

02:23:52.239 --> 02:23:54.079
This will fix me, kind of like the band.

02:23:54.159 --> 02:24:02.719
I was like, this little break will just make me better, and um mate, that was one of the shittest task force I've ever been on.

02:24:02.959 --> 02:24:17.360
It was for public place shootings because of Alamadines and all them that decided to kick it off, and it was just this political knee-jerk reaction to put a task force together, and the rostering was crap, the taskings were crap.

02:24:18.159 --> 02:24:31.440
The teams I had I made some mad friends I still talk to today in those teams, so when we didn't have taskings, we had a ball because we were always out Mount Druid, sitting then we went out southwest met, all of northwest met.

02:24:32.000 --> 02:24:37.280
We're getting push shoots left, right, and centre, backing up the local crews at shit shop.

02:24:37.440 --> 02:24:47.520
We're having a lot of fun when we weren't dealing with the other crap, and then um the hours were crap, it was a long way away.

02:24:47.600 --> 02:24:51.280
I'd finally started like being able to get a connection with my son.

02:24:51.920 --> 02:25:08.799
I'd I'd turned we had like a turn turning point, and um, but then the rostering went to shit and I could hardly see him, and it started building up again that something in my head was just wasn't feeling right.

02:25:08.959 --> 02:25:17.200
It was it was just a cloud, and I feel sorry for some of the guys I worked with because I'd checked out.

02:25:17.680 --> 02:25:19.840
I just I didn't want to be there.

02:25:20.000 --> 02:25:21.200
I hated the cops.

02:25:21.440 --> 02:25:27.600
I hated that they were incompetent and doing a simple task force.

02:25:27.680 --> 02:25:31.600
Like yeah, you just get narrow-minded when you're at that breaking point.

02:25:32.959 --> 02:25:34.959
Um that went on for a while.

02:25:35.040 --> 02:25:39.680
Then one night we had a pursuit, went through the Druid.

02:25:40.639 --> 02:25:51.520
Um the Mounty guys jumped on, ended up car crashed into Wayland Park, just off Luxford Road, and we went in.

02:25:51.840 --> 02:25:53.920
Happy days, got the crooks, stolen car.

02:25:54.000 --> 02:26:07.360
We'd been chasing the car all night, and then a job, or not a job, it was like two, three o'clock in the morning, and this little kid came running out of one of the housing commission houses screaming.

02:26:07.600 --> 02:26:11.920
He's going help help someone's someone's smashing my house up.

02:26:12.799 --> 02:26:16.799
I was like, what the what's a kid doing like this age?

02:26:17.280 --> 02:26:33.840
And so my partner stayed with the crooks that were in custody, and I was like, I'll just go out to this kid's house, and I look up and there's there's two black fellas just beating the daylights out of each other with two by fours, just going hell for leather.

02:26:34.479 --> 02:26:51.600
Alright, long story short, because I could drag this on forever, but dosed them all up with spray, got into a wrestle, shits hit the fan, and pretty much the whole community's come out and had started having their own brawls inside this backyard because it was all unit box that backed onto it.

02:26:51.920 --> 02:26:57.120
Anyway, I started getting a bit towed up because I had the bloke on the ground cuffed.

02:26:57.360 --> 02:27:08.479
I was getting kicked left, right, and centre, up the side of myself, and I called urgent, and um I had no idea where the hell I was, and they said, Oh, where are you?

02:27:08.559 --> 02:27:11.280
I was like, Oh, North Shore 35, Urgent.

02:27:11.520 --> 02:27:20.719
And it took them a while to process that I was on this task force because they're like, Why is there a North Shore car in the middle of Mount Druid calling Urgent?

02:27:21.680 --> 02:27:24.719
Anyway, I couldn't because we've been chasing this bloke for so long.

02:27:24.799 --> 02:27:36.239
I I could not have told you where we were, and I was lucky because Polair had been involved in the pursuit, so they'll still floating around, and they've come over.

02:27:37.040 --> 02:27:47.760
I got on air and I was like, I'm 50 metres in front of the North Shore car in the park, and Polair was able to direct all the other units in.

02:27:47.920 --> 02:27:57.280
We had OSG turn up, it was GDs from the PN, GDs from Druid, um OSG, highway, like it.

02:27:57.440 --> 02:28:07.360
I'd never seen a response like it, and they came in and just cleared it out, and that was the end of me.

02:28:07.600 --> 02:28:10.719
The switch, I lost the love for the job.

02:28:10.799 --> 02:28:19.680
I just couldn't yeah, something in it for someone that loved their punch-ons and pursuit so much for all those years.

02:28:20.000 --> 02:28:25.280
I was shocked that that's what made me shut down.

02:28:25.520 --> 02:28:26.719
Yeah, yeah.

02:28:26.879 --> 02:28:28.479
It just cup was full.

02:28:28.639 --> 02:28:33.920
The cup was full, and I knew something was like really wrong.

02:28:34.079 --> 02:28:43.520
Like it it felt different this time, and so I've I had to get out of that task force and I begged my command.

02:28:43.600 --> 02:28:45.360
I was like, can I come back?

02:28:45.440 --> 02:28:46.879
I just need to be around my mates.

02:28:47.040 --> 02:28:47.840
They're like, no.

02:28:48.719 --> 02:28:51.200
So you want to go out there, you stay out there.

02:28:51.440 --> 02:28:56.399
And I put forward my case, I was like, I'm not coping out here, I can't do it financially.

02:28:56.559 --> 02:28:57.680
This has happened.

02:28:57.840 --> 02:29:01.200
I put a whole list of what's wrong.

02:29:02.159 --> 02:29:09.600
And um the HRD at that time said, You're not the only one with problems.

02:29:10.479 --> 02:29:16.639
That was their solution to me finally opening up to a boss about not coping.

02:29:16.879 --> 02:29:20.159
It was you're not the only one with problems, deal with it.

02:29:21.360 --> 02:29:23.520
I kicked off a massive stink about it.

02:29:23.680 --> 02:29:30.879
Eventually got sent back to my command, and it didn't last long.

02:29:31.040 --> 02:29:38.639
I had a day shift, I was on station and just a full-on panic attack over nothing.

02:29:38.879 --> 02:29:44.559
Just lost it, lost the plot at work, and that was something I was pretty proud of not letting people see.

02:29:44.719 --> 02:29:49.840
Like I it was always behind closed doors, I couldn't hold it in.

02:29:50.079 --> 02:29:57.200
And I remember leaving the station and I knew I would never walk back through that door again.

02:29:57.520 --> 02:30:05.920
That was I my cup was just it was gone, and everything else, like home life was gone.

02:30:06.000 --> 02:30:10.799
I was drinking like an absolute just the whole concoction of mess.

02:30:11.040 --> 02:30:14.639
Yeah, and I I was medicated to the hill, like I still am now.

02:30:14.879 --> 02:30:28.879
Um surprisingly, I've been from the first time I got diagnosed, so 2016, 2017, I've been taking a bucket load of meds just to get to work.

02:30:29.760 --> 02:30:46.799
And I know there's lots of cops out there now that are scared to go on medication because they think they won't be able to work, but actually pretty if you're on a good treatment plan for mental health medication, the cops are pretty okay with it.

02:30:47.040 --> 02:30:52.879
And I think some people hate medications, people anti-it post-COVID.

02:30:53.360 --> 02:30:56.879
I I wouldn't I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for medication.

02:30:57.760 --> 02:31:03.680
But yeah, I went off work and I just medicated up.

02:31:03.920 --> 02:31:07.920
I was drinking a bottle of fireball every four days.

02:31:08.159 --> 02:31:09.120
Oh, good drop.

02:31:09.440 --> 02:31:10.079
Yeah.

02:31:10.559 --> 02:31:11.760
It's just liquid.

02:31:12.719 --> 02:31:13.600
It's sweet.

02:31:13.760 --> 02:31:15.680
But yeah, I just drink it straight from the bottle.

02:31:15.760 --> 02:31:16.000
Yeah.

02:31:16.159 --> 02:31:18.239
I wouldn't get out of my bed for days.

02:31:19.120 --> 02:31:22.639
Like I was it I was at my line.

02:31:22.799 --> 02:31:23.280
That was it.

02:31:23.360 --> 02:31:23.760
That's it.

02:31:23.920 --> 02:31:24.319
That was it.

02:31:24.399 --> 02:31:26.559
Like I couldn't even function to get out of bed.

02:31:26.719 --> 02:31:29.440
I'd the body shut down for so long.

02:31:29.920 --> 02:31:32.799
I think it might have been its it was recoup.

02:31:33.200 --> 02:31:34.879
Like it was just it all hit.

02:31:35.120 --> 02:31:36.719
Just complete exhaustion.

02:31:36.959 --> 02:31:45.040
Yeah, I got chronically ill with every like stomach bugs, the flu, like it immune system just giving up as well.

02:31:45.200 --> 02:31:50.719
Everything I just knew.

02:31:50.959 --> 02:31:51.520
That's it.

02:31:51.760 --> 02:31:52.399
That's it.

02:31:54.319 --> 02:31:55.760
The job's gone.

02:31:56.079 --> 02:31:59.840
And I I've I'll be honest, I I still can't accept it.

02:32:00.399 --> 02:32:02.319
And this is only how long ago?

02:32:02.639 --> 02:32:12.799
So I got my official discharge August last year, and I was off for about a year before that's about how long the whole process took.

02:32:13.040 --> 02:32:18.879
So we're looking at a year and a half, nearly two years now, since I strapped up.

02:32:20.319 --> 02:32:22.000
And I still can't accept it.

02:32:22.079 --> 02:32:31.600
It's like I wish I could come on here and be like, all right, if you leave the cops, this is this is how you do it, this is how you feel better.

02:32:31.760 --> 02:32:34.719
And I love when I do hear people talk about it.

02:32:34.959 --> 02:32:39.120
Like, especially on this podcast, you get a lot, there's a lot of success stories 100%.

02:32:39.840 --> 02:32:52.399
Um yeah, I struggle with it still to still fresh, it's still fresh, and I don't know anything apart from being a cop.

02:32:52.879 --> 02:32:57.920
Um like I was young, like some joins fresh out of school, but I joined 21.

02:32:59.200 --> 02:33:03.360
But I was an immature 21-year-old when I joined.

02:33:03.600 --> 02:33:10.399
So my whole adulting and how to learn how to be an adult shaped by policing, is completely shaped by the cops.

02:33:10.639 --> 02:33:25.120
So to picture a world without that, and I know there is, like, I'm not naive that this is a be-all and end all, but it is really hard to convince yourself, like I was gonna be a lifer.

02:33:25.440 --> 02:33:28.399
That was my plan from the start.

02:33:29.680 --> 02:33:33.200
So it is a big thing.

02:33:33.360 --> 02:33:48.000
It's just I want people to know that they're not the only one that's shit scared of leaving the cops or shit scared of what's gonna happen, or at that breaking point where they think there's no other choice, it will get better.

02:33:48.159 --> 02:33:49.600
It does get better.

02:33:50.399 --> 02:33:53.200
I've seen people get better, so it obviously does.

02:33:53.360 --> 02:33:59.280
It's just stepping away from a career you loved not by your choice.

02:34:00.639 --> 02:34:02.079
Is really hard.

02:34:02.719 --> 02:34:07.120
Like if I'd said this is going to be my end date, here's my badge, here's my uniform.

02:34:07.280 --> 02:34:08.079
Yeah, yeah, I get it.

02:34:10.319 --> 02:34:15.040
But for it to be on someone else's timeline, yeah, it's just it's not complete.

02:34:15.280 --> 02:34:18.879
I'm sure there's lots of ex cops that will go, no, you're a fucking dickhead, shut up.

02:34:18.959 --> 02:34:21.760
And there'll be a few that go, yeah, I agree with you.

02:34:21.920 --> 02:34:32.159
But it's for me personally, I I hadn't cried for a long time once I went off work.

02:34:32.319 --> 02:34:34.479
Like I just went emotionally dead.

02:34:34.959 --> 02:34:40.319
And then I got a call that I had to hand in my badge and my uniform and all that kind of stuff.

02:34:40.719 --> 02:34:45.760
And that was the first time I was able to let emotion out in a long time.

02:34:46.559 --> 02:35:02.079
And I think about it, I was like, wow, that's it must have been built up because it's I was just pulling a bit of metal out of my pocket and handing it to someone, but the symbolic like I'd carried that badge every day from graduation.

02:35:02.399 --> 02:35:06.239
Like some people don't do it, but I always had mine in my pocket.

02:35:06.399 --> 02:35:12.079
I remember getting back in my car and I handed it to the supervisor.

02:35:13.840 --> 02:35:16.719
We're parked up in the car under the harbour bridge.

02:35:17.040 --> 02:35:19.360
Cause I didn't want to go into the police station.

02:35:19.760 --> 02:35:24.319
Handed him a shopping bag full of uniform that all fit in one bag.

02:35:24.559 --> 02:35:27.120
And in the badge I got in, I was like, is that the end?

02:35:27.760 --> 02:35:34.000
Like I thought there might be some sort of relief, but it was just another day.

02:35:34.399 --> 02:35:36.000
I don't know where I was going to with that.

02:35:36.079 --> 02:35:37.920
I kind of digressed it digressed a bit off.

02:35:38.399 --> 02:35:38.799
No, I get it.

02:35:38.879 --> 02:35:40.319
Yeah, I totally get it, mate.

02:35:40.799 --> 02:35:45.120
It was Yeah, it's a hard step.

02:35:45.280 --> 02:35:51.920
And I'm sure lots of like those people that are in a lot longer than I was that probably struggle a lot more than that.

02:35:52.239 --> 02:35:53.200
Of course, yeah.

02:35:54.559 --> 02:35:58.479
Yeah, it's it's a funny world being in.

02:35:58.719 --> 02:36:00.799
And then being out so quickly.

02:36:01.600 --> 02:36:03.120
The transition's difficult.

02:36:03.440 --> 02:36:05.120
If you don't have a plan B.

02:36:05.600 --> 02:36:15.200
Some guys I know it some are blessed and some are smart enough to have a plan B so they're able to transition quickly out of the cops.

02:36:15.760 --> 02:36:25.840
But I know like me and a lot of guys I joined with, we had no plan B, it was just joined forever.

02:36:27.280 --> 02:36:32.479
So it is a big learning curve trying to get to what's next.

02:36:32.799 --> 02:36:33.760
Does that make sense?

02:36:34.000 --> 02:36:35.120
Yeah, of course.

02:36:36.399 --> 02:36:39.920
But yeah, so then yeah, that's got me to basically to where we are today.

02:36:42.000 --> 02:36:43.040
What is next?

02:36:44.799 --> 02:36:45.920
I'm not sure.

02:36:52.559 --> 02:37:03.760
I'm still trying to work out how to be a civilian and not be in my cop for my cop brain all the time.

02:37:04.079 --> 02:37:13.600
Um that's my biggest thing at the moment is trying just to work out how to be that naive civvy that just walks past walks down the street.

02:37:13.760 --> 02:37:21.040
Not walks past stuff, because I've still jumped in and helped things not go certain ways since.

02:37:21.360 --> 02:37:25.760
But yeah, not try and be a cop still.

02:37:26.000 --> 02:37:27.520
Yeah, take that cop hat off.

02:37:27.600 --> 02:37:34.479
Yeah, I've got plenty of mates that have freshly out of the police and it's when we do something like, oh, you can't do that.

02:37:34.559 --> 02:37:35.760
I'm like, shut your mouth, mate.

02:37:35.840 --> 02:37:37.040
You're not a cop anymore.

02:37:37.360 --> 02:37:38.079
Just do it.

02:37:38.559 --> 02:37:40.719
What was I was take that cap off?

02:37:41.120 --> 02:37:44.239
I was with my missus the other day, Tammy, and we were driving around.

02:37:44.479 --> 02:37:48.159
I said, Oh, look at this She goes, You're not a cop.

02:37:48.319 --> 02:37:50.399
I was like, Oh yeah, oh I'm not, damn.

02:37:50.879 --> 02:37:51.520
Like, fuck.

02:37:51.680 --> 02:37:56.000
Like just everything, I'm pointing stuff out, she's like, just which is good.

02:37:56.079 --> 02:37:59.760
She's my calming voice at the moment that's keeping me settled.

02:38:00.799 --> 02:38:16.079
And it's it's good because I'm on the Instagram thing you mentioned at the start, it's purely made for cops to look at and go, I can relate to that.

02:38:16.479 --> 02:38:26.639
I'm not the only one with that thought, or just things that like social media is full of angry bullshit all the time.

02:38:27.280 --> 02:38:36.399
If if I'm having a shit day and I open Instagram, it's just constant rambling about shit, or this is wrong, that's wrong.

02:38:36.719 --> 02:38:38.559
It's just a negative place to be.

02:38:38.799 --> 02:38:48.639
I figured if I could have a page where I people like me could open it and relate and not feel bad after reading it, it might do something.

02:38:49.040 --> 02:38:56.399
There's nothing in it for me in any way, but it it keeps me connected with people in the job.

02:38:56.719 --> 02:39:04.319
Like-minded people, yes, like-minded people, which when you leave the cops, you're out of that bubble, not intentionally, but you're just away from it.

02:39:04.959 --> 02:39:11.520
It keeps you in communication with your like-minded people, and then they can also relate to your experiences.

02:39:11.600 --> 02:39:23.280
Like, I've had people contact me, I did a podcast not long ago, and the amount of people that have reached out that have gone through exactly the same thing but never talked about it.

02:39:23.520 --> 02:39:27.520
I was like, Wow, this is something I can work on.

02:39:27.600 --> 02:39:45.920
So at the moment, that's just keeping me going day to day, and I'm lucky like that whole Code Red thing, my my miss has designed the logo for it, and she supports it like crazy, which if she didn't, I don't know what I'd do with myself, really.

02:39:46.079 --> 02:39:54.639
That's the only thing that kind of keeps me going at the moment, social media, because some days you don't want to leave the house, you don't want to get out of bed.

02:39:54.799 --> 02:39:56.799
That's the joys of PTSD.

02:39:56.879 --> 02:40:04.639
Some days you're manic, some weeks you you're down, so I can just sit there inside and type away.

02:40:04.799 --> 02:40:07.520
And like I had what was it last week?

02:40:07.680 --> 02:40:09.760
One of my old inspectors called me up.

02:40:10.719 --> 02:40:13.280
Said, Oh, I just listened to this, this, and this.

02:40:13.360 --> 02:40:14.479
I remember you doing that.

02:40:14.639 --> 02:40:22.000
And we were able to debrief a job from ten years ago that neither of us had ever debriefed about.

02:40:22.239 --> 02:40:33.440
And I was like, I'm happy at the moment just being that middle guy on Instagram, just trying to make people feel normal.

02:40:33.600 --> 02:40:33.760
Yeah.

02:40:34.000 --> 02:40:35.280
If that makes sense, exactly.

02:40:38.479 --> 02:40:38.959
Yeah.

02:40:39.280 --> 02:40:44.719
And it yeah, it I wish I knew what was ahead.

02:40:44.959 --> 02:41:04.719
Um like dealing with insurance companies and because I got the physical injury, the PTSDs, it's a long process, so I'm just thinking one day at a time at this stage, just trying to get through this and my ultimate plan is just to be the best dad I can be.

02:41:04.879 --> 02:41:05.440
Yeah.

02:41:05.680 --> 02:41:11.760
Like I feel like I got a lot of I feel like I've got a lot of making up to do for him.

02:41:12.079 --> 02:41:15.040
I know that like my family says I don't.

02:41:15.360 --> 02:41:16.959
He probably doesn't think I do.

02:41:17.280 --> 02:41:20.799
But you know when you got something inside you that you gotta do better.

02:41:21.040 --> 02:41:27.680
That's my main objective is to be a better dad than I have been.

02:41:27.920 --> 02:41:29.440
Yeah, yeah, for sure.

02:41:29.600 --> 02:41:35.760
Yeah, yeah, that got I get it, man.

02:41:35.840 --> 02:41:40.079
I've got four kids and I reflect on it a lot when I do things, and I'm like, fuck.

02:41:40.239 --> 02:41:41.920
Yeah, shouldn't it do that?

02:41:42.799 --> 02:41:45.200
And no one else sees it, but you it's inside you.

02:41:45.360 --> 02:41:45.920
Yeah, yeah.

02:41:46.079 --> 02:41:49.680
I had something the other day, I'm like, fuck, shouldn't it that?

02:41:50.000 --> 02:41:51.040
Why did I say that?

02:41:51.200 --> 02:41:52.479
Yeah, you dickhead.

02:41:53.200 --> 02:41:54.799
I call I call myself that all the time.

02:41:54.959 --> 02:41:56.719
Yeah, I can't say fucking dickhead.

02:41:57.120 --> 02:41:58.079
I just do it.

02:41:59.680 --> 02:42:00.479
Yeah, right, mate.

02:42:00.719 --> 02:42:05.280
Obviously, that leads us to the current day, and uh yeah, I guess that's that's where we are.

02:42:05.360 --> 02:42:10.639
And I suppose probably the best time to move on to this final part of the podcast, mate.

02:42:10.799 --> 02:42:12.000
A couple of final questions, mate.

02:42:12.159 --> 02:42:20.959
And you know, the first one is kind of all that, you know, giving your two cents on and advice to other people.

02:42:21.200 --> 02:42:23.600
So I guess, yeah, first question, mate.

02:42:23.680 --> 02:42:30.959
What advice can you give to people just to keep on keeping on completing any goal they set their mind to and just to crush it in life?

02:42:32.159 --> 02:42:40.479
For me, it was to get to the point in my own head where other people's opinions don't mean shit.

02:42:40.799 --> 02:42:49.600
Just if you've got an objective or you've got a plan or a dream or an out there idea, just run with it.

02:42:49.680 --> 02:42:51.040
It's your idea.

02:42:51.600 --> 02:42:58.000
It's your plan, that's your mission, it's your it's yours, no one else can bring you down.

02:42:58.559 --> 02:43:08.959
And just the keep on keeping on is when you say that I got a family friend, he's just turned 94, and that's been his saying as long as I've been alive.

02:43:09.520 --> 02:43:12.079
And that's how he finishes all these text messages.

02:43:12.319 --> 02:43:25.920
Name's Alan Staines, and he says keep on keeping on, and it's just to me that's always been block out everything else, and if you've got something you're aiming for, no one can stop you.

02:43:26.079 --> 02:43:27.440
Yeah, exactly.

02:43:27.760 --> 02:43:36.639
So just ignore everyone, crack on, get rid of negativity, keep your circle close, go hard.

02:43:36.799 --> 02:43:43.200
Yeah, it's not rocket science, what I just said.

02:43:43.680 --> 02:43:49.760
I'm sure it probably contradicts some some way in there, but that's how I do each day.

02:43:49.920 --> 02:43:52.559
I don't care for negativity around me.

02:43:52.639 --> 02:43:57.600
I've had a career of negative shit, of trauma, of rubbish.

02:43:57.760 --> 02:44:02.879
It's just of rules and policies and all that kind of gear.

02:44:03.200 --> 02:44:06.000
It's time to run your own race.

02:44:06.159 --> 02:44:11.600
Like just keep on keeping on, put your head down and just do what you want to do, no matter what.

02:44:11.680 --> 02:44:11.920
Yeah.

02:44:12.079 --> 02:44:13.040
As long as it's not crime.

02:44:13.200 --> 02:44:13.440
Yeah.

02:44:13.920 --> 02:44:14.799
So just don't do crime.

02:44:15.200 --> 02:44:17.360
If you're a criminal, then keep on keeping on.

02:44:18.000 --> 02:44:20.399
See, I told you I would contradict yourself somewhere.

02:44:20.639 --> 02:44:21.920
Do do what you do best.

02:44:22.319 --> 02:44:24.399
I actually got keep on keeping on from Joe Dirt.

02:44:25.360 --> 02:44:26.959
Yeah, that's where I get it from.

02:44:27.680 --> 02:44:29.440
I watched it the last week again, too.

02:44:29.520 --> 02:44:30.959
Yeah, it's one of my favourite movies.

02:44:31.120 --> 02:44:31.680
That's deep.

02:44:32.000 --> 02:44:33.760
Just gonna keep on keeping on.

02:44:34.319 --> 02:44:37.920
Mate, um second question, what scared you most in life?

02:44:38.319 --> 02:44:40.639
Uh, I've got a serious one on funny one.

02:44:41.200 --> 02:44:42.639
Funny one is cats.

02:44:43.360 --> 02:44:44.799
Huge phobia of cats.

02:44:44.879 --> 02:44:45.760
Oh, yeah, yeah, right.

02:44:46.239 --> 02:44:48.079
Cats sit on your face when you're a baby or something.

02:44:48.319 --> 02:44:50.639
I don't know what it is, because I was talking to my old man about it the other day.

02:44:52.319 --> 02:44:54.079
Yeah, there'd be some other things for that.

02:44:54.879 --> 02:44:56.079
You'd have to kill every cat out there.

02:44:56.559 --> 02:44:58.399
The devil incarnate, there's something about them.

02:44:58.719 --> 02:44:59.040
I love them.

02:44:59.840 --> 02:45:00.639
I think they're great.

02:45:00.959 --> 02:45:01.280
No.

02:45:01.520 --> 02:45:06.719
I like I would say people with snakes and spiders, cats.

02:45:06.879 --> 02:45:08.479
I can't at all.

02:45:09.520 --> 02:45:17.360
Um the other biggest fear is not living up to what my son's expectations would be of me.

02:45:18.159 --> 02:45:22.079
And they might be like what wild expectations or low expectations.

02:45:22.159 --> 02:45:26.239
I don't know, he's still young, but that scares me.

02:45:26.479 --> 02:45:27.920
Yeah, of course, yeah.

02:45:28.559 --> 02:45:30.399
Like, I know what it's like.

02:45:30.559 --> 02:45:37.200
My old man, he's lived up to every expectation I've had of him, and it makes me feel good.

02:45:38.000 --> 02:45:39.520
So I want that same feeling.

02:45:40.239 --> 02:45:40.879
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:45:41.040 --> 02:45:41.280
Yeah.

02:45:41.520 --> 02:45:46.879
Because I'm proud of my old man, and I just want to be that kind of dad.

02:45:47.120 --> 02:45:48.079
Yeah, that's it.

02:45:48.159 --> 02:45:52.559
You know, when you start growing up, you know, being 20 where I've been going, fuck, my dad's gay.

02:45:52.879 --> 02:45:54.079
You know, nothing.

02:45:54.319 --> 02:45:56.399
Like, imagine fucking Albanese son.

02:45:56.959 --> 02:45:59.360
I'd just be going, oh change your name.

02:45:59.760 --> 02:46:01.600
How is he my dad?

02:46:02.639 --> 02:46:08.079
Like, I've got all the dads in the world, and God gave me this.

02:46:08.239 --> 02:46:10.159
I got this bloke, I've got this book.

02:46:10.639 --> 02:46:11.760
Fuck, I'd be sad.

02:46:12.479 --> 02:46:16.559
Mate, uh question, tell us something about it, you that people don't know.

02:46:16.959 --> 02:46:18.319
Guilty of touching.

02:46:18.559 --> 02:46:22.799
Food, music, cars, oh, cars, shoes, shoes.

02:46:23.200 --> 02:46:24.799
Oh, everyone knows about the shoes.

02:46:24.959 --> 02:46:27.200
I've had people giving me shit online for the shoes.

02:46:27.360 --> 02:46:28.000
Love that.

02:46:28.319 --> 02:46:29.600
Means they're watching.

02:46:31.600 --> 02:46:32.079
Cars.

02:46:32.319 --> 02:46:34.159
I'm an absolute car nut.

02:46:34.799 --> 02:46:39.040
Absolutely rebuilt and worked the daylights out of the SS I've got now.

02:46:39.200 --> 02:46:39.840
Yeah.

02:46:41.920 --> 02:46:43.120
And it's a weapon.

02:46:43.360 --> 02:46:44.000
Yeah.

02:46:44.479 --> 02:46:45.600
You can hear it coming, yeah.

02:46:45.760 --> 02:46:48.399
Yeah, I don't even have to knock on your door, it's just rattling the windows.

02:46:49.280 --> 02:46:50.239
5.7 litre.

02:46:50.399 --> 02:46:51.120
No, 6.3.

02:46:51.360 --> 02:46:52.159
That's a 6.3.

02:46:52.559 --> 02:46:52.879
Oof.

02:46:53.120 --> 02:46:53.840
You hear me.

02:46:54.319 --> 02:46:58.239
6.3, full engine rebuild cam.

02:46:59.760 --> 02:47:01.840
Like, I don't even know where to start.

02:47:01.920 --> 02:47:02.959
That's just the top.

02:47:03.280 --> 02:47:04.000
All the way through.

02:47:04.079 --> 02:47:04.799
It's a new car.

02:47:04.879 --> 02:47:05.760
I love it.

02:47:06.239 --> 02:47:10.159
Um, I love my Tim Tams.

02:47:10.399 --> 02:47:10.719
Do you?

02:47:10.879 --> 02:47:12.000
I'm addicted to Tim Tim's.

02:47:12.079 --> 02:47:12.959
Just the standard ones.

02:47:13.040 --> 02:47:13.920
Just standard ones.

02:47:14.000 --> 02:47:17.840
I could like just sit there and have the whole just before bed.

02:47:18.000 --> 02:47:19.040
You've already brushed your teeth.

02:47:19.120 --> 02:47:19.680
You're ready to be.

02:47:19.760 --> 02:47:20.479
I'm like, I need Tim Tim.

02:47:20.559 --> 02:47:21.280
Tim Tim's in there.

02:47:21.440 --> 02:47:23.200
It's like my nighttime snack.

02:47:23.680 --> 02:47:28.239
And then me and my missus, she's got me into this game.

02:47:28.799 --> 02:47:30.000
We were talking about this last time.

02:47:30.079 --> 02:47:30.399
Yeah, yeah.

02:47:30.559 --> 02:47:31.520
I was meant to send you one of these.

02:47:31.600 --> 02:47:32.959
It's called Blockus.

02:47:33.040 --> 02:47:33.360
Yeah.

02:47:33.680 --> 02:47:36.159
And you gotta join different shapes.

02:47:36.399 --> 02:47:40.799
It's like, it seems like some Asian brain game.

02:47:41.040 --> 02:47:44.159
And it's probably nerdy as, but I'm addicted as heck to it.

02:47:44.319 --> 02:47:47.440
Like every time we're together, I'm like, oh yeah, let's get the blockus out.

02:47:47.600 --> 02:47:56.559
And we get like she's competitive as hell, so it gets the neighbors might think we're having a domestic and we're just dealing with who's blocked who on his blockers.

02:47:56.719 --> 02:47:57.120
Yeah, yeah.

02:47:57.520 --> 02:47:58.639
So yeah, that's a weird one.

02:47:58.719 --> 02:48:07.440
And then last one is I'm mad keen on collecting World War II memorabilia and military memorabilia from like war eras.

02:48:07.760 --> 02:48:11.520
So I've got a pretty decent collection picking up now.

02:48:12.559 --> 02:48:14.319
So that's a little nerdy obsession.

02:48:14.479 --> 02:48:15.520
Yeah, no, that's cool, mate.

02:48:15.600 --> 02:48:16.159
That's cool.

02:48:16.319 --> 02:48:16.639
Yeah.

02:48:16.879 --> 02:48:19.040
Uh movie, TV show.

02:48:19.440 --> 02:48:20.399
What are you watching?

02:48:20.479 --> 02:48:21.200
What's the go-to?

02:48:21.600 --> 02:48:26.559
Oh mate, at the moment, since our last chat, I actually started on Blue Healers again from the start.

02:48:26.879 --> 02:48:27.920
Blue Healers.

02:48:28.959 --> 02:48:30.319
I think we talked about it last time.

02:48:30.559 --> 02:48:30.959
We did, yeah.

02:48:31.040 --> 02:48:36.239
I mean, I'm like, no, I'm gonna start from the beginning, like I think it's like 1991 Australian TV.

02:48:36.399 --> 02:48:36.719
Yeah.

02:48:37.040 --> 02:48:37.440
So shit.

02:48:37.680 --> 02:48:38.639
They're classics, mate.

02:48:38.719 --> 02:48:39.360
They're classics.

02:48:39.440 --> 02:48:41.520
So I've been cracking back into Blue Healers.

02:48:41.760 --> 02:48:43.040
Not as good as Water Rats.

02:48:44.319 --> 02:48:47.040
That was the fucking that was the jam Jalen Guy, I mean.

02:48:47.120 --> 02:48:48.399
I did like water rats.

02:48:49.200 --> 02:48:50.559
Did you ever watch Sea Patrol?

02:48:50.959 --> 02:48:52.079
Oh yeah, fucking love it.

02:48:52.239 --> 02:48:54.639
That was the most hardcore navy you'll ever see.

02:48:54.719 --> 02:48:54.959
Yeah.

02:48:55.200 --> 02:48:58.079
Because my miss is a navy, and I was like, oh yeah, let's watch Sea Patrol.

02:48:58.239 --> 02:48:59.360
She's like, get fucked.

02:48:59.440 --> 02:48:59.600
Yeah.

02:49:00.000 --> 02:49:01.200
Not turning that on in my house.

02:49:01.360 --> 02:49:02.159
I love that show, yeah.

02:49:02.239 --> 02:49:02.799
I thought it was sick.

02:49:03.200 --> 02:49:04.399
I'd watch it again, actually.

02:49:04.559 --> 02:49:07.920
Uh but my favourite TV show ever would be, it's called The Shield.

02:49:08.239 --> 02:49:09.040
Yep, yep.

02:49:09.200 --> 02:49:15.520
And it's about a small team of plainclothes cops that are corrupt as hell.

02:49:15.680 --> 02:49:16.479
Is that the British one?

02:49:16.639 --> 02:49:17.360
No, it's American.

02:49:17.600 --> 02:49:18.079
American one.

02:49:18.319 --> 02:49:21.920
And it's the guy who plays is he the Hulk?

02:49:22.479 --> 02:49:23.360
The bald.

02:49:24.959 --> 02:49:27.040
I'm terrible with names these days.

02:49:27.440 --> 02:49:28.159
Hulk?

02:49:28.479 --> 02:49:29.280
The Hulk?

02:49:29.520 --> 02:49:30.159
Oh nah.

02:49:30.239 --> 02:49:31.440
It's one of those Marvel things.

02:49:31.520 --> 02:49:31.680
Yep.

02:49:31.760 --> 02:49:32.079
Yep.

02:49:32.319 --> 02:49:33.680
Oh, he's a bald bloke.

02:49:33.920 --> 02:49:36.239
Anyway, it's like it goes, it went for years.

02:49:36.319 --> 02:49:41.200
So I got the box set of it, but it slowly goes through the demise of corruption.

02:49:41.360 --> 02:49:44.000
And so at the start, they're just like living like kings.

02:49:44.319 --> 02:49:48.399
And you just watch it, and then eventually they're all dead or in jail.

02:49:48.639 --> 02:49:50.959
So it's like it takes it's like a slow burn.

02:49:51.040 --> 02:49:53.200
So it's like promoting corruption to start with.

02:49:53.280 --> 02:49:53.440
Yeah.

02:49:53.600 --> 02:49:58.319
So everyone we started watching it at work, people were like, Man, you guys shouldn't be watching this if you're cops.

02:49:58.479 --> 02:50:00.239
I'm like, no, wait till the end, they all die.

02:50:00.319 --> 02:50:01.280
It's alright.

02:50:01.840 --> 02:50:21.120
So it shows it actually, it's really good for young coppers to watch, I reckon, because it shows the lifestyle of being a dodgy cop and how it can be good and look good, but then behind the scenes it shows the impact of your behaviours.

02:50:22.319 --> 02:50:30.479
So me and the boys watch it when we're in the plain clothes unit, and like it makes you think like I'm glad I'm not like that.

02:50:30.799 --> 02:50:31.920
But yeah, it's a good one.

02:50:32.000 --> 02:50:37.600
If anyone's watching it, it's it's it's a long one, you've got to sit down and watch it, but the shield, it's pretty gangster.

02:50:37.920 --> 02:50:41.360
Yeah, it's definitely still crop cops out there, there, no doubt.

02:50:41.440 --> 02:50:43.760
Yeah, no doubt, especially in Nebraska.

02:50:44.239 --> 02:50:44.879
Far around.

02:50:45.440 --> 02:50:46.239
Top down.

02:50:47.040 --> 02:50:48.879
Uh music, what do you listen to?

02:50:49.040 --> 02:50:50.559
Cruising around and your V8 mate.

02:50:50.799 --> 02:50:52.239
What's on Nikki Webster?

02:50:52.479 --> 02:50:53.520
Nicki Webster.

02:50:54.879 --> 02:50:56.559
Bit of high five.

02:50:57.040 --> 02:51:14.319
Well, actually, sometimes random shit comes on because my son, he's four, and he loves his music, but kids' music, and I'll just be pumping through the random shuffle, and all of a sudden I got pumped on when I pulled up here was um demon hunters.

02:51:14.559 --> 02:51:15.440
Oh yeah, K-pop.

02:51:15.600 --> 02:51:16.000
K pop.

02:51:16.479 --> 02:51:19.920
That is not my my jam, but my little sort of pup.

02:51:23.120 --> 02:51:24.159
Oh, he loves all of them.

02:51:24.399 --> 02:51:25.360
Like mental.

02:51:25.600 --> 02:51:30.479
But if it's my choice, I mix between like punk, punk rock.

02:51:30.559 --> 02:51:31.920
I love my Blink 182.

02:51:32.079 --> 02:51:33.760
Oh yeah, I'll I'll Blink, yeah.

02:51:33.920 --> 02:51:35.760
I was a big Blink teen.

02:51:36.079 --> 02:51:36.319
Yeah.

02:51:36.479 --> 02:51:37.840
I've met them a few times now.

02:51:38.079 --> 02:51:38.719
Of course you have.

02:51:38.959 --> 02:51:39.760
Yeah, yeah, they were.

02:51:41.120 --> 02:51:41.440
Yeah, I know.

02:51:41.600 --> 02:51:45.040
It's with uh obviously touring around the world with a certain artist.

02:51:45.680 --> 02:51:52.399
And Blink was always at the not not they're always in the same place at the same time but a different venue.

02:51:52.479 --> 02:51:52.559
Yeah.

02:51:52.799 --> 02:51:54.639
At the smaller arena venues.

02:51:54.799 --> 02:51:55.120
Yeah.

02:51:55.280 --> 02:51:56.079
Every time.

02:51:56.319 --> 02:51:59.520
And the main senior, what's the main senior's name?

02:51:59.760 --> 02:52:00.399
Mark.

02:52:01.840 --> 02:52:02.159
Tom.

02:52:02.559 --> 02:52:03.440
Tom, that's it.

02:52:03.680 --> 02:52:13.520
Him or Tom would come, Mark or Tom would come to the VIP town and just and I always have to help escort them to the area where they had to go.

02:52:13.760 --> 02:52:14.479
What they like.

02:52:14.639 --> 02:52:16.079
Yeah, just normal dude.

02:52:16.559 --> 02:52:16.879
Yeah, yeah.

02:52:17.120 --> 02:52:17.280
Yeah.

02:52:17.440 --> 02:52:20.719
Me or you whenever it comes on, I just goes back to high school.

02:52:20.959 --> 02:52:21.520
Which is good, yeah.

02:52:21.600 --> 02:52:22.000
That's what I mean.

02:52:24.719 --> 02:52:25.920
Starting to listen to Blink.

02:52:26.799 --> 02:52:39.280
Fuck, would have been year easily year nine, eight for me, and that's 1995, 96.

02:52:39.760 --> 02:52:40.079
Yeah.

02:52:40.239 --> 02:52:42.799
I started listening to Blink, I'm pretty sure when they first come out.

02:52:43.120 --> 02:52:45.120
Yeah, when they first come out, yeah.

02:52:45.840 --> 02:52:49.840
I can't believe where we are in time-wise.

02:52:50.000 --> 02:52:55.360
Like I got my 20th school reunion coming up, and I was like, Fuck one's fucking long gone, yeah.

02:52:55.600 --> 02:52:57.680
What the where's the time gone?

02:52:57.920 --> 02:52:59.280
I love yeah, my Blink.

02:52:59.920 --> 02:53:02.000
It was a band that was wasn't too popular.

02:53:02.159 --> 02:53:03.920
It was called Real Big Fish.

02:53:04.079 --> 02:53:04.319
Yeah.

02:53:04.639 --> 02:53:05.600
You know Real Big Fish?

02:53:05.920 --> 02:53:06.000
Yeah.

02:53:06.239 --> 02:53:07.680
Froth over Real Big Fish.

02:53:07.920 --> 02:53:08.559
Fucking hell.

02:53:08.719 --> 02:53:09.600
Had all their albums.

02:53:09.920 --> 02:53:11.280
That takes me back, yeah.

02:53:11.520 --> 02:53:14.719
Yeah, that that was those two were always goldfish.

02:53:15.600 --> 02:53:16.719
Who was it?

02:53:16.879 --> 02:53:17.440
Goldfinger.

02:53:17.680 --> 02:53:18.639
Goldfinger, yeah.

02:53:18.879 --> 02:53:19.760
Friends of Rom.

02:53:20.719 --> 02:53:21.440
Unwritten law.

02:53:21.680 --> 02:53:23.280
Or um Bloodhouse Gang.

02:53:23.360 --> 02:53:24.319
Yeah, Bloodhound Gang.

02:53:24.799 --> 02:53:26.639
That were they come out with that.

02:53:26.719 --> 02:53:27.360
What's that song?

02:53:27.760 --> 02:53:28.559
Oh, is it the fish?

02:53:28.799 --> 02:53:29.760
Oh, not the fish one.

02:53:30.079 --> 02:53:32.079
Um Pretty When I'm Drunk.

02:53:32.239 --> 02:53:32.719
Yeah.

02:53:32.959 --> 02:53:34.559
That one's a that's a bit messy.

02:53:35.360 --> 02:53:35.760
Good songs.

02:53:35.920 --> 02:53:36.319
Good songs.

02:53:36.559 --> 02:53:42.799
Mate, uh oh man, I guess that's fucking it.

02:53:42.959 --> 02:53:43.760
That was a good show.

02:53:44.000 --> 02:53:44.559
It was great.

02:53:44.639 --> 02:53:45.360
It was again.

02:53:45.520 --> 02:53:45.680
Again.

02:53:46.079 --> 02:53:46.879
Thanks again, mate.

02:53:47.120 --> 02:53:54.879
It's it's wild though, because I totally forgot everything we've I did maybe four or five podcasts since the last time we recorded.

02:53:54.959 --> 02:53:55.760
So that's a lot.

02:53:56.000 --> 02:54:03.040
People ask me all the time, they're like, oh, can you they'll send me a message on Instagram and be like, can you tell me that episode that was like a fucking on the wrong thing?

02:54:04.000 --> 02:54:04.799
270.

02:54:05.280 --> 02:54:08.319
I've done 243.

02:54:09.840 --> 02:54:16.559
Yeah, 240 something plus another 20 debriefs, so and I've forgotten tons.

02:54:16.879 --> 02:54:20.079
And then you know there'll be a memory that'll jog and yeah.

02:54:20.799 --> 02:54:26.879
Um but it was good because we just did the second chat and most of that we didn't talk about in the first.

02:54:27.280 --> 02:54:28.719
No, no, no, definitely not.

02:54:28.879 --> 02:54:30.159
So that was that was good.

02:54:30.399 --> 02:54:30.959
Good to get it in.

02:54:31.120 --> 02:54:31.760
That was really good, mate.

02:54:31.840 --> 02:54:36.639
But uh for whatever reason people want to reach out to you, where can they find your Instagram?

02:54:36.959 --> 02:54:41.920
Yeah, the Insta would it's code red ben on Instagram.

02:54:42.159 --> 02:54:47.920
Um it's nothing special, but you want to have a chat or what's a code red in the police?

02:54:48.000 --> 02:54:51.280
So code red is when you go lights and sirens to a job.

02:54:51.440 --> 02:54:51.920
To a job, yeah.

02:54:52.079 --> 02:54:53.120
So it's an urgent job.

02:54:53.360 --> 02:55:01.200
So where it came from is we risk our lives driving like nut jobs to help complete strangers.

02:55:01.360 --> 02:55:09.600
Code red, flying through traffic, jumping gutters, having a ball, but risking our lives to help strangers.

02:55:10.239 --> 02:55:20.239
And we never or very rarely stop and talk to the person sitting in the passenger seat of the car and ask them how they're going.

02:55:21.280 --> 02:55:30.239
So the idea of it is just stop in, check on your mates, go code red to your mates when they need you.

02:55:30.719 --> 02:55:43.520
Because one of the biggest failings in the cops is on ground level, is when someone comes off a team or goes off sick, they're not ignored by the team on purpose.

02:55:43.920 --> 02:55:54.159
The team's just so busy that they just forget forgotten about the team's just busy and you're not in that circle that you're not ignored, you're just not you're on the outside.

02:55:54.399 --> 02:56:01.520
And a lot of cops have struggled and not been able to heal from leaving the police because they think they're By the organization.

02:56:02.239 --> 02:56:03.840
Actually, I'll I'll show you that.

02:56:03.920 --> 02:56:05.840
I think they're hated by the boots on the ground.

02:56:06.479 --> 02:56:09.440
And I thought that I had that problem for a long time.

02:56:09.600 --> 02:56:12.719
I thought I was betrayed, I hated everything.

02:56:12.799 --> 02:56:16.479
And then it came to mind that I was just out of sight.

02:56:16.719 --> 02:56:18.239
Like out of mind, out of sight.

02:56:18.479 --> 02:56:25.200
So yeah, the code red thing kind of is a reminder that check on someone you haven't spoken to for a while.

02:56:25.360 --> 02:56:26.479
Kind of thing.

02:56:26.719 --> 02:56:27.040
Yeah.

02:56:27.360 --> 02:56:29.520
That's that's where it where it came from.

02:56:30.159 --> 02:56:34.079
So yeah, if that's the best point of contact.

02:56:35.120 --> 02:56:36.239
That's about it, yeah.

02:56:36.399 --> 02:56:36.559
Yeah.

02:56:36.639 --> 02:56:36.799
Yeah.

02:56:36.959 --> 02:56:37.760
No, awesome, mate.

02:56:37.840 --> 02:56:39.600
Well, again, appreciate you good gear.

02:56:39.840 --> 02:56:44.639
Coming back up at New Year and uh again, sharing your story again.

02:56:44.879 --> 02:56:45.280
Again.

02:56:45.440 --> 02:56:45.920
Ah, it's good.

02:56:46.239 --> 02:56:50.239
And hopefully, what I'm gonna do right now stop.

02:56:50.559 --> 02:56:53.200
I've got the double fucking device going, so I'll stop that as well.

02:56:53.280 --> 02:56:56.319
I'll transfer that straight away because I'm not losing this again.

02:56:57.200 --> 02:57:01.440
Uh but yeah, again, appreciate it, brother, and uh we'll catch up soon and have a rum.

02:57:01.680 --> 02:57:02.079
What do you drink?

02:57:02.239 --> 02:57:03.680
Rum based fireball.

02:57:04.000 --> 02:57:05.040
You still want fireball?

02:57:05.680 --> 02:57:06.479
I can't get it.

02:57:06.559 --> 02:57:09.600
I can't remember fiber first coming hours with nitro and geez.

02:57:09.840 --> 02:57:16.719
Well, we were sponsored by the whole two are sponsored by uh fireball, so we had tons of it was just next.

02:57:16.959 --> 02:57:22.879
It was 2016 or seven, I can't remember, but I had so much fireball, I was pissing fireball.

02:57:23.040 --> 02:57:23.760
Oh, it's incredible.

02:57:23.920 --> 02:57:26.559
Yeah, I took a ball the Mrs.

02:57:26.719 --> 02:57:27.600
Family the other day.

02:57:27.760 --> 02:57:31.600
I was like, Oh old mob will love it, they didn't want to touch it, it's perfect.

02:57:31.920 --> 02:57:33.360
I had more for me.

02:57:34.079 --> 02:57:35.120
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:57:35.200 --> 02:57:35.920
Fireball's me.

02:57:36.639 --> 02:57:37.440
My little devil.

02:57:37.600 --> 02:57:38.719
Yeah, no, done, mate.

02:57:38.799 --> 02:57:38.959
Done.

02:57:39.040 --> 02:57:39.280
All right.

02:57:40.000 --> 02:57:40.959
Yeah, stay in contact.

02:57:41.040 --> 02:57:42.000
Yeah, sweetheart, mate.

02:57:42.079 --> 02:57:42.239
Thank you.

02:57:42.399 --> 02:57:43.040
Cheers, brother.

02:57:43.120 --> 02:57:43.840
Have a good one.